Read Online Where Love Grows by Jerry S. Eicher - Free Book Online
Authors: Jerry S. Eicher
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so when I dropped him off at his apartment. He asked me to go out with him!
April 2, 1964
Spring has arrived in St. Louis, but I can think of little besides Menno and how much he means to me. How can someone love a man so much and be loved back so much? We never talk about what lies ahead of us. I know there are many differences between us, but why canât they be solved? Love can solve anything, can it not?
May 11, 1964
Another partyâat my place this time. Menno came, of course. He still doesnât own a car, which bothers me a little. Does he think about the future and about us? We are so much in love, so why disturb the sacred with questions? It will always be enough to know that I was privileged to have once loved such a man.
June 16, 1964
Menno was here last night, and we had another of our sweet times together. When he was leaving, I almost asked him what he plans to do when his time of service is over. But I couldnât get up the courage. Menno must have sensed my troubled spirit because he finally told me heâs returning home soon.
I know he was just talking for a visit, but I think he meant something beyond that. I could see it in his eyes. Heâs never going to leave what he grew up with. And I doubt if I can go his way. I could visit his folks and find out. But with the little hints Menno drops, I donât think such a life would be for me. We are worlds apart. Yet surely somehow love can bridge the gap, canât it? I think it will have to or my heart will be torn apart. And yet how? I cannot begin to imagine.
July 10, 1964
The worst thing has happened. I thought in my foolishness that this might even draw us together into a permanent union as man and wife. Perhaps thatâs why I was careless, but I donât even want to think about the reasons now. I will have to be strong and brave for the both of us. If I really love Menno, I will do what is best for him.
I will tell him what isnât true to save what is true. I love Menno too much to destroy what he counts so precious at home. After all these months, I know him well enough to understand how he thinks. Heâs going back to a world I have never been a part of. And itâs a world I know I never can be a part of.
I will tell him tomorrow what the doctor saidâ¦and what the doctor didnât say. That I am with childâ¦and that I lost the child.
It will be sad for him. He will not want to think of a babyâhis babyâdying, even if it means things will work out better in the long run. The fact is, Menno leaves in a few weeks. Not for a visit but because his term of service is over. I will not be showing before he leaves, and he never needs to know the truth.
I pray that God will give him a wife and children who will love him as Menno deserves to be loved. For me, it will be enough if Iâm able to find a decent home for our child. I will then spend my life in sackcloth and ashes. Thatâs all I am worthy of. This was never Mennoâs planâ¦it was mine. And I need to be the one to decide what will make all three of us the happiest.
Donald closed the tablet. So his fatherâs name was Menno. But Menno what ? He would look tomorrow for more clues, reading more thoroughly instead of skipping dates. He would look for a last name and, above all, a location. Surely Carol had mentioned it somewhere.
If not, he would still find his birth father somehow and approach him cautiously. Perhaps his birth father wouldnât be so anxious to meet him, especially if he now had a wife and children and perhaps even grandchildren. And certainly if he was still living in that strange religious communityâthe Amishâof his.
C HAPTER S EVEN
T he next morning, with the wedding quickly approaching in two days, the preparations were fully underway. For her part, Susan was sweeping the cobwebs from the barn beams. Maurice showed up in a white apron and carrying a broom.
âYour mom sent me to
April 2, 1964
Spring has arrived in St. Louis, but I can think of little besides Menno and how much he means to me. How can someone love a man so much and be loved back so much? We never talk about what lies ahead of us. I know there are many differences between us, but why canât they be solved? Love can solve anything, can it not?
May 11, 1964
Another partyâat my place this time. Menno came, of course. He still doesnât own a car, which bothers me a little. Does he think about the future and about us? We are so much in love, so why disturb the sacred with questions? It will always be enough to know that I was privileged to have once loved such a man.
June 16, 1964
Menno was here last night, and we had another of our sweet times together. When he was leaving, I almost asked him what he plans to do when his time of service is over. But I couldnât get up the courage. Menno must have sensed my troubled spirit because he finally told me heâs returning home soon.
I know he was just talking for a visit, but I think he meant something beyond that. I could see it in his eyes. Heâs never going to leave what he grew up with. And I doubt if I can go his way. I could visit his folks and find out. But with the little hints Menno drops, I donât think such a life would be for me. We are worlds apart. Yet surely somehow love can bridge the gap, canât it? I think it will have to or my heart will be torn apart. And yet how? I cannot begin to imagine.
July 10, 1964
The worst thing has happened. I thought in my foolishness that this might even draw us together into a permanent union as man and wife. Perhaps thatâs why I was careless, but I donât even want to think about the reasons now. I will have to be strong and brave for the both of us. If I really love Menno, I will do what is best for him.
I will tell him what isnât true to save what is true. I love Menno too much to destroy what he counts so precious at home. After all these months, I know him well enough to understand how he thinks. Heâs going back to a world I have never been a part of. And itâs a world I know I never can be a part of.
I will tell him tomorrow what the doctor saidâ¦and what the doctor didnât say. That I am with childâ¦and that I lost the child.
It will be sad for him. He will not want to think of a babyâhis babyâdying, even if it means things will work out better in the long run. The fact is, Menno leaves in a few weeks. Not for a visit but because his term of service is over. I will not be showing before he leaves, and he never needs to know the truth.
I pray that God will give him a wife and children who will love him as Menno deserves to be loved. For me, it will be enough if Iâm able to find a decent home for our child. I will then spend my life in sackcloth and ashes. Thatâs all I am worthy of. This was never Mennoâs planâ¦it was mine. And I need to be the one to decide what will make all three of us the happiest.
Donald closed the tablet. So his fatherâs name was Menno. But Menno what ? He would look tomorrow for more clues, reading more thoroughly instead of skipping dates. He would look for a last name and, above all, a location. Surely Carol had mentioned it somewhere.
If not, he would still find his birth father somehow and approach him cautiously. Perhaps his birth father wouldnât be so anxious to meet him, especially if he now had a wife and children and perhaps even grandchildren. And certainly if he was still living in that strange religious communityâthe Amishâof his.
C HAPTER S EVEN
T he next morning, with the wedding quickly approaching in two days, the preparations were fully underway. For her part, Susan was sweeping the cobwebs from the barn beams. Maurice showed up in a white apron and carrying a broom.
âYour mom sent me to
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