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Authors: Jonathan Gould
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been small, modest affairs. This one clearly had to belong to someone important―perhaps someone who had been a great leader, or whose life had been spent performing wondrous deeds.
The road towards the house was blocked by a large and extremely locked iron gate. Fortunately, the wall beside the gate didn’t pose too much of a challenge, and I was able to climb over it fairly easily. I found myself on a broad lawn. Up ahead, along the front of the house, a patio stretched. From a window above the patio, to the right of the front door, streamed the light I had seen from the bottom of the hill.
I walked softly across the lawn towards the house. As I approached, I began to hear voices coming from the lighted window. The steps of the patio creaked under my feet as I climbed them, but the voices didn’t stop. Nobody heard me as I crept along the patio, crouched underneath the window, and listened.
It didn’t take me more than a second to place the first voice. It was someone whose major claim to greatness was the pair of legs she displayed beneath those shorter-than-short robes.
“ . . . I assure you, we have nothing to be afraid of,” said sweet, angelic Sally.
“You’re sure nobody knows about this?” I didn’t recognise the other voice. It was a man’s, very deep and somehow disturbing. Its tone jarred in my ears, like a record being played at slightly the wrong speed.
“Nobody suspects a thing,” said Sally.
“What about this detective? You don’t think—”
He was interrupted by laughter from Sally. “Jimmy Clarenden? You’ve got to be joking. The man couldn’t solve a jigsaw puzzle if it only had one piece. I promise you, we have no reason to fear him.”
I raised my head slightly and tried to peer through the window. The room looked like some sort of lounge, with a plush couch and a fireplace against the opposite wall. Sally sat on the couch, her long legs spread provocatively over its violet cushions.
“I hope you are right,” said the other voice. I couldn’t make out its owner. He stood on the far side of the room, his features obscured in the shadows.
“Don’t worry about Clarenden,” said Sally. “I know how to deal with his type. I’ll just . . . ” She paused and then turned towards the window.
I ducked down just in time. While she had been speaking, I’d adjusted my position in an attempt to get a better look at the shadowy stranger, which had caused the patio to creak again, considerably more loudly. Though I could no longer see through the window, I could hear footsteps approaching. It was time for bed.
I leapt over the side of the patio, feeling a sudden tear as my pants caught on something. There was a strange sensation of coldness on my nether regions as I scurried away―not that I bothered to look back. I didn’t stop running until I was over the wall, down the hill, and back in the tranquil streets below.
All was silent as I made my way back towards the office. By this time, there was not a light visible in any of the houses I passed. Heaven slept, blissfully unaware of the plots being hatched behind the walls of the mansion on the hill. Nothing breathed. Nothing moved. And then I heard it.
It was a low rustling, coming from just beside my feet. I looked down and saw something small sliding along the ground, propelled forward by the light breeze. I picked it up and examined it. Nothing but an empty potato chip packet. I prepared to toss it back to the ground, but something made me pause. This was only the second piece of garbage I’d seen in Heaven all day.
I took a closer look. It was utterly innocuous. From the big, bright writing to the cartoon character beaming at me from the front of the packet, there was nothing in the least suspicious about it. And yet, as I stared, I couldn’t help feeling that there was something deeply disquieting about it.
Chapter 6
AT SEVEN O’CLOCK THE NEXT MORNING , I dragged myself out of bed. As usual, the sun was
The road towards the house was blocked by a large and extremely locked iron gate. Fortunately, the wall beside the gate didn’t pose too much of a challenge, and I was able to climb over it fairly easily. I found myself on a broad lawn. Up ahead, along the front of the house, a patio stretched. From a window above the patio, to the right of the front door, streamed the light I had seen from the bottom of the hill.
I walked softly across the lawn towards the house. As I approached, I began to hear voices coming from the lighted window. The steps of the patio creaked under my feet as I climbed them, but the voices didn’t stop. Nobody heard me as I crept along the patio, crouched underneath the window, and listened.
It didn’t take me more than a second to place the first voice. It was someone whose major claim to greatness was the pair of legs she displayed beneath those shorter-than-short robes.
“ . . . I assure you, we have nothing to be afraid of,” said sweet, angelic Sally.
“You’re sure nobody knows about this?” I didn’t recognise the other voice. It was a man’s, very deep and somehow disturbing. Its tone jarred in my ears, like a record being played at slightly the wrong speed.
“Nobody suspects a thing,” said Sally.
“What about this detective? You don’t think—”
He was interrupted by laughter from Sally. “Jimmy Clarenden? You’ve got to be joking. The man couldn’t solve a jigsaw puzzle if it only had one piece. I promise you, we have no reason to fear him.”
I raised my head slightly and tried to peer through the window. The room looked like some sort of lounge, with a plush couch and a fireplace against the opposite wall. Sally sat on the couch, her long legs spread provocatively over its violet cushions.
“I hope you are right,” said the other voice. I couldn’t make out its owner. He stood on the far side of the room, his features obscured in the shadows.
“Don’t worry about Clarenden,” said Sally. “I know how to deal with his type. I’ll just . . . ” She paused and then turned towards the window.
I ducked down just in time. While she had been speaking, I’d adjusted my position in an attempt to get a better look at the shadowy stranger, which had caused the patio to creak again, considerably more loudly. Though I could no longer see through the window, I could hear footsteps approaching. It was time for bed.
I leapt over the side of the patio, feeling a sudden tear as my pants caught on something. There was a strange sensation of coldness on my nether regions as I scurried away―not that I bothered to look back. I didn’t stop running until I was over the wall, down the hill, and back in the tranquil streets below.
All was silent as I made my way back towards the office. By this time, there was not a light visible in any of the houses I passed. Heaven slept, blissfully unaware of the plots being hatched behind the walls of the mansion on the hill. Nothing breathed. Nothing moved. And then I heard it.
It was a low rustling, coming from just beside my feet. I looked down and saw something small sliding along the ground, propelled forward by the light breeze. I picked it up and examined it. Nothing but an empty potato chip packet. I prepared to toss it back to the ground, but something made me pause. This was only the second piece of garbage I’d seen in Heaven all day.
I took a closer look. It was utterly innocuous. From the big, bright writing to the cartoon character beaming at me from the front of the packet, there was nothing in the least suspicious about it. And yet, as I stared, I couldn’t help feeling that there was something deeply disquieting about it.
Chapter 6
AT SEVEN O’CLOCK THE NEXT MORNING , I dragged myself out of bed. As usual, the sun was
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