Read Online When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood by Sophia Fraioli, Lauren Kaelin - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sophia Fraioli, Lauren Kaelin
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saw James Blunt at the House Of Blues. Your parents are so BA (bad ass) hehehe
Products
----
DAD : I wish queer eye for the straight guy would come back on. now i dont know what products to use on my face. oh mom wants you to pick up maple syrup
28 Days Later
----
MOM : Just watched 28 Days Later. I liked when they went to the Fresh and Easy market, but NOT when the dad got infected.
Crisis
----
MOM : Daddy just cancelled HBO what did you do to him this we
----
MOM : He. Also cancelled Showtime
----
ME : Why?
----
MOM : Text him He is cancelling everything!!!!
ALEJANDRO
----
DAD : Eleganté, eleganté!
----
ME : What the hell is that?
----
DAD : You know! That girl. Lady Gaga!
----
ME : . . . ALEJANDRO.
Discovery
----
MOM : Are you watching tv?
----
ME : No, why?
----
MOM : There’s a great show on discovery fit and health
----
ME : What is it?
----
MOM : It’s called my teens a nightmare, I’m moving out
----
ME : .......
----
MOM : I’m taking notes
Life Is Hard
----
MOM : Ok i have a big problem. You think u have it so bad. Wait until i tell u mine.. ok your dad is going to change back to dish network tomorrow n that means i have to watch two weeks of soap operas tonight before they get erased tomorrow. Call me i need to talk to someone about this
Harajuku Girls
----
MOM : Will your little cousin Nat like a Harajuku girls bag for christmas
----
MOM : It’s cheap cause Im at Marshalls
----
MOM : Wait the harajuku girls look kinda slutty
----
MOM : Dad said no
----
MOM : BUT I LOVE GWEN STEFANI
Ina Garten
----
DAD : WHATS A CONTESSA AND WHY IS SHE BAREFOOT
XOXO
----
MOM : Guess who’s super hot mom just spotted Blair’s stepdad slurping noodles at a japanese joint in Chelsea. xoxo Gossip Mom*
*A deciding factor in choosing our fantastic literary agent was the fact that his fourteen-year-old daughter submitted this text from his wife.
TV Guide
----
ME : I’m bored
----
MOM : Star Wars is on spike. Princess Diaries is on Hallmark. Grease is on abc Family.
PG-13
----
MOM : Did you see the facebook movie
----
ME : Yeah . . . why?
----
MOM : You didn’t tell me they curse:o
Disgusted
----
ME : Going to see the Justin Bieber movie!!
----
MOM : (:&)
----
ME : What?
----
MOM : That’s my disgusted face. I hate the Beeb.
Backstreets Back
----
MOM : Just landed and had Brian Litttrlle from backstreet kids on in First class he said to tell my daughters hello he is so Nice
Ke$ha
----
MOM : How do you pronounce Ke$ha? Like Key”dollar sign”haa.
----
MOM : Or is it Key”dolla sign”haa, bc that’s more hip? Call me and tell me!
Moulin Rouge
----
DAD : Have you seen Mallin Rougue?
----
ME : You mean Moulin Rouge?
----
DAD : Yea the one with the red wheel barrel and Nickole Kidman*
*There is no such thing as a “wheel barrel.”
3D
----
ME : K, dad I bought the tickets.
----
DAD : better be for the 3d version.
----
ME : aren’t we a little too old for that?
----
DAD : 3d or return tickets.
Impressions
----
MOM : How much???? (said like Borat)
Jersey Shore
----
MOM : Jersey Shore est gross
----
ME : So incredible.
----
MOM : snooki a mis ses foufounes dans le refrigirateur!!!*
*Translates to:
“Jersey Shore
is gross
.”
“Snooki put her fanny in the refrigerator.” (“Booty” is also acceptable.)
HARRY POTTER
Lauren:
Each member of my family loves Harry Potter in their own way. My mom read it in book club; my dad listened to the books on tape. My sister, a fourth-grade teacher, discusses the symbolism with her students, and my brother, though he won’t admit it, has read every one.
