for me. ” She was being a brat and knew it, but just for the moment, she wanted to sound out this idea.
“ I don ’ t know much about royalty, but I guess he ’ d have to abdicate his throne to surrender his citizenship. ”
“ Exactly. ” More grass pulling. “ And it ’ s not an option. I can ’ t be responsible for a nation losing their king. I ’ m no Wallis Simpson. ”
“ Susanna, take a moment and raise your thoughts heavenward. What is God saying to you in this juncture? ”
“ I don ’ t know. Why do you think I ’ m sitting here? I feel all jumbled up. ”
“ Because you ’ re trying to understand with your head. ” He patted his belly. “ Listen here, in your spirit to the Holy Spirit. You ’ re familiar with the biblical character Esther. ”
“ Jewish refugee in ancient Babylon. Very beautiful, married the king and became a queen. ”
“ Sound familiar? Could you be a modern-day Esther? ”
“ I don ’ t see how. My marriage to Nathaniel won ’ t likely save America from her enemies. ”
“ But your marriage to Nathaniel may save other people. You ’ ll have access to leaders the rest of us can only dream about. You are stepping onto the world stage, Susanna. Your very presence influences people. Don ’ t you see what God is doing? ”
“ Now you sound like Nathaniel. ” She peered at the reverend. “ But how can a redneck girl from Georgia be an influence? ”
He smiled. “ Maybe you ’ re exactly what the world needs. You ’ re putting limits on yourself that God is not. Want to know how I see you? A woman who makes the whole world her backyard barbecue. You make people feel warm, welcome, invited. You ’ re also a truth speaker. In all the good ways. Asyou move into the role of Nathaniel ’ s wife, you ’ re going to make royalty more accessible and therefore, in my humble opinion, make God more accessible. ”
She laughed, a bursting, scoffing sound. “ Please, Reverend. ”
“ Do you think you just stumbled into this relationship without any divine intervention? That the Lord was out to lunch when you met and fell in love with Nathaniel? You both overcame great odds to be together. Can you allow yourself to consider the idea that God is promoting you to royalty, like Esther, for such a time as this? ”
“ But I ’ m not worthy. ” She hung her head, letting her hair curtain her face.
“ Ah, there ’ s the rub. ” He bent to see her eyes. “ You ’ re making this about your worthiness instead of God ’ s. None of us are worthy. Do you think I ’ m worthy to be a reverend? To pastor His flock? ”
She raised her head, combing back her hair with her fingers. “ You ’ re a good man. ”
“ I used to be a very bad man, Susanna. You ’ ve not heard my testimony? ”
She squinted. “ I thought you went to Bible college out of high school. Never did drugs, smoked, or ran with those who did. ”
“ You ’ re right. I went to Bible college, then seminary. Waited until I was married to Bren to have sex. Never dabbled in pornography. But oh, I was jealous and envious of my fellow scholars, a gossip, judgmental. Selfish. ”
“ All right, I get it. ” She held up her hand. “ None of us are righteous. ”
“ No, not one. ” He fell silent for a long moment and his confession echoed across her mind. Then, “ Susanna, I implore you to keep your ear near His heart. He ’ ll speak to you. I understand your reserve about giving up your American citizenship. It ’ s kind of the last thing that is solely yours as you go into this marriage. But may I remind you, you are first the Bride of Christ. You ’ ve already given up everything of who you are to be married to Him. You are more than an American. You are a citizen in the kingdom of God. A princess in His household. So don ’ t put limits on yourself based on a natural citizenship when, technically, you ’ ve already given it up to be a member of a higher world—one that is and is to
“ I don ’ t know much about royalty, but I guess he ’ d have to abdicate his throne to surrender his citizenship. ”
“ Exactly. ” More grass pulling. “ And it ’ s not an option. I can ’ t be responsible for a nation losing their king. I ’ m no Wallis Simpson. ”
“ Susanna, take a moment and raise your thoughts heavenward. What is God saying to you in this juncture? ”
“ I don ’ t know. Why do you think I ’ m sitting here? I feel all jumbled up. ”
“ Because you ’ re trying to understand with your head. ” He patted his belly. “ Listen here, in your spirit to the Holy Spirit. You ’ re familiar with the biblical character Esther. ”
“ Jewish refugee in ancient Babylon. Very beautiful, married the king and became a queen. ”
“ Sound familiar? Could you be a modern-day Esther? ”
“ I don ’ t see how. My marriage to Nathaniel won ’ t likely save America from her enemies. ”
“ But your marriage to Nathaniel may save other people. You ’ ll have access to leaders the rest of us can only dream about. You are stepping onto the world stage, Susanna. Your very presence influences people. Don ’ t you see what God is doing? ”
“ Now you sound like Nathaniel. ” She peered at the reverend. “ But how can a redneck girl from Georgia be an influence? ”
He smiled. “ Maybe you ’ re exactly what the world needs. You ’ re putting limits on yourself that God is not. Want to know how I see you? A woman who makes the whole world her backyard barbecue. You make people feel warm, welcome, invited. You ’ re also a truth speaker. In all the good ways. Asyou move into the role of Nathaniel ’ s wife, you ’ re going to make royalty more accessible and therefore, in my humble opinion, make God more accessible. ”
She laughed, a bursting, scoffing sound. “ Please, Reverend. ”
“ Do you think you just stumbled into this relationship without any divine intervention? That the Lord was out to lunch when you met and fell in love with Nathaniel? You both overcame great odds to be together. Can you allow yourself to consider the idea that God is promoting you to royalty, like Esther, for such a time as this? ”
“ But I ’ m not worthy. ” She hung her head, letting her hair curtain her face.
“ Ah, there ’ s the rub. ” He bent to see her eyes. “ You ’ re making this about your worthiness instead of God ’ s. None of us are worthy. Do you think I ’ m worthy to be a reverend? To pastor His flock? ”
She raised her head, combing back her hair with her fingers. “ You ’ re a good man. ”
“ I used to be a very bad man, Susanna. You ’ ve not heard my testimony? ”
She squinted. “ I thought you went to Bible college out of high school. Never did drugs, smoked, or ran with those who did. ”
“ You ’ re right. I went to Bible college, then seminary. Waited until I was married to Bren to have sex. Never dabbled in pornography. But oh, I was jealous and envious of my fellow scholars, a gossip, judgmental. Selfish. ”
“ All right, I get it. ” She held up her hand. “ None of us are righteous. ”
“ No, not one. ” He fell silent for a long moment and his confession echoed across her mind. Then, “ Susanna, I implore you to keep your ear near His heart. He ’ ll speak to you. I understand your reserve about giving up your American citizenship. It ’ s kind of the last thing that is solely yours as you go into this marriage. But may I remind you, you are first the Bride of Christ. You ’ ve already given up everything of who you are to be married to Him. You are more than an American. You are a citizen in the kingdom of God. A princess in His household. So don ’ t put limits on yourself based on a natural citizenship when, technically, you ’ ve already given it up to be a member of a higher world—one that is and is to
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