Read Online A Family To Cherish by Carole Gift Page - Free Book Online Page B

irrational rage that shook her to her very roots. Doug unwittingly aggravated the situation by being oblivious to the crisis, or seemingly unconcerned, or disgustingly unflappable. His answer to every problem was to work harder, work longer, work until he was numb and nothing else mattered.
    Barbara had hoped there might be a faint glimmer of a silver lining in Paul’s and Nancy’s tragic deaths. When she and Doug had wept in each other’s arms, she had seen the chink in his self-imposed armor and had prayed they might somehow break through the wall that had separated them since Caitlin’s death, that they might topple the barrier that had left them both languishing in emotional isolation.
    But already Doug’s tears were dried and he was switching back into his detached, professional mode. The transformation was evident; he was sleepingsoundly again, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Barbara’s window of opportunity was gone. Again.
    When Barbara woke in the morning, she rolled over and felt for Doug, but his side of the bed was empty. She sat up and looked around and realized he had already left for the hospital. That meant she was left alone for the day to deal with Janee. She searched her mind to recall what sort of routine she had followed years ago with Caitlin. Those days seemed so long ago. What were they like? What were mornings like? She had tried so hard to forget; now the memories were buried too deep to recall.
    No, wait. She remembered. Caitlin had often come running into their room at the crack of dawn and jumped into bed, right in the middle between her and Doug. Caitlin would chortle as if she were playing a wonderful game. Sometimes she and Doug would have a pillow fight, while Barbara warned them to be careful not to break something, and sometimes they both turned on her and she had to duck away from the pillows. They laughed so easily in those days. Happiness was so readily taken for granted.
    Not anymore. Happiness was no longer a single-hued emotion; these days it was bittersweet, mingled with pain.
    Barbara showered and dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen to fix oatmeal. Oatmeal was good for a child. Or maybe Janee liked only the airy, sugary-sweet cereal that came in bright colors andthe shapes of hearts and diamonds and stars. Or maybe Nancy, with her flower-child mentality, had fed Janee granola or some other health food concoction. Barbara decided she would try Janee with the oatmeal first.
    She was about to go upstairs to wake the child when she heard a little voice behind her. Barbara whirled around to see Janee standing in the doorway in her pajamas, her spun-gold curls tousled, her blue-green eyes looking up expectantly. Her teddy bear hung limply from one hand. “I go home now,” she said softly.
    Barbara’s heart lurched and tears came unbidden. Janee, with her rosy cheeks and dimples, was a precious little girl…just not the right little girl. Barbara knelt down beside her and looked into her eyes. This could have been Caitlin. Should have been Caitlin. “I’m sorry, honey. You can’t go home. This is your home now.”
    â€œNo!” Janee retorted. “I go home. I fly in a big airplane.”
    â€œNot today, sweetie.” Barbara straightened and took Janee’s hand. “I made you some oatmeal. Do you like it with brown sugar?”
    â€œI want crunchy cereal with marshmallows.”
    â€œI’ll have to take you shopping, and you can show me the things you like, okay?”
    â€œWe go shopping now?”
    â€œNo. Later. I have piano students coming soon.Would you like to learn how to play the piano, Janee?”
    The child shook her head emphatically.
    â€œWell, maybe you’ll change your mind someday. Now if you don’t want oatmeal, maybe you’d like some cocoa and toast. That’s what my mother used to make for me. She’d cut the toast in three long strips so they’d be easy