Read Online Action: A Book About Sex by Amy Rose Spiegel - Free Book Online
Authors: Amy Rose Spiegel
Ads: Link
bone him, I make a habit of enjoying this miniature-personal-history-style introduction regardless of from whom I’m extricating it. A few days later, our mutual friend ran into the person I had spoken with, and my pal told me that the latter effused, “Amy Rose was THE BEST!” I couldn’t remember having performed any particularly dazzling feat and am also an occasional ham sandwich, so I asked why he had seen fit to indirectly make my day. “He’s been hanging with all his tightest old friends all week, but you’re the only person who asked him how he was and concentrated on the answer.” I glowed to my furthest corners at hearing this… and wasn’t too sad for that guy, because I’m sure none of his long-standing friends meant to slight him, plus, he did get asked by somebody in the end! It was cheering to have been that person.
There are all kinds of variants on this informal model for demonstrating sincere curiosity about a person, too. I’m reluctant to link attraction and career work, because that assigns sexual value to something that can be pretty mechanical and/or bureaucratic, but if you’re not as precious about this, another version of the aforementioned question is, “What are you working on lately?” You can—and should—specify that you don’t necessarily mean within a profession : I do this by leading, “Man, it’s so nice to beout of the house tonight—I’ve been so focused on this one heroic couplet [insert your own less revolting priorities here!].” Then fire off the above question, having left room that can be filled by your interest’s non-vocational pursuits. Also useful: “How do you know the host?” “Are you familiar with this band/artist/whatever?” “How did you get involved with [whatever you’re both doing]?” As long as your prompt cannot be successfully met with the word “yes” or “no,” you’re doing a valiant job at this.
Kid around about a person’s answers whenever you can—being funny or at least playful works muscularly in the favor of getting you laid—but most important is taking in what a person is saying to you in response instead of inwardly composing the witticisms you’re about to lob back. What is even the point of talking to others if you’re just concerned about what comes out of you next? Conversation should be allowed to race along directionlessly, and that’s unlikely to happen if anybody’s overthinking it. Stick to general questions with personalized answers, then ditch the script. Act under the thought that you do want to hear what the person has to say, without expectation. And mean it, as much for your sake as for theirs! They might, after all, say something that changes your mind about their boneability. But let’s continue as though this is a negligible potential outcome. (If it is: Treat yourself with the same regard, affection, and attention you would someone else, and respect your feelings—just because you established this flirtation-station doesn’t mean you have to see it through.)
After you charm in your singular, polite way, disappear for a moment. Dip to the bar, bathroom, or another conversation to allow your intentioned brain/body-latcher the pleasure of seeking you. You know how when you have a crush, it’s your captor? When you like or want to get with somebody, you feel this churning happy bereft desperation: THAT PERSON EXISTS, AND I NEED THEM NEAR ME SO I CAN AFFIX MYSELF TO THEM EITHER PHYSICALLY OR BY LATCHING BRAINS. That feeling is what life is for. At its core, it’s ambition , which isborne of a lack of something—or someone. Let the other person cultivate the insistent lack of your knowing each other, whether the capacity in which that’ll be is to be “casual” (read: orgasm-related) or more sustained, in tandem with you.
Okay! Let’s say all’s swell, you’ve hung out and established a mutual attraction, and are now hoping to abscond to the bone zone (wherever that may be for
There are all kinds of variants on this informal model for demonstrating sincere curiosity about a person, too. I’m reluctant to link attraction and career work, because that assigns sexual value to something that can be pretty mechanical and/or bureaucratic, but if you’re not as precious about this, another version of the aforementioned question is, “What are you working on lately?” You can—and should—specify that you don’t necessarily mean within a profession : I do this by leading, “Man, it’s so nice to beout of the house tonight—I’ve been so focused on this one heroic couplet [insert your own less revolting priorities here!].” Then fire off the above question, having left room that can be filled by your interest’s non-vocational pursuits. Also useful: “How do you know the host?” “Are you familiar with this band/artist/whatever?” “How did you get involved with [whatever you’re both doing]?” As long as your prompt cannot be successfully met with the word “yes” or “no,” you’re doing a valiant job at this.
Kid around about a person’s answers whenever you can—being funny or at least playful works muscularly in the favor of getting you laid—but most important is taking in what a person is saying to you in response instead of inwardly composing the witticisms you’re about to lob back. What is even the point of talking to others if you’re just concerned about what comes out of you next? Conversation should be allowed to race along directionlessly, and that’s unlikely to happen if anybody’s overthinking it. Stick to general questions with personalized answers, then ditch the script. Act under the thought that you do want to hear what the person has to say, without expectation. And mean it, as much for your sake as for theirs! They might, after all, say something that changes your mind about their boneability. But let’s continue as though this is a negligible potential outcome. (If it is: Treat yourself with the same regard, affection, and attention you would someone else, and respect your feelings—just because you established this flirtation-station doesn’t mean you have to see it through.)
After you charm in your singular, polite way, disappear for a moment. Dip to the bar, bathroom, or another conversation to allow your intentioned brain/body-latcher the pleasure of seeking you. You know how when you have a crush, it’s your captor? When you like or want to get with somebody, you feel this churning happy bereft desperation: THAT PERSON EXISTS, AND I NEED THEM NEAR ME SO I CAN AFFIX MYSELF TO THEM EITHER PHYSICALLY OR BY LATCHING BRAINS. That feeling is what life is for. At its core, it’s ambition , which isborne of a lack of something—or someone. Let the other person cultivate the insistent lack of your knowing each other, whether the capacity in which that’ll be is to be “casual” (read: orgasm-related) or more sustained, in tandem with you.
Okay! Let’s say all’s swell, you’ve hung out and established a mutual attraction, and are now hoping to abscond to the bone zone (wherever that may be for
Similar Books
