A.I. Apocalypse
That’s what he said.”
    They all took that in for a minute. Vito and James were still stony-faced, not really believing the story.
    “He wanted my help writing a computer virus,” Leon finally continued.
    “What do you know about writing viruses?” Vito laughed.
    Leon was hurt by the laughter, but he tried to brush it off. “Nothing, which is why I used the thing I do know something about: biology. I took apart an open source virus scanner to see how it recognizes virus behavior. Then I wrote a virus that would uses virus scanner code to find virus-like behavior in bits of other code, and then incorporate those algorithms into itself. Look, viruses do a couple of things: they exploit security vulnerabilities on computers, they transmit themselves from computer to computer, and they take over other programs to mimic them, so people think they’re browsing the web when really they’re using a virus to enter their credit card info. The virus I wrote is a kind of meta-virus that incorporates bits of other viruses into itself. It tries them out, keeps the bits that work, and discards the bits that don’t. So it’s constantly evolving.”
    “Bullshit. You’re making this crap up.” Vito went back to rummaging in the fridge.
    “No, I’m telling you the truth. All this,” and here Leon gestured with his arms to indicate the whole world around them. “All this is my doing. And I know it because I didn’t want us to get viruses. Well, anyone under eighteen. You see, the virus checks the user’s metadata, and won’t infect any system being controlled by someone under eighteen. Will you guys please shut the damn refrigerator and pay attention to me!”
    Vito and James hastily put down their food, and James sheepishly closed the refrigerator.
    “Show us,” James said, looking squarely at Leon.
    “OK, send me a message on your phone.”  
    James pulled out his new Gibson. Leon looked up and saw the same jealous feeling he was having mirrored on Vito’s face. James swiped at his phone, and a few seconds later, Leon’s phone buzzed and Vito’s flashed. Leon looked down at his phone. You’re lying.
    “OK, but what does that prove?” James asked.
    “Now, send a message to every adult you know. Say anything you want. I guarantee they won’t answer. You too, Vito.”
    Vito pulled out his ancient Motorola and began to hunt and peck at the phone, while James swiped at his.
    Leon watched Vito work the physical keyboard on his old Motorola and felt embarrassed for him. Leon was relatively poor, so he might not be able to afford the latest gadgets. But Vito’s parents had money. They chose to force their hand-me-down technology on him. Leon shook his head. The old Motorola had maybe only eight cores and no dedicated graphics processor. It must be like having a horse and buggy in the age of cars.
    After they sent their messages, the group retreated to the living room with the food they’d hunted and gathered. Minutes went by as they ate and joked and no replies came.  
    Leon tried the TV. The power light came on, but nothing happened. He tried throwing a feed from his phone up on the TV, and nothing happened. He went back to the kitchen, knocked his phone on the table, but nothing happened. The little screen of his phone was starting to feel like a straitjacket. James and Vito watched his antics with amusement.
    Finally he flopped on the couch. “Well? It’s been fifteen minutes. Any replies?”
    “No,” James and Vito responded simultaneously.
    “OK, try another friend - someone under eighteen.”
    Vito and James tried again, and this time they started getting replies within seconds.
    “Yeah, I can reach everyone,” James said. For the first time, he looked a little unsure of himself.
    “See, it’s got to be my virus.”
    “What are you going to do?” Vito asked.
    “I don’t know. What can I do? I don’t know anything about fighting viruses.”
    “Why are you worried about it?” James asked.

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