people. Maybe we were early.
"This doesn't look right.” Grandma spoke up as she looked around. “Chester, are you sure this is the right place? I don't recognize any of the houses, and I don't see any other cars."
"Oh,” he teased her, “it's just down the street this way."
Grandma and I shared a sideways look, but Aunt Virginia had already started following him so we did, too. I wondered if my poor aunt ever spoke. For that matter, I wondered if she ever had an opportunity to speak. Uncle Chester seemed to have enough to say for both of them. Generally speaking, he was generally speaking.
He turned around after every block we passed and assured us we were going in the right direction. After five blocks, I could tell Grandma was getting a little nervous and was starting to doubt her brother's memory. I'd already been doubting a great deal more than that.
"Are you sure you know where you're going?” Grandma had just about had enough guessing.
"It's only another two blocks. I just didn't want to park the car too close. We'll have an easier time getting out of the subdivision if we aren't all blocked in and waiting in line. I also hate putting that beauty in with all the other cars. I'm always afraid someone will try and take off with it."
Uncle Chester laughed heartily and then lowered his voice. “Uh, Hotdog, you may want to tell Abner there to quit walking so funny. I'm sure Chad and Richard are going to be at the party.” He rolled his eyes. “They've never passed up an opportunity to flaunt themselves ... and I don't think he'll want to give his cousins the wrong idea, especially since he doesn't have a girlfriend. It's bad enough what they do outside the family, so I think if we can avoid any additional unnecessary scenes, we should try to do so."
He gave me a piteous look and turned back around.
"Chad and Richard?” I'd never heard of these cousins. Who the hell were they, and why had Uncle Chester spoken about them with such distaste? I looked at Grandma. “What is he talking about? Flaunt what?"
"Well...” She looked uncomfortable. “...some people don't always follow in the footsteps that are best for them in life. There are a few cousins you have who will be here tonight who are like that. Sometimes...” She paused. “...they choose to ignore the morals their parents, teachers and ministers have tried to instill in them and instead go down a more ... sinful path."
"Oh.” I sighed in relief. That was no big deal! For crying out loud ... “Why didn't you just say there were going to be politicians there?"
"Um...” She and Uncle Chester exchanged wor-ried glances. “Not politicians.” Grandma let her brother and his wife get a ways ahead of us then drew me closer to her and whispered in my ear. “Homosexuals."
"In California?” Was she kidding? I'd never ac-tually thought to wonder where they lived before, but this was a bit of a surprise. What was the attraction to this state? Something else occurred to me—if they were in California, then they could be anywhere. Alaska. Hawaii. The Virgin Islands. Cincinnati. I wondered if there were any in Michigan. Did I know any? I might not have even known about my cousins if Uncle Chester hadn't said something. Shit! That meant they could also be anyone, and I might not be able to tell the difference.
"Well, what should I do?” My face suddenly felt very warm and my palms were sweating.
"For starters...” Grandma grabbed my shoulders and forced me to stand up straight. “...quit slouch-ing. I never understood why you had such bad posture."
"How about...” I stared up at the sky and then back down at her in a rather dramatic manner. “...because Uncle Chester smashed my testicles with my suitcase and then repeatedly hit bumps all the way here? I know you don't have testicles, but maybe you can imagine how that felt. I'll clue you in— painful ! It was so severe in the beginning I figured I'd have to wait a few days if I'd been planning on
"This doesn't look right.” Grandma spoke up as she looked around. “Chester, are you sure this is the right place? I don't recognize any of the houses, and I don't see any other cars."
"Oh,” he teased her, “it's just down the street this way."
Grandma and I shared a sideways look, but Aunt Virginia had already started following him so we did, too. I wondered if my poor aunt ever spoke. For that matter, I wondered if she ever had an opportunity to speak. Uncle Chester seemed to have enough to say for both of them. Generally speaking, he was generally speaking.
He turned around after every block we passed and assured us we were going in the right direction. After five blocks, I could tell Grandma was getting a little nervous and was starting to doubt her brother's memory. I'd already been doubting a great deal more than that.
"Are you sure you know where you're going?” Grandma had just about had enough guessing.
"It's only another two blocks. I just didn't want to park the car too close. We'll have an easier time getting out of the subdivision if we aren't all blocked in and waiting in line. I also hate putting that beauty in with all the other cars. I'm always afraid someone will try and take off with it."
Uncle Chester laughed heartily and then lowered his voice. “Uh, Hotdog, you may want to tell Abner there to quit walking so funny. I'm sure Chad and Richard are going to be at the party.” He rolled his eyes. “They've never passed up an opportunity to flaunt themselves ... and I don't think he'll want to give his cousins the wrong idea, especially since he doesn't have a girlfriend. It's bad enough what they do outside the family, so I think if we can avoid any additional unnecessary scenes, we should try to do so."
He gave me a piteous look and turned back around.
"Chad and Richard?” I'd never heard of these cousins. Who the hell were they, and why had Uncle Chester spoken about them with such distaste? I looked at Grandma. “What is he talking about? Flaunt what?"
"Well...” She looked uncomfortable. “...some people don't always follow in the footsteps that are best for them in life. There are a few cousins you have who will be here tonight who are like that. Sometimes...” She paused. “...they choose to ignore the morals their parents, teachers and ministers have tried to instill in them and instead go down a more ... sinful path."
"Oh.” I sighed in relief. That was no big deal! For crying out loud ... “Why didn't you just say there were going to be politicians there?"
"Um...” She and Uncle Chester exchanged wor-ried glances. “Not politicians.” Grandma let her brother and his wife get a ways ahead of us then drew me closer to her and whispered in my ear. “Homosexuals."
"In California?” Was she kidding? I'd never ac-tually thought to wonder where they lived before, but this was a bit of a surprise. What was the attraction to this state? Something else occurred to me—if they were in California, then they could be anywhere. Alaska. Hawaii. The Virgin Islands. Cincinnati. I wondered if there were any in Michigan. Did I know any? I might not have even known about my cousins if Uncle Chester hadn't said something. Shit! That meant they could also be anyone, and I might not be able to tell the difference.
"Well, what should I do?” My face suddenly felt very warm and my palms were sweating.
"For starters...” Grandma grabbed my shoulders and forced me to stand up straight. “...quit slouch-ing. I never understood why you had such bad posture."
"How about...” I stared up at the sky and then back down at her in a rather dramatic manner. “...because Uncle Chester smashed my testicles with my suitcase and then repeatedly hit bumps all the way here? I know you don't have testicles, but maybe you can imagine how that felt. I'll clue you in— painful ! It was so severe in the beginning I figured I'd have to wait a few days if I'd been planning on
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