Read Online Alice in Zombieland by Lewis & Cook Carroll - Free Book Online

an explanation.
          ‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.’
          Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. ‘What sort of people live about here?’
          ‘In that direction,’ the Cat said, waving its right paw round, ‘lives a Hatter: and in that direction,’ waving the other paw, ‘lives a Dead Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both zombies.’
          ‘But I don’t want to go among dead people,’ Alice remarked.
          ‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: ‘we’re all dead here. I’m dead. You’re dead.’
          ‘How do you know I’m dead?’ said Alice.
          ‘You must be,’ said the Cat, ‘or you wouldn’t have come here.’
          Alice didn’t think that proved it at all; however, she went on ‘And how do you know that you’re dead?’
          ‘To begin with,’ said the Cat, ‘a living cat eats mice. You grant that?’
          ‘I suppose so,’ said Alice.
          ‘Well, then,’ the Cat went on, ‘you see, I like to eat little girls, not mice. Although a little girl and a mouse are quite the same in my eyes.’ And with that the Cheshire Cat’s eyes grew wider and wider until they were as large as two saucers full of milk and blood.
          ‘Little girls?’ said Alice. Suddenly her shivers were for an altogether different reason as the Cat’s teeth glistened under the sickly dim sunlight.
          ‘Yes, indeed. Little girls taste oh so delicious after a swift chase in the forest,’ said the Cat. ‘Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?’
          ‘I should like it very much,’ said Alice, relieved that the conversation had turned away from eating young girls, ‘but I haven’t been invited yet.’
          ‘Surely an oversight, I’m certain,’ said the Cat. ‘Not to worry. The Red Queen always greets newcomers and visitors to Zombieland. She’s quite particular about making sure they know the rules.
          ‘The rules?’ said Alice.
          ‘My goodness, yes, indeed, the rules,’ said the Cat. ‘Zombieland could not carry on without rules of some sort or another. All those dead things shambling around the countryside looking for fresh meat . . . no, the Queen is quite right in making rules.’
          This made Alice curious: how could one person control all the dead things she’d seen?
          And as if Alice had spoken her query aloud, the Cat grinned wider and leaned close. ‘She partly keeps them in line with her zombie army, you know.’
          ‘No, I didn’t,’ said Alice. ‘Thank you for the information.’ But that seemed hardly to be all the answer. ‘How does she control her zombie army, if you please?’
          ‘Not if I please,’ said the Cat. ‘If you please, indeed.’
          ‘Pardon me.’ Alice gazed back at the Cat in confusion. ‘I’m not sure . . .’
          ‘Who really is?’
          ‘What?’
          ‘Sure,’ replied the Cat.
          Alice shook her head, feeling as if the Cat’s grin had gotten inside her head somehow, and had muddled her thoughts beyond control. ‘Yes, but the zombie army,’ she tried again.
          The Cheshire Cat’s eyes widened with glee. ‘The collars . . . don’t you see?’
          Alice brightened up as it all began to make sense to her. ‘Do you by chance mean those beautiful jeweled collars I’ve seen hanging around others’ necks?’

      ‘Clever, don’t you think?’ said the Cat.
          Alice mulled it over. ‘I suppose so, if you say,’ she said. ‘But isn’t it rather dangerous having all those zombies loose with only pretty jewel collars to control them?’
          The Cat sat back on its invisible haunches and shook its scraggly head. ‘Not if she controls them all.’
          Alice wanted to ask more questions, but the