Read Online 51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style by Leesa Harker - Free Book Online Page B

hangin out of the gap in my denim skirt that wouldn’t zip up. I was like a big whore. After about fifty cars beepin me an women tuttin at me, I finally arrived. I tucked what pubes I could back into my skirt an sat down. Then, out came dozy Deirdre with her corduroy skirt flappin down to her ankles an her bowl haircut. An she’s horrified to see me with all my bits on show. She totally lost it and went for me with a stapler. She was tryin to staple my head when the security guard an a couple of the other staff pulled her off me. She had to get restrained in the middle of the Dole an all the scallies in the queue were cheerin.
    The manager of the Dole came out to me an was apologisin to me, sayin he didn’t know what had come over her an askin me if I was going to make a claim. Then I said that I wouldn’t put a claim in if I didn’t have to go back there for any more back-to-work interviews, on account of it bein too traumatic for me goin back to the scene of the attack. An he agreed!
    Then, as I was walkin out, I saw Mr Big talkin to Deirdre an holdin her hand an I was furious. I couldn’t say anything because he’s not allowed to shag anyone from work an he’d get sacked if he did. So I had to walk out an leave them an I was fit to burst.
    As I let myself into the flat, I thought about Mr Big an those chinos and his smile. An I lay on my bed an remembered the snooker table sex an I was soakin. Then I thinks to myself, how can I make Mr Big fall in love with me? What do I have to do? Then it hit me. I have to let him be my master. Call him ‘sir’ when he’s wallopin me, let him do what he wants to me in his red room of pain an maybe, just maybe, take a look at that contract again. I decided to get my sexiest clothes on – an get rid of the Muff. Shave the beast off once an for all for Mr Big. So off I trotted to the bathroom, chantin, ‘No muff too tough, no muff too tough.’

No Pain, No Gain?
    My Gillette razor was like a rusted door hinge, it had been so long since I’d used it. And so I ended up hacking at the muff like I was de-weedin the garden an ended up with a fanny that looked like a game of x’s and o’s – stubborn hairs stickin up in all directions. You could have laid me down an used me as a stinger to catch joyriders. But that’s what Mr Big wanted an that’s what he would get. So I picked out a leopard print boob tube that Big Billy Scriven said my tits looked great in, an a red leather miniskirt that I got in Primark. An I finished off the look with a pair a gold hoop earrings an red stilettos. When I looked in the mirror, I thought to myself, ‘I’d shag ya.’ So off I went, no knickers on, pure ride material.
    When I got to his apartment and he answered the phone, his voice sounded all sad.
    An I said, ‘It’s Bell, babe. An my knickers aren’t ringin cos I don’t have any on!’
    An then I heard him heavy breathin down the intercom an I thought to myself, I’m in for it now. So I ran up to the flat an he nearly beat down the door down to get to me.
    Then I said, ‘I missed you.’
    Then he said, ‘Me too, Margaret.’
    Then I went bright red. So I said to him, ‘Right, babe. Forget what happened at the Dole an I never want to hear that woman’s name mentioned again. Now, do what you want to me – I am still not signin the contract, but if I shout ‘Maggie says no ’ you have to stop, right?’
    Then he said okay to that, so I ran into the bedroom, jumped on the bed an hitched my skirt up to show off my butchered Mary an said, ‘Now get stuck into that, babe.’
    Then he saw the banjaxed shavin job an went crazy. He whipped off his chinos an took a run at me like he was about to dive-bomb into water.
    Molestin isn’t the word. I was bucked, screwed, chewed an stripped nude an I loved it! He flung me this way an that, had me hangin off the bed