side without a care in the world. Don’t you think we merit more respect?”
“I think we do,” mused Lizard. “How about you monkeys?” The gray-furred pair nodded enthusiastically.
Faster than I could track, Four-Arms pulled a gun on me. “How about you get down on your knees and explain yourself?”
Oh fuck, oh fuck. If I ran, I’d get shot. There wasn’t time for this, though. Dropping the cane, I lifted my hands, then carefully got down onto my knees. “Hey, I’m not here to cause any trouble,” I said softly. The guy with the gun grinned and came closer, not holstering it but not firing either. “I have an invitation from Maggot.”
“Easy to say. Let me see it.”
And let him take it from me and destroy it, maybe? That wasn’t happening, not if I could help it. “Here.” I reached into my pocket, very slowly, and held it up. “This is it.” Come closer, c’mon, you know you want to. What did he have to fear from me, after all? I kept Outside Me calm while Inside Me started cranking up the paranoia. I knew what it felt like to have a target on my back, and this situation was ten times worse than being confronted by Pinky yesterday. It was a frenzy of anxiety and frantic aggression, akin to the sensation being strapped down in a chair, held completely immobile while someone shaved my head bald and jabbed me with huge needles full of life-changing green goo. It was the freewheeling panic I’d done my damnedest to train myself out of feeling, because I hated to hurt Raul if he touched me at the wrong time.
Right now, though? I was fine with sharing that anguish and fear. Four-Arms reached out to take the card, and as his fingers made contact I grabbed his wrist. The muzzle of his gun swung around to get a bead on me, but I’d already started to overtake his id, and what I wanted more than anything was him shooting everyone but me. I wanted it with every ounce of energy I had, and he responded. He aimed his gun behind himself and shot Lizard square in the chest. The monkeys scrambled away but he got them as well, one in the back, one in the leg. They howled in agonized unison, but they were still alive.
Four-Arms was shaking with adrenaline, all eyes casting around for more threats. I pulled myself to my feet and clung to his waist, tempering the strength of my influence slightly.
“We’ll walk there together,” I whispered in his ear. “Nice and easy. If someone tries to attack us, shoot them. Don’t hesitate.”
“Yeah—yuh, yeah, okay—”
“We’ll get through this.” I guided us around Lizard’s twitching body, resolutely not looking at it head on. I’d just killed this man. I hadn’t pulled the trigger, but I’d killed him, I was responsible for this. I was a murderer.
No, no. I couldn’t think about that now, I didn’t have the time for remorse or guilt. My mind had had about all the shocks it could handle, and I had to stay focused. I had to get to Raul. It was hard to hold back my self-loathing when I ended up stepping in a puddle of the man’s blood, though.
Getting distracted was bad for keeping Four-Arms in line. One minute we were moving along just fine, and the next Four-Arms shuddered in my grasp, like he’d just woken up from a nightmare. He swung the gun toward my head again, and my sudden panic brought down the wall between Inside Me and Outside Me. It was all just me, desperate that he not shoot, and his finger paused, the trigger half-pulled.
“No,” I whispered to him. “Not me. Not me.” I have to get to Raul, I have to. “We’re in this together now. You’ll be fine as long as you stay focused, okay? Focus on keeping us safe.”
Four-Arms shuddered but turned his gun away from me again. “O—okay.”
We were within a block of #5; I could actually make out the ruined bronze gate at the front of the property, when Vibro turned up.
“Don’t come any fucking closer!” Four-Arms shrieked at her, his voice breaking in such a high register.
“I think we do,” mused Lizard. “How about you monkeys?” The gray-furred pair nodded enthusiastically.
Faster than I could track, Four-Arms pulled a gun on me. “How about you get down on your knees and explain yourself?”
Oh fuck, oh fuck. If I ran, I’d get shot. There wasn’t time for this, though. Dropping the cane, I lifted my hands, then carefully got down onto my knees. “Hey, I’m not here to cause any trouble,” I said softly. The guy with the gun grinned and came closer, not holstering it but not firing either. “I have an invitation from Maggot.”
“Easy to say. Let me see it.”
And let him take it from me and destroy it, maybe? That wasn’t happening, not if I could help it. “Here.” I reached into my pocket, very slowly, and held it up. “This is it.” Come closer, c’mon, you know you want to. What did he have to fear from me, after all? I kept Outside Me calm while Inside Me started cranking up the paranoia. I knew what it felt like to have a target on my back, and this situation was ten times worse than being confronted by Pinky yesterday. It was a frenzy of anxiety and frantic aggression, akin to the sensation being strapped down in a chair, held completely immobile while someone shaved my head bald and jabbed me with huge needles full of life-changing green goo. It was the freewheeling panic I’d done my damnedest to train myself out of feeling, because I hated to hurt Raul if he touched me at the wrong time.
Right now, though? I was fine with sharing that anguish and fear. Four-Arms reached out to take the card, and as his fingers made contact I grabbed his wrist. The muzzle of his gun swung around to get a bead on me, but I’d already started to overtake his id, and what I wanted more than anything was him shooting everyone but me. I wanted it with every ounce of energy I had, and he responded. He aimed his gun behind himself and shot Lizard square in the chest. The monkeys scrambled away but he got them as well, one in the back, one in the leg. They howled in agonized unison, but they were still alive.
Four-Arms was shaking with adrenaline, all eyes casting around for more threats. I pulled myself to my feet and clung to his waist, tempering the strength of my influence slightly.
“We’ll walk there together,” I whispered in his ear. “Nice and easy. If someone tries to attack us, shoot them. Don’t hesitate.”
“Yeah—yuh, yeah, okay—”
“We’ll get through this.” I guided us around Lizard’s twitching body, resolutely not looking at it head on. I’d just killed this man. I hadn’t pulled the trigger, but I’d killed him, I was responsible for this. I was a murderer.
No, no. I couldn’t think about that now, I didn’t have the time for remorse or guilt. My mind had had about all the shocks it could handle, and I had to stay focused. I had to get to Raul. It was hard to hold back my self-loathing when I ended up stepping in a puddle of the man’s blood, though.
Getting distracted was bad for keeping Four-Arms in line. One minute we were moving along just fine, and the next Four-Arms shuddered in my grasp, like he’d just woken up from a nightmare. He swung the gun toward my head again, and my sudden panic brought down the wall between Inside Me and Outside Me. It was all just me, desperate that he not shoot, and his finger paused, the trigger half-pulled.
“No,” I whispered to him. “Not me. Not me.” I have to get to Raul, I have to. “We’re in this together now. You’ll be fine as long as you stay focused, okay? Focus on keeping us safe.”
Four-Arms shuddered but turned his gun away from me again. “O—okay.”
We were within a block of #5; I could actually make out the ruined bronze gate at the front of the property, when Vibro turned up.
“Don’t come any fucking closer!” Four-Arms shrieked at her, his voice breaking in such a high register.
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