Read Online When the Snow Fell by Henning Mankell - Free Book Online

to.”
    “Of course you meant to,” she said. “Why else would you start throwing glasses around?”
    Joel was still staring at his feet. He hadn’t the slightest idea what to say. He couldn’t possibly tell her that he suddenly found her revolting. That all he could see was the nose she didn’t have on her face.
    When he glanced up at her, he could see that her expression was very worried. A beam of light from the moon was illuminating her face. He had a guilty conscience.
    “It was nothing,” he mumbled.
    Now he could look at her again. She looked him in the eye.
    “I think you’re growing up,” she said.
    That was something Joel was pleased to hear. That he was growing up. But there again, there was something in her tone of voice that worried him. What did she mean by saying that just now?
    That was the kind of thing that grown-ups often did. Joel knew that he would have to learn—the most important thing was often not what was said.
    But when it was said.
    “There’s nobody as childish as I am,” he said.
    She shook her head.
    “You’re growing up,” she said again. “And before long, one of these days, you’ll have forgotten that I exist. You might even fail to greet me when we meet in the street. Or you’ll cross over to the other side.”
    Joel stared at her in astonishment.
    “Why shouldn’t I greet you?”
    “Because you’re embarrassed.”
    “What should I be embarrassed about?”
    She replied by asking a question.
    “Why did you throw that glass at the wall?”
    If Joel had been holding a glass at that moment, he’d have hurled it at the wall. He wouldn’t have cared less if he’d woken Samuel up.
    Her questions made him angry. He was angry because she was right.
    Even so, he shook his head.
    “I didn’t mean to,” he said. “Why were you standing out there in the street? I might not have seen you.”
    “In that case I’d have thrown a snowball at your window. You’ve shown me before which is your bedroom window.”
    “That wouldn’t have been a good idea,” Joel said. “Samuel would have woken up. And he doesn’t like me having girls in my room at this time of night.”
    If he could, he’d have bitten his tongue off. He could hear how stupid it sounded. Even if he hadn’t even started playing forfeits yet. Now she would expose him for what he was.
    But she didn’t. She said nothing.
    Instead she stood up so quickly that Joel gave a start.
    “Anyway, now I know why you threw that glass at my kitchen wall,” she said.
    “But I haven’t answered that question. All I’ve said is that I didn’t mean to.”
    “That’s enough for me,” she said. “I’m going home now. And shouldn’t you get some sleep?”
    Joel tiptoed after her into the hall. Gertrud really knew how to move without making the slightest sound. He stood in the doorway and heard that she’d remembered which steps to avoid. She didn’t leave a single creak behind.
    He watched her from his window. Just like that dog, she materialized in the light from the streetlamp, thenvanished. At that very moment he thought that she was less repulsive. At the same time, it seemed that something had changed forever that evening. But Joel couldn’t work out what it was.
    It was as if something was missing. Something that used to be there. But it had been replaced by something else. And he didn’t know what it was.
    He undressed and snuggled down into bed. He felt very tired.
    He thought about Gertud, walking home through the night. She would have reached the railway bridge by now. But he had the feeling that somebody was coming towards her from the other direction. Somebody who passed Gertrud in the middle of the bridge. Somebody Gertrud hadn’t noticed. At first he wasn’t sure who it was. But then he knew. It was Ehnström’s new shop assistant. And she was naked underneath trans parent veils. Despite the fact that it was the middle of the night, and winter was nearly here, and it was freezing cold.
    Joel