draw near, you bend over, take her
wrist, check for a pulse, let her hand drop, then you straighten up, you moan,
slowly you place your hands on your head and you remain there for long minutes,
your features twisted into a hideous mask of terror, an expression unlike
anything I have ever seen on your face before, finally you begin to move again,
you sprint out of the bedroom, you head for the front door, you open it, you
look left and right, a deserted residential street, the neighbouring balconies
empty, the other apartment windows in darkness, you shiver with cold, you’re
still naked, you close the door and return to the bedroom, you pull on your
pants looking all the while at Andréane, you put on your shirt your eyes never
straying from the body, you slip on your socks your gaze locked still on the
corpse, your breathing slow but laboured, your jaw clenched, you leave the room,wander through the dark apartment, and finally, sighing,
you drop onto the couch, your arms dangling between your legs, you remain
motionless, waiting, resigned, then you drift off to sleep, a dreamless sleep,
you open your eyes, sunshine through the windows, you frown and get up, the wall
clock reads seven thirty, you look around, dubious, then you return to the
bedroom, Andréane’s body still there, doubly lit by the lightbulb and the
sunlight, the blood no longer flowing, the blood has dried, you return to the
hallway, your bafflement grows, you pull on your boots, open the front door,
take a few steps onto the balcony, biting cold but magnificent sunshine, you
lean against the wrought iron railing, two passersby ignore you, a car motors
by, you observe it all with astonishment, then steps can be heard coming down
the stairs, a man from the apartment above walks by, barely spares you a glance,
you say hello, your eyes full of defiance, and he mumbles a sleepy greeting in
return, without slowing down, reaches the street and walks away, you follow him
with your eyes for a good long while until he disappears at the end of the
street, you look around once more, stand there, your hands on your hips, your
head cocked to the left, a few folks on the sidewalks, cars, the day-to-day, you
let out a snicker then both incredulous and brazen, return to the apartment,
grab your coat from the floor, slip it on and without a glance backward at the
bedroom, you step outside, take the stairs, walk down the street, stare
insistently at each person you pass, then you stop for a quick breakfast in a
café, seemingly lost in thought,dreaming, then a taxi, stop
back in front of your new place, you walk into your apartment and sit down on
your lopsided couch, motionless, pensive, twenty minutes, a knock on the door
then, you turn to the door then, you nod slowly then, both resigned and
disappointed, as though knowing it couldn’t have lasted, so you walk to the door
with a heavy tread, you open it, but you’re so surprised to see Mélanie that you
look past her to make sure there is no one else, she asks you what’s happening,
you utter a sound that is as much a snicker as a groan and say, that’s just it,
nothing’s happening, silence, she looks at you, silence, slowly you state that
she has no idea what you did last night, but she doesn’t want to know, she
shakes her head, quickly she switches subjects reminding you she has somewhere
she wants to take you today, you ask where, she says you’ll see, you make a face
and yet you agree, and she says she’ll give you ten minutes to get ready but you
say you are ready, she looks surprised, she stares at you, dirty hair, shaggy
beard, rank, wrinkled clothing, but she makes no comment, she herself is wearing
her paint-spattered pants, so you grab your coat, you follow her, you get into
her car, the two of you drive in silence for a good long while then finally you
speak, without looking at her, you tell her that if
wrist, check for a pulse, let her hand drop, then you straighten up, you moan,
slowly you place your hands on your head and you remain there for long minutes,
your features twisted into a hideous mask of terror, an expression unlike
anything I have ever seen on your face before, finally you begin to move again,
you sprint out of the bedroom, you head for the front door, you open it, you
look left and right, a deserted residential street, the neighbouring balconies
empty, the other apartment windows in darkness, you shiver with cold, you’re
still naked, you close the door and return to the bedroom, you pull on your
pants looking all the while at Andréane, you put on your shirt your eyes never
straying from the body, you slip on your socks your gaze locked still on the
corpse, your breathing slow but laboured, your jaw clenched, you leave the room,wander through the dark apartment, and finally, sighing,
you drop onto the couch, your arms dangling between your legs, you remain
motionless, waiting, resigned, then you drift off to sleep, a dreamless sleep,
you open your eyes, sunshine through the windows, you frown and get up, the wall
clock reads seven thirty, you look around, dubious, then you return to the
bedroom, Andréane’s body still there, doubly lit by the lightbulb and the
sunlight, the blood no longer flowing, the blood has dried, you return to the
hallway, your bafflement grows, you pull on your boots, open the front door,
take a few steps onto the balcony, biting cold but magnificent sunshine, you
lean against the wrought iron railing, two passersby ignore you, a car motors
by, you observe it all with astonishment, then steps can be heard coming down
the stairs, a man from the apartment above walks by, barely spares you a glance,
you say hello, your eyes full of defiance, and he mumbles a sleepy greeting in
return, without slowing down, reaches the street and walks away, you follow him
with your eyes for a good long while until he disappears at the end of the
street, you look around once more, stand there, your hands on your hips, your
head cocked to the left, a few folks on the sidewalks, cars, the day-to-day, you
let out a snicker then both incredulous and brazen, return to the apartment,
grab your coat from the floor, slip it on and without a glance backward at the
bedroom, you step outside, take the stairs, walk down the street, stare
insistently at each person you pass, then you stop for a quick breakfast in a
café, seemingly lost in thought,dreaming, then a taxi, stop
back in front of your new place, you walk into your apartment and sit down on
your lopsided couch, motionless, pensive, twenty minutes, a knock on the door
then, you turn to the door then, you nod slowly then, both resigned and
disappointed, as though knowing it couldn’t have lasted, so you walk to the door
with a heavy tread, you open it, but you’re so surprised to see Mélanie that you
look past her to make sure there is no one else, she asks you what’s happening,
you utter a sound that is as much a snicker as a groan and say, that’s just it,
nothing’s happening, silence, she looks at you, silence, slowly you state that
she has no idea what you did last night, but she doesn’t want to know, she
shakes her head, quickly she switches subjects reminding you she has somewhere
she wants to take you today, you ask where, she says you’ll see, you make a face
and yet you agree, and she says she’ll give you ten minutes to get ready but you
say you are ready, she looks surprised, she stares at you, dirty hair, shaggy
beard, rank, wrinkled clothing, but she makes no comment, she herself is wearing
her paint-spattered pants, so you grab your coat, you follow her, you get into
her car, the two of you drive in silence for a good long while then finally you
speak, without looking at her, you tell her that if
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