Read Online 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Ross Petras - Free Book Online
Authors: Ross Petras
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on a just-released national security strategy
On Incest:
Inbreeding is how we get championship horses.
Carl Gunter, Louisiana state representative, explaining why he was fighting a proposed antiabortion bill that allowed abortion in cases of incest
On India:
India is the finest climate under the sun; but a lot of young fellows come out here, and they drink and they eat, and they drink and they die: and then they write home to their parents a pack of lies, and say it’s the climate that has killed them.
Sir Colin Campbell, British officer charged by British War Department to report on morale problems with the British Army in India
On Injuries:
Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is.
Jerry Coleman, announcer for the San Diego Padres, talking about a player’s injury during on-air game coverage
On Injuries:
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
baseball great Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
On Innovation:
We’re launching this innovation for the first time.
New York City Mayor Jimmy Walker
On Instructions, Easy to Follow:
I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.
ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson
On Instructions, Easy to Follow:
Fans, don’t fail to miss tomorrow’s game.
Dizzy Dean
On Integrity, Congressional
Grassley praised Senate colleagues “for making tough decisions to close tax loopholes which have led to abuses,” and said he was particularlypleased at the Senate’s willingness to protect farmers through a special concession.
in a press release from the office of Senator Charles E. Grassley, Iowa Republican, quoted in
The Washington Monthly
On Integrity, Congressional
I suppose I felt my votes on these issues would carry me on the integrity image on all these other things I got careless on. I have come to the conclusion I have let my integrity become restricted to the issues too much, and not enough, perhaps, to every act and procedure of my office.
Oregon Senator Mark Hatfield, in a
Portland Oregonian
article, commenting on the gifts and free tuition for his son he was given by James Holderman, the (indicted) president of the University of South Carolina
On Intelligence, Military:
The infiltration group was composed of ⅓ males, ⅓ females, and ⅓ party officials.
from a military intelligence document during the Vietnam War, quoted by ex-Army intelligence officer Bruce E. Jones
On Intelligence, Military:
This unit had an estimated strength of about 2,000 men, of which 300 were women.
from a military intelligence document during the Vietnam War, quoted by ex-Army intelligence officer Bruce E. Jones
On Interruptions:
Don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting.
director Michael Curtiz
On Interruptions:
Keep quiet, you’re always interrupting me in the middle of my mistakes.
director Michael Curtiz
On Inventing; or Preinventing:
It is curious to observe the various substitutes for paper before its invention.
Isaac D’Israeli, noted author and father of British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, in his book,
Curiosities of Literature
On Invisibility, Visibility of:
Unseen powers, like the deities of Homer in the war of Troy, were seen to mingle at every step with the tide of sublimary affairs.
Sir Archibald Alison, famous nineteenth-century Scottish historian and lawyer, author of multi-volume histories of France, in his review of Guizot
On Irrevocability:
I am giving you a chance to redeem your character, something you have irretrievably lost.
Serjeant Arabin, famous London justice, Advocate General in the Whig government of the late 1830
J
On Jail-Building:
Resolved, by this council, that we build a new jail.
Resolved, that the new jail be built out of the materials of the old jail.
Resolved, that the old jail be used until the new jail is finished.
resolution of Board of Councilmen, Canton, Mississippi, mid-1800s
On Judgment, Good:
There’s no
On Incest:
Inbreeding is how we get championship horses.
Carl Gunter, Louisiana state representative, explaining why he was fighting a proposed antiabortion bill that allowed abortion in cases of incest
On India:
India is the finest climate under the sun; but a lot of young fellows come out here, and they drink and they eat, and they drink and they die: and then they write home to their parents a pack of lies, and say it’s the climate that has killed them.
Sir Colin Campbell, British officer charged by British War Department to report on morale problems with the British Army in India
On Injuries:
Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is.
Jerry Coleman, announcer for the San Diego Padres, talking about a player’s injury during on-air game coverage
On Injuries:
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
baseball great Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
On Innovation:
We’re launching this innovation for the first time.
New York City Mayor Jimmy Walker
On Instructions, Easy to Follow:
I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.
ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson
On Instructions, Easy to Follow:
Fans, don’t fail to miss tomorrow’s game.
Dizzy Dean
On Integrity, Congressional
Grassley praised Senate colleagues “for making tough decisions to close tax loopholes which have led to abuses,” and said he was particularlypleased at the Senate’s willingness to protect farmers through a special concession.
in a press release from the office of Senator Charles E. Grassley, Iowa Republican, quoted in
The Washington Monthly
On Integrity, Congressional
I suppose I felt my votes on these issues would carry me on the integrity image on all these other things I got careless on. I have come to the conclusion I have let my integrity become restricted to the issues too much, and not enough, perhaps, to every act and procedure of my office.
Oregon Senator Mark Hatfield, in a
Portland Oregonian
article, commenting on the gifts and free tuition for his son he was given by James Holderman, the (indicted) president of the University of South Carolina
On Intelligence, Military:
The infiltration group was composed of ⅓ males, ⅓ females, and ⅓ party officials.
from a military intelligence document during the Vietnam War, quoted by ex-Army intelligence officer Bruce E. Jones
On Intelligence, Military:
This unit had an estimated strength of about 2,000 men, of which 300 were women.
from a military intelligence document during the Vietnam War, quoted by ex-Army intelligence officer Bruce E. Jones
On Interruptions:
Don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting.
director Michael Curtiz
On Interruptions:
Keep quiet, you’re always interrupting me in the middle of my mistakes.
director Michael Curtiz
On Inventing; or Preinventing:
It is curious to observe the various substitutes for paper before its invention.
Isaac D’Israeli, noted author and father of British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, in his book,
Curiosities of Literature
On Invisibility, Visibility of:
Unseen powers, like the deities of Homer in the war of Troy, were seen to mingle at every step with the tide of sublimary affairs.
Sir Archibald Alison, famous nineteenth-century Scottish historian and lawyer, author of multi-volume histories of France, in his review of Guizot
On Irrevocability:
I am giving you a chance to redeem your character, something you have irretrievably lost.
Serjeant Arabin, famous London justice, Advocate General in the Whig government of the late 1830
J
On Jail-Building:
Resolved, by this council, that we build a new jail.
Resolved, that the new jail be built out of the materials of the old jail.
Resolved, that the old jail be used until the new jail is finished.
resolution of Board of Councilmen, Canton, Mississippi, mid-1800s
On Judgment, Good:
There’s no
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