because it was cold and wet and the rain danced off the shiny coffin making it more shiny. Big blobs of raindrops shone like small glass marbles on the varnished wood. It was horrible when the coffin thudded down into the deep hole, and she could hear the water slushing beneath it, and then the earth thumped down on top of it and she thought: Dada, the real you is not down there. But if he was not, where was he because he was gone? All the talk about heaven was all right, but where was it and was he there?
“Jack,” she said, tugging his hand, “where is Dada really?”
“That’s the big question,” Jack told her.
When they came back home the grown-ups had tea and talked, and cried between the talking and the tea. She wandered out into the calf house and found Bran asleep in the straw. When he heard her he opened one eye and wagged his tail as if to say come and sit here with me. She sat down beside him and put an arm around him.
“Bran,” she asked him, “will we be crying for ever after Dada?”
Chapter Five
I T WAS MONDAY morning and she was going back to school. Nora had never thought that she would look forward to going to school, but home was so strange that she wanted to be where things might be the same as they had been before the accident. Everybody called it “the accident” or “the terrible accident”, and it was easier to say that than to say “the day Dada died”. But no matter what they called it Nora felt that home was a different place since then.
Mom and Peter and herself were like strangers to each other because they were all changed. Mom was gone silent. Instead of being busy and keeping things moving as she always had, she sat looking into space, with no interest in what went on around her. It frightened Nora to see her like that. Peter was grumpy and sullen and Nora knew that he cried in bed at night. One night when she woke up terrified after dreaming that she was back on the road behindthe trap, she had crept along to his room. Just as she put her hand on the knob of the door she heard him sobbing. Something had stopped her from turning the knob. She tip-toed slowly by her mother’s door and listened, but there was no sound though she was almost sure that her mother was not asleep. She had heard Mom tell Nana the day before Nana went home that she was awake all night. Nora wished that Nana had not gone home, but after a few weeks Nana was not feeling well and had wanted to get back to her own house and to Uncle Mark.
Sometimes Uncle Mark did not come out of the house for long periods because he was working out tunes on his fiddle or painting pictures. Nora knew that people thought he was odd but when she looked at his pictures she felt that he had magic inside in him. She wanted go home with Nana to be with her and Uncle Mark, but Nana had told her gently, “Your mother needs you.”
“But Mom is gone all queer,” Nora complained.
“Give her a chance, child,” Nana told her. “It’s early days yet.”
Later she had heard Nana tell Mom to make some effort for the children, but Mom did not seem to be listening.
It was Jack who had decided that they should go back to school.
Peter objected sullenly. “I’m not going to school,” he said; “I’m going to stay here and run this place like my father did.”
“Peter,” Jack said firmly, “you’ll be finished in the Glen this summer and then will be time enough to make decisions.”
“I should be running Mossgrove, not you,” Peter said mutinously.
“That’s Conway talk,” Jack told him sharply, and Nora knew that he had hit home when Peter’s face went red.
“Listen, Peter,” Jack said kindly, “this is a quiet time of year, and if you milk the cows with me morning and evening we’ll manage until it gets busy, and then you’ll have holidays and we’ll take it from there.”
“All right,” Peter agreed reluctantly, but Nora felt sure that he was secretly relieved to be going back to school.
They
“Jack,” she said, tugging his hand, “where is Dada really?”
“That’s the big question,” Jack told her.
When they came back home the grown-ups had tea and talked, and cried between the talking and the tea. She wandered out into the calf house and found Bran asleep in the straw. When he heard her he opened one eye and wagged his tail as if to say come and sit here with me. She sat down beside him and put an arm around him.
“Bran,” she asked him, “will we be crying for ever after Dada?”
Chapter Five
I T WAS MONDAY morning and she was going back to school. Nora had never thought that she would look forward to going to school, but home was so strange that she wanted to be where things might be the same as they had been before the accident. Everybody called it “the accident” or “the terrible accident”, and it was easier to say that than to say “the day Dada died”. But no matter what they called it Nora felt that home was a different place since then.
Mom and Peter and herself were like strangers to each other because they were all changed. Mom was gone silent. Instead of being busy and keeping things moving as she always had, she sat looking into space, with no interest in what went on around her. It frightened Nora to see her like that. Peter was grumpy and sullen and Nora knew that he cried in bed at night. One night when she woke up terrified after dreaming that she was back on the road behindthe trap, she had crept along to his room. Just as she put her hand on the knob of the door she heard him sobbing. Something had stopped her from turning the knob. She tip-toed slowly by her mother’s door and listened, but there was no sound though she was almost sure that her mother was not asleep. She had heard Mom tell Nana the day before Nana went home that she was awake all night. Nora wished that Nana had not gone home, but after a few weeks Nana was not feeling well and had wanted to get back to her own house and to Uncle Mark.
Sometimes Uncle Mark did not come out of the house for long periods because he was working out tunes on his fiddle or painting pictures. Nora knew that people thought he was odd but when she looked at his pictures she felt that he had magic inside in him. She wanted go home with Nana to be with her and Uncle Mark, but Nana had told her gently, “Your mother needs you.”
“But Mom is gone all queer,” Nora complained.
“Give her a chance, child,” Nana told her. “It’s early days yet.”
Later she had heard Nana tell Mom to make some effort for the children, but Mom did not seem to be listening.
It was Jack who had decided that they should go back to school.
Peter objected sullenly. “I’m not going to school,” he said; “I’m going to stay here and run this place like my father did.”
“Peter,” Jack said firmly, “you’ll be finished in the Glen this summer and then will be time enough to make decisions.”
“I should be running Mossgrove, not you,” Peter said mutinously.
“That’s Conway talk,” Jack told him sharply, and Nora knew that he had hit home when Peter’s face went red.
“Listen, Peter,” Jack said kindly, “this is a quiet time of year, and if you milk the cows with me morning and evening we’ll manage until it gets busy, and then you’ll have holidays and we’ll take it from there.”
“All right,” Peter agreed reluctantly, but Nora felt sure that he was secretly relieved to be going back to school.
They
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