Read Online A Single Girl's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse by JT Clay - Free Book Online

another teacher checked on her class. She hoped that she wouldn’t get sick pretending to be sick. This weekend was too important.
    There was also an undercurrent in the class. Five kids were away, which should have left Q with the elusive prize Mrs Mason always dreamt about – the perfect class size. But this was no perfect class. Tania cried. Ben and Bry-Bry got into a fight. Greg ate a whole yellow crayon, which was bizarre, because he usually stuck to the green ones.
    â€œIt’s like they sense something coming,” Q said. “Their primitive instincts are picking up on signs we can’t detect.”
    â€œYou do know they’re kids, right?” Hannah said.
    â€œWhat’s your point?”
    Hannah drew jagged red lightning bolts onto her picture. “They’re probably annoyed because you’re skipping school tomorrow,” she said.
    Q burst into another fit of fake coughing to drown out her young friend’s words. With her cough-roughened throat, it turned into a real fit of coughing. Almost breathless, she hissed at Hannah. “Who have you told?”
    Hannah switched to markers and colored in the sky. “No one. What kind of friend do you think I am?” The sky grew black. It wasn’t her usual cheery scene at all.
    â€œLighten up, Hannah Banana,” Q said. “At least you’re only a Kindy Koala. If you were a real koala, you’d have to worry about death by cow.”
    Hannah did not laugh. She played with her half of the Best Friends necklace hanging around her throat. “ And you canceled Lethal Littlies this week,” she said.
    â€œI’ve had stuff on,” Q said. “Important stuff.” Hannah remained impassive. “Next Monday I’ll let you put Tina in a headlock,” Q said.
    Hannah gave a half-smile. “Really?”
    â€œSure.” Q pulled a package out of her bag. “And I got you a present.”
    Hannah took it, delighted, then hesitated. “This doesn’t mean you get to skip out whenever you want,” she said.
    â€œOpen it.”
    Hannah unwrapped the parcel with care, peeling off the sticky tape gently and carefully folding the paper as she went. Inside was a slim gray box.
    â€œWow!” said Hannah. “A new phone! Is it the Gwendolyn III from TV?” She opened the box and took out a large black phone. Her face fell.
    Q grabbed it. “It’s a satellite hotphone!” she said. “It’s got this wind-up recharger, see, so you’ll never be out of batteries. It gets coverage anywhere in the world, even under water! It’s like having a walkie-talkie, but cooler.”
    â€œWhat’s a walkie-talkie?”
    Q pondered. “An old-fashioned way of making calls. Like using strings and cans.” She pulled a matching phone from her cargo pants pocket and held the twin models together. “They can only call each other. They’re best friends, just like us.”
    Hannah took the phone and examined it. “I can’t call anyone else?” she said.
    â€œWho else would you want to talk to?” Q had saved the best for last. “And I decorated them, see? Tiger ninjas. Yours are pink.”
    Hannah ran her fingers over the stickers and grinned.
    â€œSo we’re okay?” Q said.
    â€œSure,” said Hannah, inspecting the phone’s features. “I guess I can call you tomorrow if I need you.”
    â€œExactly,” Q said. “Besides, I’ll only be gone for three days. What could go wrong?”
    *
    Don’t be weird, don’t be weird, don’t be weird.
    Q’s father was giving her a lift to the station to meet the no-meat retreat. She was using her last few minutes of relative solitude to psych herself up. She had a window of opportunity in which to charm the pants off Rabbit before he got to know her and found out she was a paranoid, aggressive, kindergarten teacher’s assistant who could throw