sadly. ‘Sorry, my love, but that’s not going to happen.’
She lifted her hand and pushed the rag into Ash’s face. The whole of Ash’s world seemed to explode.
12
ASH MURRAY DREAMED strange dreams. Sometimes she saw her mother’s face in them, smiling down at her. Then her mother’s face would turn into Dora’s, and Dora would be forcing medicine into Ash’s mouth, holding her nose to make her drink it, singing nursery rhymes as she worked, the rhymes taking Ash back to the sunny white days of her childhood …
Her eyes snapped open and everything seemed terribly bright. She blinked rapidly, turning her head from side to side. Something tight and itchy had been placed round her neck. She looked up and saw the rope tied round a crossbeam a few feet above her head. That was when Ash realised that she was wearing a noose. Her head felt thick and heavy, as if she had a really bad hangover. Her mouth was so dry she couldn’t even swallow.
Looking round, she saw that she was back in the living room in the lodge. Daylight flowed in through the windows, and she could hearbirdsong coming from outside. She gasped when she saw Nick’s body lying sprawled at the foot of the staircase, one leg twisted at a weird angle, where it had caught under a step. Thankfully his face was turned away from her. He was wearing the same clothes he’d been in when they’d gone walking – an event that seemed like another life to Ash now – including the black North Face fleece she’d bought him two Christmases ago. His bare legs, usually one of his most attractive features, had gone a strange grey colour.
She tried to whisper his name but all that came out was a toad-like croak. Tears stung her eyes. She had to hold him one last time, even if it was the last thing she ever did. But as she moved to go towards him, she looked down and saw that she was standing on a chair. If she stepped off it, the rope would tighten and she’d be left hanging in mid-air.
She grabbed at the noose, hunting for the knot with shaking, fumbling fingers.
‘Don’t bother, my love. I’m right behind you. All I have to do is give that chair a little kick and you’ll be throttled like one of last year’s chickens.’
Ash froze, wondering what new nightmare was in store for her as Dora walked into view, stopping in front of her. Ash could have kickedthe old lady full in the face, but to do so risked knocking herself off the chair and she could see that Dora knew that. The old lady was giving her one of her friendly smiles, but there was a cruel twinkle in her eye. It made Ash think of nasty little boys pulling the legs off spiders.
‘What’s going on?’ Ash asked her, the words coming out in a thick slur.
‘I was waiting for you to wake up, my love. You see, I want to watch you suffer after what you did to my Stuart. I don’t want you to die peacefully in your sleep. I want to see you dangle and kick. I want to see your face change colour while the life chokes out of you.’
She stepped forward, a foot touching one of the chair legs, looking up at Ash as she did so, lapping up her fear. She was still wearing the same dress and pinafore, her hair in the same bun. Even now Ash found it hard to grasp that this old lady in front of her was just about to end her life.
‘Why?’ she whispered.
‘I told you. You killed my youngest child. Beat him like an animal. You’re going to have to pay for that.’
‘We just tried to help the girl.’ Ash was finding her voice again now. ‘That’s all we did. Who was she?’
Something crossed the old lady’s features then. Was it regret? ‘She’s just one of many,’ she answered with a sigh.
‘But why do you do it?’ Suddenly Ash had to know, even though she knew it would do no good. ‘Why do you kidnap girls?’
‘I don’t, my love. They’re nothing to do with me. My sons just look after them, and make sure they don’t escape. Which this time they didn’t do a very good job of. The girls
Patrick McGrath
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