Read Online A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah - Free Book Online Page A

satisfyingly. “ I must not glance down the girls’ tops and rub one out in the staff toilet at break time .”
    â€œWet break,” I say.
    Mal laughs and points at me. “You’re a funny lad!”
    I laugh myself and bask in the glory. Try desperately to think of something else funny to back it up with, but nothing comes.
    Kelvin’s still standing, leaning against the door frame and nursing his can of Coke. He laughs a gurgly laugh. “ I must not ever let anyone get away with anything!”
    The laughter expires, and Mal sets about twisting and mashing up the machine-made cigarette, emptying its contents into the fresh flat paper, before crumbling gear carefully and fairly up and down it.
    â€œSo what’s this about your dad then?” says Mal.
    â€œOh, he died of cancer when I was six.”
    â€œAh, man, really?”
    â€œYeah, that’s kind of why I did it, because I knew he wouldn’t want to push it too far.”
    â€œAh, mate,” says Kelvin, frowning. “That’s well low.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œIt’s well sick, using your dad like that.”
    â€œIs it?”
    â€œNo, it’s not, man; it’s genius,” says Mal, compacting the mix and rolling the loaded skin back and forth in his fingertips.
    â€œAh, no, not my style,” says Kelvin, crouching down in the doorway and eyeing the joint with increasing nervousness.
    â€œThe dad thing makes you untouchable. And, you know, it’s a shitty thing to happen to anyone, so if you can make it work for you, I think that’s a smart thing to do. It’s not like you haven’t earned it, is it?”
    Mal dabs a piece of cardboard from the cigarette packet into the skin as a roach.
    â€œSo what about you then?” Kelvin asks Mal. “What made your dad and mum come down here?”
    â€œThe old man got reassigned to a new parish.”
    â€œYour old man’s a vicar?” says Kelvin.
    Mal doesn’t answer but pulls a sarcastic face, like the question is beneath contempt.
    â€œWow, that must be really interesting,” says Kelvin.
    â€œYeah? Why’s that then?”
    â€œI don’t know,” says Kelvin, a little unsettled. “All the confessions he’ll get to hear or whatever.”
    â€œSounds like you already know all there is to know about it.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œConfession is just Catholics, I think,” I say quietly.
    â€œOh. Is that different from…” He peters out.
    â€œSo have you moved around a lot then?” I ask.
    â€œYeah, following the old man’s mission,” Mal says moodily. He looks up at me. “Do you want to swap dads?”
    I meet his gaze briefly.
    This is Mal all over. He’s not afraid to go there.
    I laugh ruefully. “No, you’re all right.”
    â€œAnd now from the glorious north down to this shit hole,” he says, stretching and yawning.
    â€œDo you miss being up there, then?” says Kelvin.
    Just when I think he couldn’t ask a dumber question.
    I’m definitely a bit pissed.
    â€œI’ll miss the parties,” says Mal.
    â€œWhat did you get for your exams?” asks Kelvin.
    â€œEleven A’s.”
    â€œBullshit.”
    â€œYep.”
    â€œ Eleven? ”
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œFucking hell!” Kelvin looks at me with moronic enthusiasm. “I only got one A, and I only did ten exams.”
    Mal shrugs, making his leather jacket creak. “It’s not hard to get all A’s if all you want to do is get all A’s… Just learn how they want you to learn, predict how they’re going to ask the questions. It’s no big secret, is it? But I’m like, fuck it. Not interested. Don’t want no tests no more.”
    â€œBut you’re doing your A levels.”
    â€œNo tests no more.”
    â€œAre you going to quit then?”
    â€œI haven’t decided. I was thinking