51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style

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Authors: Leesa Harker
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from behind an I missed the ball. But as I was gettin rid over the table, I took advantage of the situation an moved a few of his balls on the table round an snookered the cunt.
    So, by the time ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ was blarin out of the stereo, he had me lyin on the snooker table on my back with my skirt round my waist an my top pulled up. My legs were up his front an over his shoulders an he was holdin me down with the snooker cue. Then, after we were finished, he said to me, ‘I think we’ll have to abandon this game, Margaret.’
    An I said, ‘Sure. You were losin anyway.’ Then he told me that we were going to take a shower together. So, we trotted into the bathroom an he grabbed me an pulled me into the shower with my clothes still on! An I was laughin my head off as he turned on the water.
    Then he said to me, ‘Touch me, Margaret.’
    An I thought to myself, oh fuck, he’s never let me touch his scars or anythin. So, I carefully peeled off his shirt that was stuck to him with the water an he was all right with it. An then I thought to myself, he must love me a little bit. Then he pulled my top off over my head an I took my bra off an released the baps. Then he started soapin my baps up with a sponge an I had a little tickle of his middle leg. Then he went to take my denim skirt off and it was stuck to me with the water. He yanked it, pulled it, twisted it an it didn’t come off. So in the end, I had to lie on the floor with my feet against the toilet while he stood over me an heaved it off me. I decided at that moment that I needed to go on a serious diet. Then he let me wash him too an I thought I might be in heaven. It reminded me of the time Jack painted Rose on the Titanic , lookin at each others bits but not actually ridin. So, after that, we put our clothes on the radiator to dry an went into the bedroom. Then he had me again on the bed. No whips, no chains, no ropes this time. An I fell asleep in his arms.

Deirdre Goes Ape-shit
    It was the day of my back-to-work interview with Deirdre at the Dole. So Mr Big left for work first an said to me to have some breakfast an to head to the Dole when I was ready. So I got a cup of tea an a fag an I decided to take a look around his flat. I was lookin in his wardrobe when I saw this black box down at the bottom, so I lifted it out an carried it on to the bed. It was full of details of his past subs. Their pictures, their dress an bra sizes, their contracts, everythin. So I picked up one of the pictures an right enough, it was a dwarf woman. An I wonder if he potted her brown on the snooker table. An I was ragin with jealousy.
    One of the women was like a model – all cheek bones an eyelashes an I imagined her an my Mr Big havin a bath together, or in the red room of pain. An then another picture was of an ugly bag an I thinks to myself, he’s not choosy like is he? It was like goin from Pamela Anderson to Deirdre Barlow! Sure she had a face on her that would have turned milk. Then, I looked a bit closer an I nearly had a fit – It was Deirdre-no-diddies from the Dole! So, I shoved all the pictures back into the box an went to get dressed. I was in two minds whether or not to take the pictures down to the backyard an set them on fire but then Mr Big would have known that I was snoopin about his flat an I didn’t want that. Even though I was ragin that he had kept all those pictures an details of his ex-subs.
    Little did I know, more drama was to come. When I tried to get my clothes on they had shrunk with hangin over the radiator all night. My white belly top was just about coverin my baps an my denim skirt just about went on, but it wouldn’t zip up. An for the life of me, I couldn’t find my knickers anywhere. I was gonna put somethin of Mr Big’s on but he only had suits an ties an all that shit. So I left the flat an headed to the Dole with my red bra pokin out below my shrunken top, an the Muff

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