Read Online Yours Truly by Kirsty Greenwood - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kirsty Greenwood
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I’m fifty five years old, ” I blurt.
That’s odd. I told a lie. I can tell a lie. And that weird bubbling urge to tell the truth feeling wasn’t there.
Now Meg looks even more confused and, fishing around in her bag for her phone, announces that she is going to call Olly and get him to take me home to bed, because I’m clearly unwell.
“ Wait. No, ” I plead. “ It didn’t work that time. I don’t understand. ”
I slump back onto the bench and put my head into my hands. I think carefully back to the events of this morning, over my entire conversation with Olly. And then it occurs to me. The urge to tell the truth only happens when I’m asked about something. I’m sure of it.
“ Ask me a question! ” I demand, grabbing Meg’s phone and putting it back into her bag. “ I think it only happens when someone asks a question. ”
Meg ponders for a second before saying:
“ Well, that was the point of the hypnotism last night. To get the audience to ask me questions . That I was only supposed to tell the truth when someone asked me a question. ”
She’s right! That’s it!
“ Go on then. Ask me a question. But make sure it’s something I wouldn’t really want to answer. That way, you’ll know I’m not lying. ”
Meg nods and rubs her hands together. “ Right. Let me see… Okay. Do you ever pick your nose and eat it? ”
“ No! Ick, ” I state immediately, the bubbling need to answer overtaking my brain and my mouth. There it is. That feeling! It only happens when I’m asked a question. I look up at Meg haughtily. “ See! ”
Meg huffs and folds her arms. “ Well that’s no good. You could be lying! ”
Fair point.
“ Okay. Try again with another question. ”
Meg purses her lips in concentration, and then her face lights up.
“ Fine. Remember that time at the upper sixth disco when you went missing for half an hour and told me you got locked in the toilets, even though I checked the toilets and you weren’t there? ”
“ Yes, ” I say, my face beginning to burn up because I know exactly what’s coming next.
“ Where were you really? ”
“ I was in the art studio. ”
Meg gasps, her eyes widening. She bites down onto her bottom lip
“ And what were you doing? ” she whispers.
Oh no!
“ I was snogging Mr Francis! ” I cry before covering my face with my hands. “ And his breath smelt like pipe. It was horrible! ”
Mr Francis was the sixth form head of art. He had a beard. It was grey. In my defence I had had two entire bottles of red wine beforehand. Okay. There was no defence.
Meg yelps and does a tiny jump up and down. “ No! That’s disgusting. ”
“ He had the look of Sean Connery, ” I reason.
“ Nat, he had the look of Bill Oddie. Ew! ”
She's right. Oh Gad. I’m so embarrassed.
“ That was supposed to go with me to the grave. ”
Meg is laughing so hard that tears are trickling down her face. And then she stops and inhales sharply, as the realisation of what I’ve just revealed hits her.
“ Ohmigod Natty. You’re hypnotised. ”
At last.
“ I know! That's what I've been trying to tell you. What will I do? If I don’t fix it, I’ll never be able to make it up to Olly. I’ll never get married! ” At the thought of Olly, tears spring to my eyes.
“ I have to fix it Meg. I have to. ”
Meg’s face becomes serious and she examines the Amazing Brian card she’s still holding onto. She runs a thumb over the back before looking back up into my eyes.
“ Well, my malleable brained friend. Looks like we’re going to be taking a leetle road trip. ”
“ What? Where? ”
“ The village of Little Trooley, ” she says reading from the written address on the card . ”
“ But before we go anywhere, you have to do something, and it’s extremely important. ”
“ What is it? ” I breathe .
“ Put my flipping cardigan on. I can totally see your nipples through that top. ”
CHAPTER EIGHT
TEXT FROM: DIONNE
RU going to have a
That’s odd. I told a lie. I can tell a lie. And that weird bubbling urge to tell the truth feeling wasn’t there.
Now Meg looks even more confused and, fishing around in her bag for her phone, announces that she is going to call Olly and get him to take me home to bed, because I’m clearly unwell.
“ Wait. No, ” I plead. “ It didn’t work that time. I don’t understand. ”
I slump back onto the bench and put my head into my hands. I think carefully back to the events of this morning, over my entire conversation with Olly. And then it occurs to me. The urge to tell the truth only happens when I’m asked about something. I’m sure of it.
“ Ask me a question! ” I demand, grabbing Meg’s phone and putting it back into her bag. “ I think it only happens when someone asks a question. ”
Meg ponders for a second before saying:
“ Well, that was the point of the hypnotism last night. To get the audience to ask me questions . That I was only supposed to tell the truth when someone asked me a question. ”
She’s right! That’s it!
“ Go on then. Ask me a question. But make sure it’s something I wouldn’t really want to answer. That way, you’ll know I’m not lying. ”
Meg nods and rubs her hands together. “ Right. Let me see… Okay. Do you ever pick your nose and eat it? ”
“ No! Ick, ” I state immediately, the bubbling need to answer overtaking my brain and my mouth. There it is. That feeling! It only happens when I’m asked a question. I look up at Meg haughtily. “ See! ”
Meg huffs and folds her arms. “ Well that’s no good. You could be lying! ”
Fair point.
“ Okay. Try again with another question. ”
Meg purses her lips in concentration, and then her face lights up.
“ Fine. Remember that time at the upper sixth disco when you went missing for half an hour and told me you got locked in the toilets, even though I checked the toilets and you weren’t there? ”
“ Yes, ” I say, my face beginning to burn up because I know exactly what’s coming next.
“ Where were you really? ”
“ I was in the art studio. ”
Meg gasps, her eyes widening. She bites down onto her bottom lip
“ And what were you doing? ” she whispers.
Oh no!
“ I was snogging Mr Francis! ” I cry before covering my face with my hands. “ And his breath smelt like pipe. It was horrible! ”
Mr Francis was the sixth form head of art. He had a beard. It was grey. In my defence I had had two entire bottles of red wine beforehand. Okay. There was no defence.
Meg yelps and does a tiny jump up and down. “ No! That’s disgusting. ”
“ He had the look of Sean Connery, ” I reason.
“ Nat, he had the look of Bill Oddie. Ew! ”
She's right. Oh Gad. I’m so embarrassed.
“ That was supposed to go with me to the grave. ”
Meg is laughing so hard that tears are trickling down her face. And then she stops and inhales sharply, as the realisation of what I’ve just revealed hits her.
“ Ohmigod Natty. You’re hypnotised. ”
At last.
“ I know! That's what I've been trying to tell you. What will I do? If I don’t fix it, I’ll never be able to make it up to Olly. I’ll never get married! ” At the thought of Olly, tears spring to my eyes.
“ I have to fix it Meg. I have to. ”
Meg’s face becomes serious and she examines the Amazing Brian card she’s still holding onto. She runs a thumb over the back before looking back up into my eyes.
“ Well, my malleable brained friend. Looks like we’re going to be taking a leetle road trip. ”
“ What? Where? ”
“ The village of Little Trooley, ” she says reading from the written address on the card . ”
“ But before we go anywhere, you have to do something, and it’s extremely important. ”
“ What is it? ” I breathe .
“ Put my flipping cardigan on. I can totally see your nipples through that top. ”
CHAPTER EIGHT
TEXT FROM: DIONNE
RU going to have a
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