always that intense? Was this what it felt like to have a crush on somebody? To love somebody?
I shook off that thought. I couldn't love him. I haven't known him long enough for that. But whatever it is that I'm feeling, I hope it doesn't go away. I hope he doesn't go away, because I actually like him.
It was Monday again, but even that couldn't bring me down. I actually didn't dread my upcoming appointment with Dr. Lewis. I wondered for a moment if I should tell her about my intense kiss with Aiden, but quickly stopped myself. No way I would tell her that. But I could tell her about my weekend. I went to a party with actual people, and I went to see Aiden's family. Certainly she would be happy about that.
Aiden sent me a text while I was waiting for my appointment at Dr. Lewis's office.
Meet me on the roof? :)
I can't :( In an hour? I text back.
Sounds good. Can't wait to see you.
I looked at the text and smiled. I replied, Me too, and then put away my phone.
5 minutes later, I was sitting in front of Dr. Lewis. Only this time, I didn't feel so exposed. I almost felt normal.
“ You don't have ink on your arms,” she noticed. “And you're smiling.”
I rubbed my arms. “I actually forgot about my arms. And I'm smiling because I have a reason to.”
“I take it you had a good weekend?” she asked. “Did you go visit your parents?”
“ They came up on Friday,” I then continued on to tell her about my weekend. I told her about going to the party, and then going Aiden's house and meeting his family... I told her everything, except about the kiss.
“ It sounds like you and Aiden are getting really close.”
I nodded my head. “We are.”
She leaned forward in her chair. “Look, Roxy, I'm really glad you're making a friend, but it sounds like you are really depending on this boy. What happens if he gets a girlfriend and she doesn't want him hanging out with you? Or what happens when you graduate and go your separate ways?”
I sat back on the couch, feeling overwhelmed. “I hadn't thought about that.”
She sent me a sad smile. “I'm not saying you should stop hanging out with Aiden. I like that he is encouraging you. But I want to make sure that you don't depend on him too much. If you do, you might find that you're worse off in the long run.”
I nodded, not sure what to say. She was right. I did depend on him more than I should.
Damn Dr. Lewis.
AIDEN
I was supposed to meet Roxy on the roof, but she sent me a text message saying she was tired and that she just wanted to go to bed. I tried not to be disappointed, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to make her mine. But, at the same time, I knew I couldn't, not yet. Roxy was different. No matter how bad I wanted to dive in head first, I had to go slow with her.
I couldn't believe that she finally opened up to me last night. It was a huge first step for her. Everything she told me about her mom was completely crazy, and I was starting to understand why she was always so distant. She spent 16 years living with a psychopath. I wouldn't trust anybody if I was her.
More than anything, I wanted to take away her bad memories, but how could I? Would she always have panic attacks? Would she always write on her arms? Could I ever have a real relationship with her? I thought back to our weekend together, and I knew the answer. Yes, we could be together. The way she was with my family, with me... She may always be haunted by nightmares, but she will have a normal life.
The next day, I went to Roxy's dorm after football practice. She had been very quiet that day, and I wanted to see her. I needed to talk to her... To make sure that I didn't scare her off. When I knocked on the door, her redheaded roommate answered.
“You again.” She smiled.
“ Is Roxy here?” I asked
She pouted. “What, I'm not good enough for you?”
No, I thought, but I didn't say it because I was a nice person. “Is she here?”
I shook off that thought. I couldn't love him. I haven't known him long enough for that. But whatever it is that I'm feeling, I hope it doesn't go away. I hope he doesn't go away, because I actually like him.
It was Monday again, but even that couldn't bring me down. I actually didn't dread my upcoming appointment with Dr. Lewis. I wondered for a moment if I should tell her about my intense kiss with Aiden, but quickly stopped myself. No way I would tell her that. But I could tell her about my weekend. I went to a party with actual people, and I went to see Aiden's family. Certainly she would be happy about that.
Aiden sent me a text while I was waiting for my appointment at Dr. Lewis's office.
Meet me on the roof? :)
I can't :( In an hour? I text back.
Sounds good. Can't wait to see you.
I looked at the text and smiled. I replied, Me too, and then put away my phone.
5 minutes later, I was sitting in front of Dr. Lewis. Only this time, I didn't feel so exposed. I almost felt normal.
“ You don't have ink on your arms,” she noticed. “And you're smiling.”
I rubbed my arms. “I actually forgot about my arms. And I'm smiling because I have a reason to.”
“I take it you had a good weekend?” she asked. “Did you go visit your parents?”
“ They came up on Friday,” I then continued on to tell her about my weekend. I told her about going to the party, and then going Aiden's house and meeting his family... I told her everything, except about the kiss.
“ It sounds like you and Aiden are getting really close.”
I nodded my head. “We are.”
She leaned forward in her chair. “Look, Roxy, I'm really glad you're making a friend, but it sounds like you are really depending on this boy. What happens if he gets a girlfriend and she doesn't want him hanging out with you? Or what happens when you graduate and go your separate ways?”
I sat back on the couch, feeling overwhelmed. “I hadn't thought about that.”
She sent me a sad smile. “I'm not saying you should stop hanging out with Aiden. I like that he is encouraging you. But I want to make sure that you don't depend on him too much. If you do, you might find that you're worse off in the long run.”
I nodded, not sure what to say. She was right. I did depend on him more than I should.
Damn Dr. Lewis.
AIDEN
I was supposed to meet Roxy on the roof, but she sent me a text message saying she was tired and that she just wanted to go to bed. I tried not to be disappointed, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to make her mine. But, at the same time, I knew I couldn't, not yet. Roxy was different. No matter how bad I wanted to dive in head first, I had to go slow with her.
I couldn't believe that she finally opened up to me last night. It was a huge first step for her. Everything she told me about her mom was completely crazy, and I was starting to understand why she was always so distant. She spent 16 years living with a psychopath. I wouldn't trust anybody if I was her.
More than anything, I wanted to take away her bad memories, but how could I? Would she always have panic attacks? Would she always write on her arms? Could I ever have a real relationship with her? I thought back to our weekend together, and I knew the answer. Yes, we could be together. The way she was with my family, with me... She may always be haunted by nightmares, but she will have a normal life.
The next day, I went to Roxy's dorm after football practice. She had been very quiet that day, and I wanted to see her. I needed to talk to her... To make sure that I didn't scare her off. When I knocked on the door, her redheaded roommate answered.
“You again.” She smiled.
“ Is Roxy here?” I asked
She pouted. “What, I'm not good enough for you?”
No, I thought, but I didn't say it because I was a nice person. “Is she here?”
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