Read Online 3volve by Josefina Gutierrez - Free Book Online

eyes, walking back to my room. I follow him to probe him for answers. When I get to the room, I see him loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. I stop, turning around to close my eyes. “Sorry,” I tell him. Although, I’m not sure why I close my eyes—I already turned around.
                  He chuckles at my sudden bashfulness. “You can turn around now.”
                  I turn around to see him wearing a tight-fitted shirt. He lays down on the bed, hanging his legs over the edge, draping his arm over his eyes. Charlie pats the bed for me to sit down next to him.
    Reluctantly I sit down and roll on my side to look up at him. “So, why are you so tired?” I ask, resting my head on my elbow.
    “Long hours.” He peeks at me through the crook of his arm. He looks at me with a lingering stare. And I begin to feel uncomfortable, shifting in the bed.
    Why am I getting uncomfortable? This isn’t the first time we’ve laid next to each other except, before he never looked at me like he is now. Except before, I wasn’t wondering if he liked me. Changing positions, I move to lay back down on the bed, asking, “Why have you been working long hours?”
    “Something important I’m working on,” he says, leaning against the bed frame.
    “Like?” I look sideways at him.
    “You’ll find out soon enough.”
    I laugh, “And when will that be?”
    Charlie turns to his side, reaching out for me. I huddle closer to him. “Soon,” he says and I rest my head on his chest. “I’m really tired.” He closes his eyes and a silence overtakes us.
    His face looks so gaunt. The afternoon sun is blazing against his cheekbones. Whatever it is he’s keeping from me, it’s keeping him exhausted. I know he’ll tell me eventually. I just hope it comes sooner rather than later.
    I place my hand over his heart. The gentle thumping of his heart soothes my discomfort. I almost forget the reason why I haven’t slept in this room. I haven’t slept in here in over a year because it felt so empty, an unknowing abyss of guilt. Except for now. Except when he’s sleeping next to me. I focus intently on his steadied breathing: how his chest upheaves with every intake of breath. I close my eyes, more calmed than I was this morning.
    Without knowing it, I fall asleep and drift off into my dreams: a peaceful dream world—a forgiving and heavenly dream where my parents comfort me. It isn’t just a repeat of the past. It isn’t about regret or grief. It’s just a moment where we sit on the living room playing Pictionary and eating pizza. Jeremy and Jeremiah are laughing, finishing each other’s sentences.
    It’s the best kind of dream where you don’t know there is an end.
    But there is.
    And when I wake up, it hits me.
    All that I’ve lost.
     

Chapter 6
     
    The light is baring down more than before, piercing my heart with an ever-longing reminder of my dream world. I pick up my head to look at the time, afraid the boys are waiting for me. The time ticks slowly, showing I still have an hour until I have to be at school. I sigh, relieved I haven’t messed up again. I carefully pick up Charlie’s arm to move it without waking him up. But his hold is strong. Our legs are tangled together in the sheets. Charlie shifts in the bed, his grasp holding onto me tighter.
    I wiggle free of him and slide off the bed. He stirs slightly, opening his eyes, “Where you going?” he mumbles.
                  “Sorry. I have to make dinner. Go back to sleep,” I tell him in a hushed tone.
                  “Mmm…” he flips over, covering his face with the pillow. I leave him to finish taking a nap, and I go back downstairs to prepare dinner.
    We were just sleeping. We just fell asleep. That’s totally a friend thing, right? Then why am I still thinking about how it felt to be in his arms? I shake the thoughts away.
    I need to concentrate on dinner. After putting the dish in the oven and