she returned from dinner. It had been a month since I had agreed to pretend to be her boyfriend, it had also been the same amount of time since I actually talked to her. If I didn’t have to speak to her, I didn’t, and that alone caused an ache to form in my chest and anger to radiate throughout me.
Alan Jackson’s Itty Bitty was blaring through the speakers of the outside surround system when Chance threw himself into one of the patio chairs next to me. He had worry wrinkles on his forehead and was covered in a sheen of sweat.
“When did you turn into a drunken country boy?” he asked, smiling as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from me, taking his own chug from the bottle.
“I’m not a drunken country boy, I’m a drunken playboy,” I sneered, grabbing the bottle back from him. I wasn’t wasted every night because I still had classes to take during the week, but definitely wouldn’t consider myself sober. I had to drink. It was the only thing that kept me away from her.
“Please, don’t tell me this is all still over Gia.” He didn’t so much ask but assumed which pissed me off.
“Why the fuck would you think that?” I countered back as he shrugged his shoulders as if the answer was right in front of me.
“You haven’t drank this hard since your freshman year, on top of that you’re never home and when you are I’ve found you out here or sleeping on the balcony. If it has to do with her, just tell me, bro. I’ll help you out.” His voice was pleading, telling me that even though he had warned me away from her and this was no one’s fault but my own− he still cared how I felt. Something about that made me understand his concern. We were twins after all, and when it came down to it, we channeled one another’s emotions.
Placing the bottle to my lips, I took another swig letting the whiskey burn a path down to my stomach.
“Chance…” my voice trailed off as my mind spaced out while that day hit me full force.
“I know it wasn’t the most ideal situation, but I wanted to say thanks for having my back with my dad.” She stood at the entrance of my room, looking as if she was afraid to approach me. My heart had taken a beating the second I heard her tell her parents I was her boyfriend.
Lies. We would never be anything more than a lie to them when they did find out the truth, and that pissed me off the most. Add in the fact I had been threatened by her very real FBI agent father and I wasn’t looking forward to when the truth did come out.
“I saved your ass.” The words fell from my lips without hesitation. There were a million other things I wanted to tell her, but what I was feeling right now was not the perfect time to say them.
She smiled at me and my breath stilled, she was beautiful. Like a sunset against the ocean.
“I know, and I wanted you to know that it means a lot to me that you went along with it. I just…” She stopped midsentence looking at me with uncertainty. “I don’t want what happened today to happen again. We need to distance ourselves, we need to be…” I couldn’t say I wasn’t angry because I was, but I couldn’t say that I didn’t expect it. We both had vowed to one time, one chance. One moment. That had already turned into two, and if we didn’t distance ourselves now it would turn into three. I wasn’t good at loving someone. I could care for them, take them in and treat them right, but love… love meant something completely different. It meant being blind to another person. To allowing them into all the small parts that make you who you are. It meant secrets being told, feelings being revealed.
“Just friends?” I finished her sentence for her, already knowing what it was that she was going to say. I could see the sadness in her dark eyes and the hesitation that she felt to step away from the pull we had towards one another.
“Yeah, just friends.” Darkness surrounded me in the most surreal way as I watched her look down at the
Alan Jackson’s Itty Bitty was blaring through the speakers of the outside surround system when Chance threw himself into one of the patio chairs next to me. He had worry wrinkles on his forehead and was covered in a sheen of sweat.
“When did you turn into a drunken country boy?” he asked, smiling as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from me, taking his own chug from the bottle.
“I’m not a drunken country boy, I’m a drunken playboy,” I sneered, grabbing the bottle back from him. I wasn’t wasted every night because I still had classes to take during the week, but definitely wouldn’t consider myself sober. I had to drink. It was the only thing that kept me away from her.
“Please, don’t tell me this is all still over Gia.” He didn’t so much ask but assumed which pissed me off.
“Why the fuck would you think that?” I countered back as he shrugged his shoulders as if the answer was right in front of me.
“You haven’t drank this hard since your freshman year, on top of that you’re never home and when you are I’ve found you out here or sleeping on the balcony. If it has to do with her, just tell me, bro. I’ll help you out.” His voice was pleading, telling me that even though he had warned me away from her and this was no one’s fault but my own− he still cared how I felt. Something about that made me understand his concern. We were twins after all, and when it came down to it, we channeled one another’s emotions.
Placing the bottle to my lips, I took another swig letting the whiskey burn a path down to my stomach.
“Chance…” my voice trailed off as my mind spaced out while that day hit me full force.
“I know it wasn’t the most ideal situation, but I wanted to say thanks for having my back with my dad.” She stood at the entrance of my room, looking as if she was afraid to approach me. My heart had taken a beating the second I heard her tell her parents I was her boyfriend.
Lies. We would never be anything more than a lie to them when they did find out the truth, and that pissed me off the most. Add in the fact I had been threatened by her very real FBI agent father and I wasn’t looking forward to when the truth did come out.
“I saved your ass.” The words fell from my lips without hesitation. There were a million other things I wanted to tell her, but what I was feeling right now was not the perfect time to say them.
She smiled at me and my breath stilled, she was beautiful. Like a sunset against the ocean.
“I know, and I wanted you to know that it means a lot to me that you went along with it. I just…” She stopped midsentence looking at me with uncertainty. “I don’t want what happened today to happen again. We need to distance ourselves, we need to be…” I couldn’t say I wasn’t angry because I was, but I couldn’t say that I didn’t expect it. We both had vowed to one time, one chance. One moment. That had already turned into two, and if we didn’t distance ourselves now it would turn into three. I wasn’t good at loving someone. I could care for them, take them in and treat them right, but love… love meant something completely different. It meant being blind to another person. To allowing them into all the small parts that make you who you are. It meant secrets being told, feelings being revealed.
“Just friends?” I finished her sentence for her, already knowing what it was that she was going to say. I could see the sadness in her dark eyes and the hesitation that she felt to step away from the pull we had towards one another.
“Yeah, just friends.” Darkness surrounded me in the most surreal way as I watched her look down at the
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