Read Online Alexander Outland: Space Pirate by G. J. Koch - Free Book Online

got cut off by that armada. Their goal is to keep everyone planetside, so no one can be lost to the space devils, which is what they’re calling the armada.”
    “Possibly because, before us, no one knew it was a space armada.” I thought about this. The group could be local crazies, but they could also be working for Pierre’s people. “Do a further search on the mad bomber, will you Audrey?”
    “Right away, Captain.”
    “Now, about the armada.” They all looked at us with expressions that said they were paying full attention. “Janz says he knows them, or at least the signature. Pirates from over thirty years ago. The original head man was killed, but the assumption is one of his offspring took over and is now old enough to follow in daddy’s effective but strangely named footsteps.”
    “What’s the name?” Slinkie asked.
    “Pierre de Chance and the Chatouilleux Français Armada.”
    I waited for them to all do the translations. Unsurprisingly, Audrey translated first. What was surprising was that she laughed. Like a human. Randolph had done a really good job. I was starting to be impressed.
    Slinkie translated second and, like Audrey, started to howl with laughter. “And they think that’s a scary name?”

    “No, but apparently it was effective.”
    “At preventing pregnancy while increasing satisfaction, sure.” Slinkie was still laughing. “But at scaring the general populace?”
    Randolph translated, finally. Machines, computers and anything related to them were his forté. Languages, not so much. He blushed bright red. “I think that’s a really stupid name.” Of course, he didn’t like that we called the Sixty-Nine the Sixty-Nine , either. There were times I really worried about him. I looked at Audrey. Check that—there were now no times I wasn’t going to be worried about him.
    “So anyway, Janz figures Pierre, Junior, or similar, is now flying the not-so-friendly solar skies. They only stopped Pierre the First before by infiltrating and blowing his brains out, up close and personal. I’d love to avoid doing that. However, Janz also feels we need to stop Pierre here, before he’s able to conscript Herion Military.”
    The laughter stopped. “Did I hear you right?” Randolph asked slowly. “Janz the Butcher wants us to stop this armada? He didn’t tell you how to get away, he told you to take them down?”
    “Pretty much, yeah.”
    Silence filled the room. Slinkie finally broke it. “Dear Feathered Lord—we’re all going to die.”

CHAPTER 17
    “W ell, see, not part of my plan. Us dying, I mean.”
    “Great, Nap. If only the rest of us could perhaps know your plan, maybe we’d feel the same.” Slinkie shook her head. Her hair flipped around. Her mouth was moving, but I was focused on her hair. “NAP!”
    “Huh? What?”
    “You were doing it. Again. The not paying attention to me while I’m talking thing. The thing I hate. You remember?” She looked and sounded furious. Her chest was heaving. I forced my ears to pay attention. My eyes told me they were extremely busy and I shouldn’t bother them now.
    “I was?”
    “Yes. We want to hear whatever plan it is you have, and we want to hear it now.” Slinkie’s breasts wanted to hear the plan? Maybe I did have a shot.
    “Oh. That. Right.”
    “Nap, look at my eyes.”
    “I am.”
    “My eyes are in my head, you feather-brain!”
    My ears told my eyes that pain was imminent unless my eyes obeyed. My eyes and I sighed and dragged up to Slinkie’s face.
Great face. Angry, but great. “Yes. I’m looking at your eyes.”
    “Finally. The plan. What is it? I’d like to know before I kill you.”
    “So, not telling you is in my best interests. Good to know.”
    “Nap, you’re making me think that sticking with Bryant is the way to go.”
    That worked. I spoke quickly. “Fine, fine. We’re going to act like we’re happy to be stuck on Herion tonight. We’re going to go out and see if anyone else tries to kill us