Read Online A Talent for Murder by R.T. Jordan - Free Book Online

never been accused of killing anything more than an orchid.”
    Polly took a sip from her glass. “I mean, people believe what they
think
they see.”
    “Body. Blood. Weapon. Do the math,” Tim said.
    Placenta considered Tim’s comment for a moment. She looked at Polly. “With me as the lone exception, most servants have Sundays off. I wonder what this maid person was doing letting herself into Thane’s house on the Sabbath?”
    “Perhaps she lived in,” Polly said.
    “Maybe she hated her boss, poked him with the shiv, then waited for someone else to show up so that she could point her finger,” Tim said as he uncorked another bottle of champagne. “Call Richard Dartmouth to offer your condolences. If you don’t comfort him, I will.”
    Like everybody else in the world, when it came to expressing the depth of her sadness—genuine or not—over another’s loss, Polly felt ill-equipped and therefore procrastinated making such calls. However, Placenta punched the numbers on the telephone keypad and pushed the handset toward Polly. Before she could finish another fortifying sip of Veuve, Richard answered.
    “Dear, dear Richard, you must be devastated,” Pollycooed into the microphone. After a beat she said, “It’s me.” She waited another beat and answered, “Um, Polly.” She rolled her eyes. “Pepper. Thank God you’re pretty, you silly man. Oh, you must be wracked with grief and guilt! No, of course I didn’t mean
guilt
guilt. Only that you must feel a wee bit awkward having sent Lisa Marrs to Thane’s house at the least opportune time.” Polly covered the mouthpiece and whispered, “He’s awfully defensive!” She continued. “Is there anything I can have Tim or Placenta do for you? Now tell me, exactly what happened? Why did Lisa murder Thane? What was her motive? Self-defense of course! Does she have a history of going wacko? Who will replace the inimitable Thane Cornwall on the show?”
    During the time she and Richard spent on the phone, Placenta refilled Polly’s glass twice. When Polly finally ended the conversation and disconnected the line, she said, “We dodged that bullet!”
    “Bullet?” Tim said, pouring still another flute of champagne for his mother and himself.
    “We’ve escaped having to go to Thane’s funeral. He’s being cremated, and apparently nobody wants to host a memorial service.”
    “You don’t sound very sympathetic,” Placenta snorted. “A colleague has been murdered. It could have been you!”
    “Nonsense! Everybody and his dog adores Polly Pepper,” the star said. “Anyway, you know I loathe funerals. Except my own. I mean the one that Tim, the most brilliant party planner in Bel Air, will create for me when the time comes. A long way off to be sure. Don’t forget the sobbing orphan children, skywriting, baying wolves, and bagpipes playing ‘Pavane for a Dead Princess.’ Also, I’ve been thinking about producing a farewell video on YouTube. I want darling NancyMeyers to direct. And Diane Keaton must do the voice-over!”
    Tim kicked off his shoes and flopped onto the sofa, his legs resting on top of the coffee table. “So, what else did Richard have to say? He kept you on the line long enough.”
    “The dear does go on and on. People in grief tend to be thrilled that I call and patiently listen as they unburden themselves. It’s one of my many natural talents. Curiously, he seemed more upset about having to break in a new assistant. Oh, and as far as Richard and the police are concerned, it’s an open-and-shut case against Lisa.”
    Tim and Placenta became quiet. “Apparently, Lisa and Thane had been secret lovers, but he broke off the relationship just last night—”
    Placenta interrupted. “So when Lisa went to his house, she probably begged for him to take her back. And when he wouldn’t, she slashed him to bloody ribbons.”
    Polly looked at Placenta. “Do I do maid-type things? Then perhaps you’ll let me tell the showbiz murder