My mind remembers what itâs like to be asleep but not asleep. My body recalls the way my muscles wouldnâtâcouldnâtâmove. My heart will never forget what itâs like to fade in and out of time, to never know if one year or a thousand have passed by, to torture yourself with the idea of your soul trapped behind ice for all eternity.
I know what torture there is behind ice.
Behind the glass window in the cryo tube, I can see the red veins popping in Orionâs eyes. I imagine myself mirrored in his pupils, but heâs blind. His hand is pressed against the tiny window in the cryo freezing tube. For a moment, I place my warm, living hand over his. Then I glance at his eyes and snatch my hand away.
In my other hand, I still hold the small floppy thing I found in the Recorder Hall. I look at the handprint I left on the glass in front of Orionâs face, then back at the box on the screen and the words across it: RESTRICTED ACCESS . Some information on the floppy network is restrictedâElder has to use his thumbprint, like on the biometric scanner, to unlock it. I doubt my thumbprint will be enough, but . . .
I press my thumb against the glowing box.
The entire screen lights up.
And I find myself looking into Orionâs face.
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On the screen, Orion looks exactly as I remember him just before he was frozen: unkempt dark hair that could do with a wash, eyes that seem oddly kind given his quickness to kill, and an easygoing, friendly curve of his lips that belies the lines in his face. He sits on the bottom of a staircase so large that it extends past him well out of view, up and up. Iâve never seen that staircase before, a fact I find oddly comforting. I like that there are still some things about
Godspeed
I donât know.
The image wobbles as Orion adjusts the camera.
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ORION: If youâre seeing this, then something went wrong.
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I glance up at the frozen Orion. Yeah, something went wrong. The ship is stopped, Elderâs already hiding the truth from everyone else, and I donât know how much longer we can survive.
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ORION: I hope that no one ever sees this. I hope that all went as I had planned, that Elder joined my side, and that together we defeated Eldest and started a new system of rule on
Godspeed
based not on tyranny, but on working together.
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Orion sighs heavily.
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ORION: But Iâm not certain Elderâs on my side, and I know Eldest isnât, and thereâs too much at stake to leave anything to chance. I have to have a contingency plan. And Amyâyou are my contingency plan.
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Orion turns toward me, as if he knew Iâd be a little to his left, his eyes boring into mine.
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ORION: I hope Elderâs the leader I need him to beâthat this ship needs him to be. But if he isnât and if Iâm . . . well, if I canât be there to help, all that I have left is this video and the hope that you, someone from Sol-Earth, will know what to do. I canât leave this information for just the shipborns. They donât know enough. They canât make a choice about what to do when they only know one thing. But youâAmyâyou know both the ship and a planet. You can be objective. You will know which is the greater evil. When you know all that I know, all that Eldest tried to keep hidden, then you will also know what to do.
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I stare up at frozen, immovable Orion, then glance back at the screen.
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ORION: Amy, youâre going to have to make a choice. And soon. Look around you. The Eldest system has been dying for generations. I was not the first Elder to rebel, and Elder wonât be the last. Whatever control the Eldests had before is slipping away. The ship is dying. You can see that, canât you? You can see the rust. You can see how the solar lamp isnât as bright as it should be. How the plants take longer to grow . . . if
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