Read Online A Tale of Two Vampires by Katie MacAlister - Free Book Online
Authors: Katie MacAlister
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greatly disturbed him. “Do you deny that you have put a spell on me?”
“What is with you people? Yes, I deny it!” Io slapped her hands on her thighs, a thought that sent his brain on a little mental trip that ended up with him clearing his throat and hoping the witch prostitute would not look toward his groin. “And you can just stop that right now, too,” she added.
“Stop what?” He wanted nothing more than to pounce on her, he really did, but he was never one to allow his sexual needs to drive his actions, and he’d be damned if he started now.
He smiled at the irony at the fact that he was already damned. What could a little more damnation hurt?
“That.” Io pointed at his crotch. “You’re getting all bulgy, and I resent your penis’s implication that I’m doing something to arouse you. Unless you’re some sort of weirdo who gets off by women saying the word ‘penis,’ which is frankly kinda sad.”
“Baron, you must stop her from speaking! It is the devil’s words that come out of her mouth!” Frau Leiven hurried around the bed to stand behind it, clapping her hands over Imogen’s ears. “She will bespell us all!”
“Baron?” Io stopped glaring at his admittedly bulgy breeches and glanced up at him. “I thought you said your name was Nikola.”
“It is. I am also a baron. Frau Leiven, if you do not cease squawking, I will have you put out of the castle. Imogen, go to your room. This conversation is not suitable for you.”
“Wow, a real baron? Not one of those mall kinds that you become when you buy a square foot of land— Imogen ?”
“But, Papa—”
“Leave!” he commanded, feeling that if there were fewer people in the room, he could get about to seducing the woman properly.
His mind did a double take. Chastising her, he corrected to himself, despite the nagging suspicion that the first would be infinitely more enjoyable.
Io got to her feet and turned around, gawking in surprise. “Imogen, it is you. Nice to see you again. What happened to me? I seem to be a bit wonky in the brain. I remember doing…something…but just can’t pin down exactly what.”
“You know my daughter?” he asked, frowning first at Imogen, then at Frau Leiven. “You allowed Imogen to consort with whores?”
“No, Papa—” Imogen started to say, but Io interrupted her.
“Whore?” she bellowed, then immediately slapped both hands to her head, weaving with pain. “Oh my god, someone get me some ibuprofen. I think my head is going to explode.”
He helped her to sit back down on the bed, his body warring with his mind. “I do not know who Ibuprofen is, but if he is another of your lovers, I will have to adjust my equation.”
“What equation? No, wait, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care if you’re the king or emperor or whatever they have here in Austria now—you do not get to call me rude names.” Io stood up again, weaving only slightly before she squared her shoulders and shot him a look that should have enraged him, but simply went straight to his groin.
He really was getting a little tired of everything about her making his rod stiff with need and desire and wanting that all but left his tongue cleaving to the roof of his mouth.
She must be the best prostitute in the world if she could do all that without so much as touching him.
“If you don’t mind,” she said, trying to brush past him, “I’m going home. Or rather, I’m going to go to my cousin’s home. You guys can just continue on with your oddball ways without me. Imogen…hell, I don’t know what to say to you. I guess I’ll just keep mum to Gretl about the fact that you evidently have some…did you say daughter? Imogen is your daughter?” Io looked startled when she turned to face Imogen again. “You told me your dad was dead. Although your brother said he wasn’t, but I kind of figured he was a little light in the noggin since he also said he was some sort of a vampire.”
Everyone in the room
“What is with you people? Yes, I deny it!” Io slapped her hands on her thighs, a thought that sent his brain on a little mental trip that ended up with him clearing his throat and hoping the witch prostitute would not look toward his groin. “And you can just stop that right now, too,” she added.
“Stop what?” He wanted nothing more than to pounce on her, he really did, but he was never one to allow his sexual needs to drive his actions, and he’d be damned if he started now.
He smiled at the irony at the fact that he was already damned. What could a little more damnation hurt?
“That.” Io pointed at his crotch. “You’re getting all bulgy, and I resent your penis’s implication that I’m doing something to arouse you. Unless you’re some sort of weirdo who gets off by women saying the word ‘penis,’ which is frankly kinda sad.”
“Baron, you must stop her from speaking! It is the devil’s words that come out of her mouth!” Frau Leiven hurried around the bed to stand behind it, clapping her hands over Imogen’s ears. “She will bespell us all!”
“Baron?” Io stopped glaring at his admittedly bulgy breeches and glanced up at him. “I thought you said your name was Nikola.”
“It is. I am also a baron. Frau Leiven, if you do not cease squawking, I will have you put out of the castle. Imogen, go to your room. This conversation is not suitable for you.”
“Wow, a real baron? Not one of those mall kinds that you become when you buy a square foot of land— Imogen ?”
“But, Papa—”
“Leave!” he commanded, feeling that if there were fewer people in the room, he could get about to seducing the woman properly.
His mind did a double take. Chastising her, he corrected to himself, despite the nagging suspicion that the first would be infinitely more enjoyable.
Io got to her feet and turned around, gawking in surprise. “Imogen, it is you. Nice to see you again. What happened to me? I seem to be a bit wonky in the brain. I remember doing…something…but just can’t pin down exactly what.”
“You know my daughter?” he asked, frowning first at Imogen, then at Frau Leiven. “You allowed Imogen to consort with whores?”
“No, Papa—” Imogen started to say, but Io interrupted her.
“Whore?” she bellowed, then immediately slapped both hands to her head, weaving with pain. “Oh my god, someone get me some ibuprofen. I think my head is going to explode.”
He helped her to sit back down on the bed, his body warring with his mind. “I do not know who Ibuprofen is, but if he is another of your lovers, I will have to adjust my equation.”
“What equation? No, wait, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care if you’re the king or emperor or whatever they have here in Austria now—you do not get to call me rude names.” Io stood up again, weaving only slightly before she squared her shoulders and shot him a look that should have enraged him, but simply went straight to his groin.
He really was getting a little tired of everything about her making his rod stiff with need and desire and wanting that all but left his tongue cleaving to the roof of his mouth.
She must be the best prostitute in the world if she could do all that without so much as touching him.
“If you don’t mind,” she said, trying to brush past him, “I’m going home. Or rather, I’m going to go to my cousin’s home. You guys can just continue on with your oddball ways without me. Imogen…hell, I don’t know what to say to you. I guess I’ll just keep mum to Gretl about the fact that you evidently have some…did you say daughter? Imogen is your daughter?” Io looked startled when she turned to face Imogen again. “You told me your dad was dead. Although your brother said he wasn’t, but I kind of figured he was a little light in the noggin since he also said he was some sort of a vampire.”
Everyone in the room
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