I have preordered the past three books and camped out at midnight for the designated “Kaelin copy.” I get first dibs because I go to the bookstore, then it’s passed to my sister, then to my mom, and then my brother will inconspicuously read the whole book
Products
----
DAD : I wish queer eye for the straight guy would come back on. now i dont know what products to use on my face. oh mom wants you to pick up maple syrup
28 Days Later
----
MOM : Just watched 28 Days Later. I liked when they went to the Fresh and Easy market, but NOT when the dad got infected.
Crisis
----
MOM : Daddy just cancelled HBO what did you do to him this we
----
MOM : He. Also cancelled Showtime
----
ME : Why?
----
MOM : Text him He is cancelling everything!!!!
ALEJANDRO
----
DAD : Eleganté, eleganté!
----
ME : What the hell is that?
----
DAD : You know! That girl. Lady Gaga!
----
ME : . . . ALEJANDRO.
Discovery
----
MOM : Are you watching tv?
----
ME : No, why?
----
MOM : There’s a great show on discovery fit and health
----
ME : What is it?
----
MOM : It’s called my teens a nightmare, I’m moving out
----
ME : .......
----
MOM : I’m taking notes
Life Is Hard
----
MOM : Ok i have a big problem. You think u have it so bad. Wait until i tell u mine.. ok your dad is going to change back to dish network tomorrow n that means i have to watch two weeks of soap operas tonight before they get erased tomorrow. Call me i need to talk to someone about this
Harajuku Girls
----
MOM : Will your little cousin Nat like a Harajuku girls bag for christmas
----
MOM : It’s cheap cause Im at Marshalls
----
MOM : Wait the harajuku girls look kinda slutty
----
MOM : Dad said no
----
MOM : BUT I LOVE GWEN STEFANI
Ina Garten
----
DAD : WHATS A CONTESSA AND WHY IS SHE BAREFOOT
XOXO
----
MOM : Guess who’s super hot mom just spotted Blair’s stepdad slurping noodles at a japanese joint in Chelsea. xoxo Gossip Mom*
*A deciding factor in choosing our fantastic literary agent was the fact that his fourteen-year-old daughter submitted this text from his wife.
TV Guide
----
ME : I’m bored
----
MOM : Star Wars is on spike. Princess Diaries is on Hallmark. Grease is on abc Family.
PG-13
----
MOM : Did you see the facebook movie
----
ME : Yeah . . . why?
----
MOM : You didn’t tell me they curse:o
Disgusted
----
ME : Going to see the Justin Bieber movie!!
----
MOM : (:&)
----
ME : What?
----
MOM : That’s my disgusted face. I hate the Beeb.
Backstreets Back
----
MOM : Just landed and had Brian Litttrlle from backstreet kids on in First class he said to tell my daughters hello he is so Nice
Ke$ha
----
MOM : How do you pronounce Ke$ha? Like Key”dollar sign”haa.
----
MOM : Or is it Key”dolla sign”haa, bc that’s more hip? Call me and tell me!
Moulin Rouge
----
DAD : Have you seen Mallin Rougue?
----
ME : You mean Moulin Rouge?
----
DAD : Yea the one with the red wheel barrel and Nickole Kidman*
*There is no such thing as a “wheel barrel.”
3D
----
ME : K, dad I bought the tickets.
----
DAD : better be for the 3d version.
----
ME : aren’t we a little too old for that?
----
DAD : 3d or return tickets.
Impressions
----
MOM : How much???? (said like Borat)
Jersey Shore
----
MOM : Jersey Shore est gross
----
ME : So incredible.
----
MOM : snooki a mis ses foufounes dans le refrigirateur!!!*
*Translates to:
“Jersey Shore
is gross
.”
“Snooki put her fanny in the refrigerator.” (“Booty” is also acceptable.)
HARRY POTTER
Lauren:
Each member of my family loves Harry Potter in their own way. My mom read it in book club; my dad listened to the books on tape. My sister, a fourth-grade teacher, discusses the symbolism with her students, and my brother, though he won’t admit it, has read every one.
I have preordered the past three books and camped out at midnight for the designated “Kaelin copy.” I get first dibs because I go to the bookstore, then it’s passed to my sister, then to my mom, and then my brother will inconspicuously read the whole book
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