Read Online Wild Heart by Jaci J - Free Book Online

floating on an air mattress with Holly and Row, sunbathing.
    The sun is starting to set, but it’s still hot as hell.
    Wearing an old beat up baseball cap that I think she might have stolen from me years ago and a little black bikini, I find her fascinating as fuck. The way little drops of water on her stomach catch the sunlight, how she drags her hand through the waves, treading water, it’s all so… tempting . 
    Someone tosses her a Frisbee and she tosses it back, falling off the mattress. Popping back out of the water, she laughs, her hat and glasses still on.
    I’m not the only watching her, either. A few assholes a couple docks down are staring, watching her with more interest than I like.
    I have no goddamn right to be jealous, but I am.
    It’s all good that she’s single, but I’m not sure I could live with knowing she belongs to someone else. I don’t ever want to see it, or be around it.
    “Zac!” Nadia shouts, marching towards me.
    She’s still mad, holding a grudge over the extra compliments I didn’t pay her, I suppose.
    We’ve been dating for five months now, and they sure as shit haven’t been the easiest months of my life. Nadia is not an easy woman. She requires a lot of time and attention, and if I were a better man I might be able to give it to her, but everything I do where she’s concerned is half-hearted.
    “Yeah?”
    “I wanna go out on the boat.”
    The word no almost leaves my mouth. I’d rather sit here all day on the water, watching Em be happy, but she’s not who I’m here with—Nadia is.
    Standing up from my lawn chair, I nod. “Sure. Let’s go.”
    ~~~~~~
    I spent the rest of my afternoon catering to Nadia. I listened to her complain and whine while keeping my eye on the woman making her way towards me now.
    With the boats anchored together at the dock, I watch Emerson damn near crawl from Justin’s to mine, wobbly and unstable, smiling at me.
    “Long time no see.” Em winks and claims the seat next to me. Kicking her bare feet up, she takes the beer from my hands and takes a drink. “How’s it hangin’, homeslice?” she laughs, nudging my knee with hers.
    That wild heart of hers is always there, on the surface, shiny and bright. It’s infectious.
    “Not as good as you, I’m guessin’.” She’s drunk. Em has always been a fun drunk. It may have been fun in the past, but now it’s awkward. I don’t know how to talk to her anymore. I can’t touch her, look at her, kiss her the way I used to. Now, I’m unsure as fuck around her.
    As corny as it is, in my heart she’ll always be my girl. It’s my head that’s all fucked up.
    “Zac…”
    I want to touch her. I want to tear her clothes off her body and claim her as mine again. I want to consume her. But I also want to be faithful to Nadia. 
    “Hey, are you okay?” she asks, touching my hand.
    Pulling my hand away from hers, I shake my fucked up head.
    “No.”
    Emerson doesn’t look shocked or confused. She looks like she sympathizes with every goddamn thing I’m feeling. She’s been here and she’s lived it. We’re living through it together.
    “Are we ever gonna be okay?”
    “I don’t know.” It’s the truth. I don’t know if we will ever be right. There’s nothing I want more than to forget everything, forgive her, and move on with my life.
    I don’t know how to do this. The girl was my everything, the love of my life. We didn’t lose touch with one another, and we didn’t grow apart like most relationships do. There was no closure. It was there one day, gone the next. Text messages and phone calls couldn’t replace being together, seeing each other every day. I don’t know how to forgive and forget. I don’t know how I can ever see her as just a friend.
    Her return has brought out shit in me I never wanted to remember. The distance made everything bearable, but now, I can’t seem to work my feelings out. She’s the only true relationship I’ve ever had, and the only one I’d