Read Online Winter's Gamble by Mechele Armstrong - Free Book Online
Authors: Mechele Armstrong
Tags: Contemporary, Lgbt
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white picket fence for me.” Once he’d started living the lie with her, he hadn’t known how to stop. His brother had reinforced it, threatening Neo with the worst possible outcomes like his mother’s imminent death if he ever told his secret. Well, not really threatening him, but he’d preached doom and gloom should Phil ever come clean before their mother died. “I kept thinking if I held on, I’d get…but it didn’t happen.” Life would never be the way he wanted, because Neo wasn’t an option anymore. Maybe in the months immediately after Phil had walked, but not five years later. Phil didn’t blame him on that.
“Are you out now? Out of the rear end of the closet?” The chair creaked as Neo leaned back.
Now Phil was proud of what he’d done with that. “Yeah. About a month after my mom passed, I came out to my family.” It had been hard. They’d accused him of grieving and not knowing his mind. They’d wanted him to wait before doing anything and acting on his urges. “My father disowned me. But my brother accepted it for the most part. He and his wife. I have a good friendship with them. I’m living my life the way I want to now. I’ve even had a relationship. But it ended.”
“Good for you.” There was sarcasm laced all through that comment. Phil couldn’t blame him for that.
“I’m sorry for running out on you.” He placed his arms down by his side. He didn’t know how to make this right, doubted he ever could. Nothing could change what had happened. Maybe if he told Neo exactly what he thought? “If I could go back and change how I handled things that morning, I would.” There was no going back. For either of them. “I was stupid and didn’t have a clue.”
“You’re telling the truth about all this?” Neo looked pensive. He seemed to be digesting everything that he’d been told.
“You’d know if I lied.” Neo had been particularly good at looking into others’ bullshit and calling it crap. He seemed to have a built-in lie detector. He’d known Phil’s lie from the beginning.
“Probably.” Neo got to his feet. His muscles stretched out and then relaxed as he did. He had a dancer’s grace. Sometimes he reminded Phil of a cat.
He had finally told him. He’d gotten a chance to explain himself for the wrong done so long ago. Neo walking away was all he could expect, but at least he’d told him. It was a good feeling trying to mend things between then. “I’m glad I got a chance to tell you this. I’ve wanted to. But I didn’t know how to talk to you.”
“I’m glad too. Though you still need to work on being assertive about what you want.” Neo walked to the door and locked it instead of opening it. He didn’t turn back toward Phil but stood there.
Phil arched an eyebrow. What was Neo going to do behind a locked door? Surely he wasn’t going to try to punish Phil? Or do anything extreme? All the other dancers who would use this area had gone home, and there were no more drag shows or man shows scheduled. For practical purposes, they were alone back here. “Uh, what are you doing?”
Neo turned back around and stalked toward Phil. “This.” He put one hand on the back of Phil’s head and pulled him in for a bruising kiss that left Phil’s head spinning like he was in a whirlwind. That masterful mouth knew how to deal out pleasure like the best runner of blackjack there was.
Maybe second chances were real?
Chapter Five
Neo kept control of the kiss by pulling away every time Phil tried to wrest back domination. Then he’d plunge in with his tongue again, sealing his mouth across the man’s.
What the hell are you doing?
What he’d wanted to do since Phil had marched into work at the bar on the first day. He’d been pissed off about Phil leaving him that morning, so he’d held on to that anger. But he’d wanted to do this in spite of that.
So he did. For right now.
He pulled away and placed his forehead against Phil’s. He was panting, and
“Are you out now? Out of the rear end of the closet?” The chair creaked as Neo leaned back.
Now Phil was proud of what he’d done with that. “Yeah. About a month after my mom passed, I came out to my family.” It had been hard. They’d accused him of grieving and not knowing his mind. They’d wanted him to wait before doing anything and acting on his urges. “My father disowned me. But my brother accepted it for the most part. He and his wife. I have a good friendship with them. I’m living my life the way I want to now. I’ve even had a relationship. But it ended.”
“Good for you.” There was sarcasm laced all through that comment. Phil couldn’t blame him for that.
“I’m sorry for running out on you.” He placed his arms down by his side. He didn’t know how to make this right, doubted he ever could. Nothing could change what had happened. Maybe if he told Neo exactly what he thought? “If I could go back and change how I handled things that morning, I would.” There was no going back. For either of them. “I was stupid and didn’t have a clue.”
“You’re telling the truth about all this?” Neo looked pensive. He seemed to be digesting everything that he’d been told.
“You’d know if I lied.” Neo had been particularly good at looking into others’ bullshit and calling it crap. He seemed to have a built-in lie detector. He’d known Phil’s lie from the beginning.
“Probably.” Neo got to his feet. His muscles stretched out and then relaxed as he did. He had a dancer’s grace. Sometimes he reminded Phil of a cat.
He had finally told him. He’d gotten a chance to explain himself for the wrong done so long ago. Neo walking away was all he could expect, but at least he’d told him. It was a good feeling trying to mend things between then. “I’m glad I got a chance to tell you this. I’ve wanted to. But I didn’t know how to talk to you.”
“I’m glad too. Though you still need to work on being assertive about what you want.” Neo walked to the door and locked it instead of opening it. He didn’t turn back toward Phil but stood there.
Phil arched an eyebrow. What was Neo going to do behind a locked door? Surely he wasn’t going to try to punish Phil? Or do anything extreme? All the other dancers who would use this area had gone home, and there were no more drag shows or man shows scheduled. For practical purposes, they were alone back here. “Uh, what are you doing?”
Neo turned back around and stalked toward Phil. “This.” He put one hand on the back of Phil’s head and pulled him in for a bruising kiss that left Phil’s head spinning like he was in a whirlwind. That masterful mouth knew how to deal out pleasure like the best runner of blackjack there was.
Maybe second chances were real?
Chapter Five
Neo kept control of the kiss by pulling away every time Phil tried to wrest back domination. Then he’d plunge in with his tongue again, sealing his mouth across the man’s.
What the hell are you doing?
What he’d wanted to do since Phil had marched into work at the bar on the first day. He’d been pissed off about Phil leaving him that morning, so he’d held on to that anger. But he’d wanted to do this in spite of that.
So he did. For right now.
He pulled away and placed his forehead against Phil’s. He was panting, and
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