Read Online Wildlife by Fiona Wood - Free Book Online Page A

of the comboisms they teach up here, Ms. Ladislaw takes a mash-up of physical education, orienteering, first aid, biology, and geography classes that they call: The Physical World, Theory and Interaction. She is pretty nice, but suffers from a severe nose-gub tic. She is always, but always, checking around her nose. Sniff, pinch, quickswipe with the back of her hand, numerous excavations with tissues, followed by more swipes and pinches and knuckle checks. I tried counting once, but got lost after fifty-two in about ten minutes. Blow, wipe, sniff, wipe, pinch, back of hand, knuckle can happen in a matter of seconds.
    She knows her stuff, though. She’s smart and scary-fit, and has been teaching up here for about ten years, so benefits from older-sibling respect before she even gives her first class. And she is notorious for handing out painful physical-exercise punishments if anyone steps out of line. Because of this, and because people depend on the information she imparts if they plan on staying alive, everyone is basically okay for her.
    So we know how to read a map, point a compass in the right direction (north), light our portable stove (the trusty Trangia), and pack our giant packs with appropriate amounts of food for the number of nights away. We even know how to look at the night sky and the sun’s position for information. Even if there’s no sun out, and we’ve crushed or lost our compass, we can use our naked eye to deduce direction, based on the side of the rock or trunk on which lichen is growing most vigorously, i.e., the shady side, i.e., south. Once you know south, you have north, etc.
    Unfortunately, the maps don’t go anywhere useful. Where, for instance, is my map to last year, or a map to some part of my heart, or my head, that doesn’t hurt? Just round and round the mountains.

22
    “We’ll be hiking along this actual line in about an hour,” I say, poking what I hope is the right part of the map spread out on the table. “Or that line? I’m not sure.”
    “Can’t we choose which line as we go?” asks Holly. “The easy line.”
    “We need to choose now, so we can tell them our route, so they know which ledge we’ve fallen off when we don’t come back,” I say.
    “After you tell me what Ben
said
.”
    “I told you everything last night.”
    “But try to remember his exact words. Did he use the word
girlfriend
or
boyfriend
?
    “No.”
    “I’d take that as a plus,” says Lou. “Now can we please get back to the map?”
    “I don’t remember asking for your opinion,” Holly says to Lou.
    “I give it freely when it suits me,” says Lou. “Never feel you have to ask.”
    I’m warming to Lou. Not quite sure why phlegmatic is appealing, but I like the way she seems impervious to Holly’sspikes. Even I’m susceptible to them—and I’m her best friend.
    “We seem to be ‘going out.’ I’m almost sure we’re going out. That’s enough, isn’t it?”
    “Absolutely,” says Holly. “Are you going to use yesterday or the first-kiss date as your anniversary?”
    Lou looks at Holly. “Are you kidding?”
    “Anniversaries are important,” says Holly.
    “Have you hired her as your relationship manager?” Lou asks.
    “She’s doing it pro bono,” I say. It’s hard to see if Lou is more unimpressed by me or by Holly.
    “Is Ben hiking this weekend?” asks Holly.
    “I don’t know.”
    Holly sighs deeply. “You have to get into the habit of synchronizing schedules if this is going to have any hope of working.”
    Lou sighs deeply, too. “Can we make a decision about the route?”
    We stare at the map again for a full ten seconds.
    “Which way is up?” says Holly. “I mean, we’re here, but…” She is rotating the map slowly, frowning. “How does this relate to that?” She nods at the window: the actual world.
    “Didn’t you go to the survival sessions?” asks Lou.
    “Yes,” says Holly.
    “Ladislaw kind of went through it then,” I say.“Last week’s