Read Online Ache for You (Trapped in Three Hill Book 1) by Nancy Beaudet - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Nancy Beaudet
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haven’t done laundry in a while.
I tie it around my hips and wipe steam away from my damaged reflection. I blink. I could be going crazy.
That would be cool. It would be something new. Mal, the golden boy, forced to chain himself against white padded walls.
My bathroom is small, so I don't have to take more than a step or two to get right out. I wait for a moment or two before heading back down the hall. Not bothering to turn back towards an empty shower expecting to find my soul. Something in there was comforting though and for half a second I felt even more alone.
I felt the turmoil, and I do not think that it was my own.
I need to get dressed. I should go to school. Pretend to care about the real world. It didn't stop when I lost Flo and I feel like that makes every other human undeniably shallow. Everyone should be highly aware of the pain flushing through my body and pushing at my skull. If I'm miserable, I want everyone else to be as well.
I swagger into the hall and down to my bedroom. It’s small but dark. I always keep the curtains closed now.
The sunlight hurts my soul. Also, I'm an asshole, and I like to brood. I cannot brood amongst the sun’s healthy glow.
I grab some grey underwear and drop my towel, tucking my junk away before grabbing for a pair of black jeans. Shirt? I have always been vain and shallow. My body is the result of working out and eating well. I look at it now and feel nothing but guilt. Did you feel bad about yourself because I was such an asshole? You always thought I was hot, and I am sure you would be drooling right now, Flo. But I know that me always liking the super skinny girls annoyed you.
You didn't always feel good about yourself and my being such a vain jackass was a sore spot for you.
I liked my body. I went by looks alone. You thought I was giving you a dig when I made a comment about someone eating too much junk food. That's not true. I would happily lick whip cream and cookie crumbs off of you. I loved you for you.
Did you secretly love me as well?
I pull on a hoodie and skip throwing on a shirt. I roll some pit stick under my arms and head downstairs. Two steps at a time.
The door to the bathroom has closed itself. Oh well. It's still empty in my living room. I didn't lock the door behind me last night, and I don't lock it now. Grabbing my car keys, I head out into the cold. It's grey out. I look up at the clouds before turning back around.
My eyes find my bedroom window. For a second the curtain is no longer closed and for a second I think I see you looking out. Brown eyes. Dark green hair. Sourpuss mouth. God, wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t just make everything worthwhile?
I start to smile without meaning to. The odd feeling drags my mouth back down. I don’t see you. That's not possible. I turn back around.
I don’t need to drive. I live within walking distance of the actual college but walking right now would mean thinking and going over what may or may not have happened a few minutes ago. It would only give me time to feel bad about myself.
Do you remember the first time that we made out? Ha. Of course you do. You always were a dirty girl. It was so easy to make you smile. You could light up the entire world. All I had to do was touch you. Get you alone, it was so easy to get you under my control. Pinning you against a wall or corning you in your bedroom.
I miss kissing you. I miss getting that first taste of you when your whole body just went wild. It was like
I tie it around my hips and wipe steam away from my damaged reflection. I blink. I could be going crazy.
That would be cool. It would be something new. Mal, the golden boy, forced to chain himself against white padded walls.
My bathroom is small, so I don't have to take more than a step or two to get right out. I wait for a moment or two before heading back down the hall. Not bothering to turn back towards an empty shower expecting to find my soul. Something in there was comforting though and for half a second I felt even more alone.
I felt the turmoil, and I do not think that it was my own.
I need to get dressed. I should go to school. Pretend to care about the real world. It didn't stop when I lost Flo and I feel like that makes every other human undeniably shallow. Everyone should be highly aware of the pain flushing through my body and pushing at my skull. If I'm miserable, I want everyone else to be as well.
I swagger into the hall and down to my bedroom. It’s small but dark. I always keep the curtains closed now.
The sunlight hurts my soul. Also, I'm an asshole, and I like to brood. I cannot brood amongst the sun’s healthy glow.
I grab some grey underwear and drop my towel, tucking my junk away before grabbing for a pair of black jeans. Shirt? I have always been vain and shallow. My body is the result of working out and eating well. I look at it now and feel nothing but guilt. Did you feel bad about yourself because I was such an asshole? You always thought I was hot, and I am sure you would be drooling right now, Flo. But I know that me always liking the super skinny girls annoyed you.
You didn't always feel good about yourself and my being such a vain jackass was a sore spot for you.
I liked my body. I went by looks alone. You thought I was giving you a dig when I made a comment about someone eating too much junk food. That's not true. I would happily lick whip cream and cookie crumbs off of you. I loved you for you.
Did you secretly love me as well?
I pull on a hoodie and skip throwing on a shirt. I roll some pit stick under my arms and head downstairs. Two steps at a time.
The door to the bathroom has closed itself. Oh well. It's still empty in my living room. I didn't lock the door behind me last night, and I don't lock it now. Grabbing my car keys, I head out into the cold. It's grey out. I look up at the clouds before turning back around.
My eyes find my bedroom window. For a second the curtain is no longer closed and for a second I think I see you looking out. Brown eyes. Dark green hair. Sourpuss mouth. God, wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t just make everything worthwhile?
I start to smile without meaning to. The odd feeling drags my mouth back down. I don’t see you. That's not possible. I turn back around.
I don’t need to drive. I live within walking distance of the actual college but walking right now would mean thinking and going over what may or may not have happened a few minutes ago. It would only give me time to feel bad about myself.
Do you remember the first time that we made out? Ha. Of course you do. You always were a dirty girl. It was so easy to make you smile. You could light up the entire world. All I had to do was touch you. Get you alone, it was so easy to get you under my control. Pinning you against a wall or corning you in your bedroom.
I miss kissing you. I miss getting that first taste of you when your whole body just went wild. It was like
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