head, the Uncleâs angry face in my mind. What would he say? And just as bad, the money, my savings that I had counted on for going home, had flown away.
Barbara brought me a glass of cold water with chips from the icebox. I gulped most of it down as I watched Maria in her high chair mimicking the face I made as I sobbed. She reminded me of Friedrich when he was a baby, mouth coated with cookie crumbs, laughingâa handful!
Iâd never see Friedrich again, never see any of them at home again.
Through the archway into the hall, the sewing machine sat on the worn rug like a huge black beetle. That was where Iâd spend the rest of my life, and it was my fault, all my own fault.
I told Barbara the story of Mrs. Koch. âHow was I to know I was in her dressing room instead of her bedroom?â
She didnât say, âYou should have known.â She didnât say, âYou shouldnât have been in Mrs. Kochâs closet anyway.â
I hadnât told her about eating a little of the jam, which Aunt Ida had suddenly realized from a bit on my chin that I hadnât noticed.
And I hadnât told her that Aunt Ida had sat in the kitchen trying to catch her breath as I watched, thinking Iâd have to send for the doctor.
âDo you know the word for
Doktor
in English?â I asked.
Barbara blinked and shook her head. âAre you that sick?â she asked.
She clucked over me the way Aunt Ida had clucked when sheâd first seen me that morning. âI would have been terrified to try on the hats,â she said, as if I had accomplished some brave feat.
I ran the cool glass over my forehead. It had been a long hot march back from Aunt Idaâs kitchen.
âWeâll take a walk,â Barbara said. âWeâll find the ice cream man and sit in the park. . . .â Already she was looking into her pocket, frowning as she pulled out a few coins.
I didnât know American money yet, but I could tell from her face it wasnât enough for all of us.
I shook my head. The coarse brown fabric was piled up on the chair in front of the machine, waiting for me. Iâd have to begin now anyway. âGo ahead,â I told her. âTake Maria.â I waved my hand at the black beetle. âIâll sew.â
To show her I meant what I said, I went into the hall, pulled out the chair, and began to pin a pattern to the fabric. I told myself Iâd have to be starving in the street to wear such a scratchy thing.
I heard a banging at the door.
Now what?
I wondered. âComing,â I called. âComing right now.â
I could hear the Uncle roar. So he had heard about what had happened. How was it he was home in the middle of the day, though?
I took a deep breath and went to the door.
The Uncle was bent over almost double, and on his back and over his head lay piles of trousers. Dozens of them.
He straightened up, the trousers sliding onto the floor. He held up his hand. âYou are nothing but trouble.â
âDonât worry,â I said. âIf I ever get money enough, I will take the ship straight back to Hamburg. And from there Iâll go to Breisach, even if I have to walk all the way.â
âAnd worse than trouble,â he muttered. âAlways with the mouth.â
I bit my lip. I remembered Mama shaking her head, telling me the same thing.
âNever mind,â said the Uncle. âNow that service is out of the question, I have taken myself to Mr. Eis, who sells trousers.â
I looked at them, a mound halfway to the ceiling.
âAll you have to do is seam them together,â he said. âIf you begin every morning and work until dinnertime, we might get a dollar a day.â
We
. He had said
we
.
I began adding in my head.
âSeventy-five cents for me,â he said, âtwenty-five for you.â
I opened my mouth. âFifty.â
âDonât forget. It is my machine, my
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