Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction

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Authors: Amy Metz
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you’ll use it and won’t let it languish in the bottom of that purse.”
    When they reached the bookstore several minutes later, Tess thanked him again for the flowers, and Jack walked off down the sidewalk, as she went into the store.
    Pickle was just inside the entryway, wearing a T-shirt with a bowl of cereal and spoon on the front. The shirt said, “Cereal Killer.”
    “ Morning, Pickle,” she said, very aware she was going to have to get used to dropping her ‘g’s’ at the end of words. She was beginning to feel like a foreigner. “I see you’re hard at work again putting books on the shelf. Is Lou around?” Walking over to the register desk, she put the vase of hydrangeas down.
    “ Oh, she’s over to the diner, but she’ll be right back . . . oap . . . here she is now.”
    Lou came in bustling with energy, in a bright, hot pink dress and big hair perfectly in place. “I’m so mad I could chew up nails and spit out a barbed wire fence.”
    Pickle stooped down and picked up several books out of a box. “Im'a workin’, Miss Lou, I ain’t a lolligaggin’,” he said in an apologetic tone.
    “ Oh, Peekal, I ain’t mad at you, honey.” She made a face to Tess and said in a whisper, “If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a June bug, bless his heart.” Louder, so Pickle could hear, she said, “You go on about yer work and keep an eye out for customers at the reg’ster. Tessie and I have some jawin’ to do.”
    She led Tess back to the office by the arm and immediately started throwing questions at her. “Are you awright honey? I was just up to the diner and heard about yesterday, but John Ed wouldn’t tell me a goll-dern thing. That man’s as full of wind as a corn-eatin’ horse. I don’t give two hoots and a holler if it’s ‘ Official bidness ,’ I wanna know what happened. You had an intruder last night?” Her voice rose to a fever pitch. “I’ll bet you were just about frightened out a your skivvies. And you bein’ alone and all . . . that’s no way to treat somebody, let alone our town’s newbie.”
    “ Lou, I’m fine . . . “ when Lou’s eyebrows went up in question, Tess added, “ . . . really. I was a little shook up last night, I’ll admit. But Jack helped me put everything back together reasonably well, and I don’t think anything was taken.”
    “ Oh Jack did, did he?” Lou leaned forward, eager to hear some gossip.
    “ It’s nothing like that, Lou.”
    “ Well, shoot.” She went back to the subject at hand. “I just can’t believe it happened. Some people’s got grits for brains. I’m so glad you’re awright. John Ed wouldn’t tell me much, the old coot, but it didn’t sound like there was gonna be much of an investigation. Makes me embarrassed on account a the whole town.”
    “ Why don’t we put it behind us and get to work?” Tess opened the door to find Pickle stepping back quickly, then busying himself straightening some books nearby.
    Lou saw him, too. “Peekal, get your straw out of my Kool-Aid.”
    Tess turned with a puzzled expression, and Lou whispered, “It means mind your own bidness.” She punctuated the sentence with a firm nod of her head.
    “ Peekal, I’m gonna be on you like white on rice if I ever see your ear up to my door again,” she hollered.
    Pickle turned scarlet all the way to the tips of his ears and mumbled, “Yes ma’am,” before loping off across the store, obviously trying to put as much distance between Lou and himself as he could.
    Th e rest of the morning was quiet with not many customers. Around mid-day the mayor came into the store. His short, dark hair was just beginning to grey at the edge of his face, making him distinguished looking. Every time Tess saw him he was in a coat and tie. He stood about five feet ten, and was extremely thin. He wore tortoise shell preppy glasses, and when he smiled, his bright, white teeth were prominent on his face.
    “ Hello, Mayor, nice to see you

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