left me, and I tried not to
stare at him. Why wasn’t he happy to see me? The memorial service
began, and I tried to pay attention to the stories told, but I
couldn’t because I was confused. I couldn’t ignore the man who’d
taken care of me as a father for all of those years, though he
didn’t seem to be that man anymore. He didn’t even look the same.
His ordinarily short silver hair had grown long. His beard was
almost beyond the irritatingly scratchy stage. But it was his eyes
that got to me. They had no depth, no feeling and were blank,
bloodshot eyes which took us in as if he didn’t recognise us. I
barely controlled the shiver that ran through my body. What had
happened to us?
In the end, I managed to listen to some
of the stories, feeling a certain kind of unexpected bliss at the
idea my grandmother wouldn’t be easily forgotten by other people
besides myself. Afterward, most of us took all of the vibrant
plants that decorated the room to the graveyard. I was glad to see
Abbi didn’t join us. The fact that she was friends with Dawn was
all the reason I needed to be glad. I would never forget how they
treated me on my first day at school.
On the way to the graveyard, I heard
some “old biddies,” as Perdita called them, openly mock us for the
“performance,” but I didn’t care. They meant nothing to me. They
couldn’t hurt me.
My family could.
I tried to take my grandfather’s
hand, a movement I’d made a million times before, but he shrugged
me off and edged away, leaving me feeling as though a bucket of
ice-cold water had been thrown all over me. I tried to speak to
Nathan, but he brushed me off as well, tightening up with a rage I
couldn’t explain. Tired of everyone, I stuck by Perdita, who seemed
as annoyed by Nathan as I was. I liked that about her. She could
still be bothered by him, and she didn’t automatically run after
him when he acted like a… like a… werewolf .
My grandmother had been too submissive
on the rare occasion Opa was being unreasonable. She’d give in
without a fuss and wait for the sweetness and light to come back. I
had always assumed her easy forgiveness was a symptom of the curse.
Now I wasn’t so sure. Then again, I wasn’t sure of anything
anymore. The uncertainty seemed to clog my pores, making it hard
for me to follow through on a thought.
Perdita still managed to irritate me,
putting on her sceptical face when I mentioned leaving flowers on
old graves. I didn’t want to be forgotten; why would anyone else?
It bothered me that she still had that narrow-minded reaction to
anything new, despite everything that had happened. She would see
so much more to life if she could open her mind. I supposed I
should have gone easier on her. After all, something supernatural
was going to kill her before her time. Maybe her denying what was
out there helped her cope.
On the way back, Byron beckoned me to
walk next to him. All five of my family members grouped together,
but we had no closeness or unity.
“ Be polite to the guests,”
Opa said under his breath. “And let’s hope this is over as quickly
as possible.”
“ This is supposed to be
special,” I blurted in surprise.
He turned his head to glare at me.
“There is nothing special about this exposure.”
“ Mémère would have liked
it,” Nathan insisted, and I felt grateful for the support,
particularly when the scorn coming from Jeremy’s direction was
enough to last me a lifetime.
“ It’s about time you all
faced up to the fact she’s gone,” Opa said bitterly before speeding
up to speak to Jeremy alone.
Nathan and Byron exchanged glances that
seemed to say they knew what the other was thinking. Walking
between them, I was left out, yet again.
The tension only increased at
home. The people, our neighbours, all wanted to nose about and see
how we lived. And we put ourselves on show. For what? I had no
idea. I didn’t have much time to consider it because Opa demanded
an audience with all
stare at him. Why wasn’t he happy to see me? The memorial service
began, and I tried to pay attention to the stories told, but I
couldn’t because I was confused. I couldn’t ignore the man who’d
taken care of me as a father for all of those years, though he
didn’t seem to be that man anymore. He didn’t even look the same.
His ordinarily short silver hair had grown long. His beard was
almost beyond the irritatingly scratchy stage. But it was his eyes
that got to me. They had no depth, no feeling and were blank,
bloodshot eyes which took us in as if he didn’t recognise us. I
barely controlled the shiver that ran through my body. What had
happened to us?
In the end, I managed to listen to some
of the stories, feeling a certain kind of unexpected bliss at the
idea my grandmother wouldn’t be easily forgotten by other people
besides myself. Afterward, most of us took all of the vibrant
plants that decorated the room to the graveyard. I was glad to see
Abbi didn’t join us. The fact that she was friends with Dawn was
all the reason I needed to be glad. I would never forget how they
treated me on my first day at school.
On the way to the graveyard, I heard
some “old biddies,” as Perdita called them, openly mock us for the
“performance,” but I didn’t care. They meant nothing to me. They
couldn’t hurt me.
My family could.
I tried to take my grandfather’s
hand, a movement I’d made a million times before, but he shrugged
me off and edged away, leaving me feeling as though a bucket of
ice-cold water had been thrown all over me. I tried to speak to
Nathan, but he brushed me off as well, tightening up with a rage I
couldn’t explain. Tired of everyone, I stuck by Perdita, who seemed
as annoyed by Nathan as I was. I liked that about her. She could
still be bothered by him, and she didn’t automatically run after
him when he acted like a… like a… werewolf .
My grandmother had been too submissive
on the rare occasion Opa was being unreasonable. She’d give in
without a fuss and wait for the sweetness and light to come back. I
had always assumed her easy forgiveness was a symptom of the curse.
Now I wasn’t so sure. Then again, I wasn’t sure of anything
anymore. The uncertainty seemed to clog my pores, making it hard
for me to follow through on a thought.
Perdita still managed to irritate me,
putting on her sceptical face when I mentioned leaving flowers on
old graves. I didn’t want to be forgotten; why would anyone else?
It bothered me that she still had that narrow-minded reaction to
anything new, despite everything that had happened. She would see
so much more to life if she could open her mind. I supposed I
should have gone easier on her. After all, something supernatural
was going to kill her before her time. Maybe her denying what was
out there helped her cope.
On the way back, Byron beckoned me to
walk next to him. All five of my family members grouped together,
but we had no closeness or unity.
“ Be polite to the guests,”
Opa said under his breath. “And let’s hope this is over as quickly
as possible.”
“ This is supposed to be
special,” I blurted in surprise.
He turned his head to glare at me.
“There is nothing special about this exposure.”
“ Mémère would have liked
it,” Nathan insisted, and I felt grateful for the support,
particularly when the scorn coming from Jeremy’s direction was
enough to last me a lifetime.
“ It’s about time you all
faced up to the fact she’s gone,” Opa said bitterly before speeding
up to speak to Jeremy alone.
Nathan and Byron exchanged glances that
seemed to say they knew what the other was thinking. Walking
between them, I was left out, yet again.
The tension only increased at
home. The people, our neighbours, all wanted to nose about and see
how we lived. And we put ourselves on show. For what? I had no
idea. I didn’t have much time to consider it because Opa demanded
an audience with all
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