defend myself, and in doing so, I learned to help others.”
Lucy hugged her knees to her chest. “I thought the job with the CIA was perfect for me. They trained me better than I could have ever done alone. And I was free to go where I was needed.” Grinning, she added, “I had to do some fast talking a few times in school when I left campus or was late for class, but on the job I’ve never had a report questioned or been asked about my location, and I’ve never had to punch a time clock.”
“And your parents are okay with all this?”
“It’s just my dad and me.” Leaning tiredly against the cushion with her shoulder, Lucy said, “I can remember having my first window when I was very young. I had to watch my mother die.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
Lucy sighed as she tried to pull a buried memory up to the surface of her mind. “When I was six months old, I was in a strange house. I can remember every detail of the place. I can see the crisp color of the white walls in contrast to the dark green of the carpet.” Lucy lifted her palms and touched her fingers together. “I can even remember the texture of that carpet under my hands as I crawled.”
Looking up past the television, she pointed at the wall. “There was a colorful neon sign lit up. It was a Hamm’s Beer sign, with a bear sitting in a canoe at the top of a moving waterfall. It was mesmerizing.”
“Lucy, kids that young can’t remember things.” Johnny sat upright. “And they certainly can’t read.”
“I know, but I’ve had nightmares about this so many times that it’s been pressed into my memory. I’ll never forget it.” She took a shallow breath as her chest tightened like drying leather, remembering the terror of that night. “I started to crawl toward the hallway because I could hear my mother and a man yelling at each other. I could see her with her long blonde hair down past her waist. She was wearing a lavender t-shirt, and she had on a long skirt. I couldn’t see all of the man, but his voice sounded familiar—somehow. He was just inside the bedroom at the end of the hall.”
Lucy took another breath, slowly letting it back out before she continued. “And then suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I felt that icy wind hit me, and all the color in the house disappeared. The Hamm’s sign wasn’t moving any longer—it was in stark black and white and grays, like everything else, everything for except my mother at the end of the hallway surrounded by that deadly window.
“Then she turned and was coming toward me, but before she could get out of the bedroom, the man grabbed her and turned her toward him—he had a knife!”
Lucy stared into the face of a man she’d known for less than a day and steadied her voice. “I watched him stab my mother in the chest. Her body fell to the floor, but”—she gasped—“he didn’t stop! And then things changed. It was as if it never happened. I could hear my mother yelling at the end of the hallway. The neon sign was in color and was moving again. I realized that my mother was about to be killed. I wanted to warn her, but all I could do was cry.
“The nightmares about her death only faded after I got into the university. I was in that house, Johnny. My dad found me there after she’d been murdered.”
“How did he find you?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember if he told me. Sometimes I wondered—”
“Wondered what?”
Lucy hesitated. “Sometimes, after I woke up from having the nightmare, I got the feeling my dad had been there while she was being murdered.”
Johnny searched her face. “You think your dad killed your mother?”
“I … I don’t think so. I can’t see him doing anything violent. He’s so gentle and kind.”
“Couldn’t you recognize the sound of his voice?”
She shook her head hard enough to bring her hair down into her face. “I’ve never heard my dad yell.”
“Couldn’t you see him?”
“No—no!” Lucy pressed the
Lucy hugged her knees to her chest. “I thought the job with the CIA was perfect for me. They trained me better than I could have ever done alone. And I was free to go where I was needed.” Grinning, she added, “I had to do some fast talking a few times in school when I left campus or was late for class, but on the job I’ve never had a report questioned or been asked about my location, and I’ve never had to punch a time clock.”
“And your parents are okay with all this?”
“It’s just my dad and me.” Leaning tiredly against the cushion with her shoulder, Lucy said, “I can remember having my first window when I was very young. I had to watch my mother die.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
Lucy sighed as she tried to pull a buried memory up to the surface of her mind. “When I was six months old, I was in a strange house. I can remember every detail of the place. I can see the crisp color of the white walls in contrast to the dark green of the carpet.” Lucy lifted her palms and touched her fingers together. “I can even remember the texture of that carpet under my hands as I crawled.”
Looking up past the television, she pointed at the wall. “There was a colorful neon sign lit up. It was a Hamm’s Beer sign, with a bear sitting in a canoe at the top of a moving waterfall. It was mesmerizing.”
“Lucy, kids that young can’t remember things.” Johnny sat upright. “And they certainly can’t read.”
“I know, but I’ve had nightmares about this so many times that it’s been pressed into my memory. I’ll never forget it.” She took a shallow breath as her chest tightened like drying leather, remembering the terror of that night. “I started to crawl toward the hallway because I could hear my mother and a man yelling at each other. I could see her with her long blonde hair down past her waist. She was wearing a lavender t-shirt, and she had on a long skirt. I couldn’t see all of the man, but his voice sounded familiar—somehow. He was just inside the bedroom at the end of the hall.”
Lucy took another breath, slowly letting it back out before she continued. “And then suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I felt that icy wind hit me, and all the color in the house disappeared. The Hamm’s sign wasn’t moving any longer—it was in stark black and white and grays, like everything else, everything for except my mother at the end of the hallway surrounded by that deadly window.
“Then she turned and was coming toward me, but before she could get out of the bedroom, the man grabbed her and turned her toward him—he had a knife!”
Lucy stared into the face of a man she’d known for less than a day and steadied her voice. “I watched him stab my mother in the chest. Her body fell to the floor, but”—she gasped—“he didn’t stop! And then things changed. It was as if it never happened. I could hear my mother yelling at the end of the hallway. The neon sign was in color and was moving again. I realized that my mother was about to be killed. I wanted to warn her, but all I could do was cry.
“The nightmares about her death only faded after I got into the university. I was in that house, Johnny. My dad found me there after she’d been murdered.”
“How did he find you?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember if he told me. Sometimes I wondered—”
“Wondered what?”
Lucy hesitated. “Sometimes, after I woke up from having the nightmare, I got the feeling my dad had been there while she was being murdered.”
Johnny searched her face. “You think your dad killed your mother?”
“I … I don’t think so. I can’t see him doing anything violent. He’s so gentle and kind.”
“Couldn’t you recognize the sound of his voice?”
She shook her head hard enough to bring her hair down into her face. “I’ve never heard my dad yell.”
“Couldn’t you see him?”
“No—no!” Lucy pressed the
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