she added
hesitantly.
“Great, so everyone wants me to just roll with it
and change? Even you?” I said defensively.
“I don’t, but you’re stuck there.”
“My God, you’re starting to sound more and
more like your parents.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she retorted.
“Forget it.”I knew I was being grouchy, but things
had been strange between us since she started dating
my crush.
“Fine…look, sorry it’s not working out. Hey,
maybe I’ll visit you over Christmas?”
But by Christmas I’d be a different girl.
“Yeah,” I breathed.
“Bye, Hun, keep in touch.”
“Sure, bye, Bec.” I didn’t ask about her life. I
couldn’t bear to hear how in love she was.
I wasn’t in the mood. We had fallen off the same
wavelength after they became a twosome and now
the distance made it worse. Our friendship was dying
a slow death.
I’d hoped she could make the situation here
clearer for me, but somehow I was just more confused and more alone.
6. Archangel
That night as I undressed in the bathroom mirror, I
caught sight of a discolouration on my upper arm.
I touched the mark and felt the familiar burn of a
bruise in the shape of Cresida’s fingers.
During the night I dreamt of the wolves. They
were different colours, with tanned legs that padded
through the wet earth, as they ran in the woods. One
of them stared into my face with clear as ice, blue
eyes spattered with brown specks and then it wasn’t a
white wolf ’s face - the dog’s features became smooth
and the hair over its face became luminescent white
skin, it was Sam’s face inches from my eyes. I awoke.
All the down time in Shade caused vivid dreams.
It was an image that stuck with me the next day
on the way to school, as I caught the bus. No one
from the team had called about my absence from
practice. I didn’t know if Sam would take offence to
me declining her invitation. Maybe they thought I
was making other friends, being that I had stared at
them whilst lunching with Monica and Tealy.
The day was uneventful until lunch. I waved at
Tealy only to have her assume a blank look and walk
briskly from the canteen, though my look at Monica
was surprised disappointment. She shrugged at me
also and went off after her. It wasn’t just my imagination, something was up with this whole thing,
the un-cool girls were ditching me while the coolest kids in school pursued my company – and so far
I had avoided them because my instincts told me it
was wise, especially given the whole Cresida James
strangeness. So there I sat by myself. Sam was out
on the lawn despite the overcast weather, sitting on
a bench. Giny and the rest of the gang joined her or,
rather, settled around her. I threw my lunch in the bin
and went to the library for the remainder of the hour.
I was relieved Cresida wasn’t there. I didn’t really need
the stress of confronting her. I didn’t need to suffer
any more rejection. I was disappointed I couldn’t steal
her bag for the video footage. Under the fresh spell of
my anger from being ditched at lunch by Tealy and
Monica, maybe I was capable. Sam was in my next
class and she handed me a note, touching my hand
as she did, not saying a word. I unfolded the paper
warm from her body. It read: ‘Coming to practice this
afternoon?’ in scrawling black ink. She nodded at me
with a friendly expression. I shrugged and nodded
back as the teacher began to address the class loudly. I
turned my attention to the front and then glanced at
Sam from the corner of my eye. Reid seemed to feel
my eyes, he looked my way, I flushed crimson and the
hairs on my arm stood on end. Perhaps I had enjoyed
looking at him too much. Not only did I think him
the most beautiful thing I had ever seen but that I
was infatuated. I swallowed hard and tried to steady
my heart as my pulse raced. God, how embarrassing,
I thought, as if he would even dream of acknowledging me, the chubby new girl from the
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