Read Online 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Ross Petras - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ross Petras
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Let the first contingent go ahead and I will send a man after you to lead the way.
J. C. Percy, bicycle club leader, addressing the group
On Leadership, What Ted Kennedy Thinks About:
Well, it’s um, you know, you have to come to grips with the different issues that, ah … that, ah, we’re facing, I mean we have … we have to deal with each of the various questions that we’re talking about whether it’s a question of the economy, whether it’s in the area of energy.
Senator Edward Kennedy, during a November 4, 1979, on-air interview with Roger Mudd, explaining why he would be different than then President Jimmy Carter
On Legal Defenses, Great Moments in:
Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?
accused thief who undertook his own defense at his trial, to his alleged victim, as reported in the
National Review.
He got ten years.
On Legal Definitions, Important:
Buttocks: The area at the rear of the human body (sometimes referred to as the glutaeus maximus) which lies between two imaginary lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top of such line being one-half inch below the top of the vertical cleavage of the nates (i.e., the prominence formed by the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom line being one-half inch above the lowest point of curvature of the fleshy protuberance (sometimes referred to as the gluteal fold), and between two imaginary lines, one on each side of the body (the “outside lines”), which outside lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and which perpendicular outside lines pass through the outermost point(s) at which each nate meets the outer side of each leg….
part of a St. Augustine, Florida, ordinance drafted by city commissioners to regulate nudity on the beach and in restaurants
On Legal Ordinances, Questionable:
Section 4: Licenses shall be issued only to persons of good moral turpitude.
Clearwater, Florida, city ordinance on liquor licenses
On Letting It All (Almost) Hang Out:
President Richard Nixon:
Do you think we want to go this route now? Let it hang out, so to speak?
John Dean:
Well, it isn’t really that.
H. R. Haldeman:
It’s a limited hang-out.
John Ehrlichman:
It’s a modified, limited, hang-out.
from the Nixon tapes
On Lies:
If I tell a lie it’s only because I think I’m telling the truth.
Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways in British Columbia, Canada
On Lies:
I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.
Richard Nixon, discussing Watergate in a 1978 interview
On Lies, the Effect of:
Thus, the black lie, issuing from his base throat, becomes a boomerang to his hand, and he is hoist by his own petard, and finds himself a marked man.
small-town newspaper editor in Wisconsin
On Life, the True Value of:
It’s not a matter of life and death. It’s more important than that.
Lou Duva, on the upcoming fight of his protégé against boxer Mike Tyson
On Life After Death:
If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.
President Gerald Ford
On Life After Death:
Yogi Berra (during a 20 Questions game):
Is he living?
Teammate:
Yes.
Yogi:
Is he living now?
On Life After Death:
If Cal Coolidge were alive today to witness this scene, he’d roll over in his grave.
representative in Massachusetts House
On Life and Death:
Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields, said to demonstrate why she should become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign
On Life Insurance. Reasons for Buying:
I’ll get it when I die.
Yogi Berra, explaining why he bought a large life insurance policy
On Light, and Darkness, or Both or Neither:
The light which the Lord Chancellor had thrown upon the matter was darkness.
Lord Ribblesdale, British aristocrat and Master of the Buckhounds in the 1890s, called “the Ancestor”
Let the first contingent go ahead and I will send a man after you to lead the way.
J. C. Percy, bicycle club leader, addressing the group
On Leadership, What Ted Kennedy Thinks About:
Well, it’s um, you know, you have to come to grips with the different issues that, ah … that, ah, we’re facing, I mean we have … we have to deal with each of the various questions that we’re talking about whether it’s a question of the economy, whether it’s in the area of energy.
Senator Edward Kennedy, during a November 4, 1979, on-air interview with Roger Mudd, explaining why he would be different than then President Jimmy Carter
On Legal Defenses, Great Moments in:
Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?
accused thief who undertook his own defense at his trial, to his alleged victim, as reported in the
National Review.
He got ten years.
On Legal Definitions, Important:
Buttocks: The area at the rear of the human body (sometimes referred to as the glutaeus maximus) which lies between two imaginary lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top of such line being one-half inch below the top of the vertical cleavage of the nates (i.e., the prominence formed by the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom line being one-half inch above the lowest point of curvature of the fleshy protuberance (sometimes referred to as the gluteal fold), and between two imaginary lines, one on each side of the body (the “outside lines”), which outside lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and which perpendicular outside lines pass through the outermost point(s) at which each nate meets the outer side of each leg….
part of a St. Augustine, Florida, ordinance drafted by city commissioners to regulate nudity on the beach and in restaurants
On Legal Ordinances, Questionable:
Section 4: Licenses shall be issued only to persons of good moral turpitude.
Clearwater, Florida, city ordinance on liquor licenses
On Letting It All (Almost) Hang Out:
President Richard Nixon:
Do you think we want to go this route now? Let it hang out, so to speak?
John Dean:
Well, it isn’t really that.
H. R. Haldeman:
It’s a limited hang-out.
John Ehrlichman:
It’s a modified, limited, hang-out.
from the Nixon tapes
On Lies:
If I tell a lie it’s only because I think I’m telling the truth.
Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways in British Columbia, Canada
On Lies:
I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.
Richard Nixon, discussing Watergate in a 1978 interview
On Lies, the Effect of:
Thus, the black lie, issuing from his base throat, becomes a boomerang to his hand, and he is hoist by his own petard, and finds himself a marked man.
small-town newspaper editor in Wisconsin
On Life, the True Value of:
It’s not a matter of life and death. It’s more important than that.
Lou Duva, on the upcoming fight of his protégé against boxer Mike Tyson
On Life After Death:
If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.
President Gerald Ford
On Life After Death:
Yogi Berra (during a 20 Questions game):
Is he living?
Teammate:
Yes.
Yogi:
Is he living now?
On Life After Death:
If Cal Coolidge were alive today to witness this scene, he’d roll over in his grave.
representative in Massachusetts House
On Life and Death:
Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields, said to demonstrate why she should become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign
On Life Insurance. Reasons for Buying:
I’ll get it when I die.
Yogi Berra, explaining why he bought a large life insurance policy
On Light, and Darkness, or Both or Neither:
The light which the Lord Chancellor had thrown upon the matter was darkness.
Lord Ribblesdale, British aristocrat and Master of the Buckhounds in the 1890s, called “the Ancestor”
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