Read Online When I Was Otherwise by Stephen Benatar - Free Book Online Page A

little shake.
    â€œYes, I know that , dear.”
    She passed one hand across her forehead and spoke almost with vehemence.
    â€œI meant, of course—I wonder what she’s doing now, in the afterlife. Don’t you believe in heaven? Don’t you believe that we go on ?”
    â€œYes…I think I do.”
    â€œWell, then?” She put her hand back to her forehead, kept it there a little, shaded her eyes with it. “Don’t go for just a minute, there’s a dear.”
    â€œAren’t you feeling well, Daisy?”
    â€œOh—as well as I ever do! But I think somebody must have walked over my grave, that’s all. What a ridiculous expression! Before they did so I hope they at least had the manners to wipe their boots!”
    Marsha began to relax. “You’re not sitting in a draught or something?”
    â€œYes, I am. I’m sitting in a something. I’m sitting in a bed.”
    â€œOh, you chump!”
    They chuckled.
    But, after a moment, Marsha administered one further test.
    â€œWhat do you think heaven will be like, Daisy?”
    â€œA colossal bore, most likely.”
    â€œOh—you don’t!”
    â€œIt all depends what types you’ll have to mix with. Suppose I found myself surrounded by a lot of idiotic women engaging in good works? Them , of course, not me—all gracious and condescending and holier-than-thou! (Well, that’s my view of it, anyway. I could be talking through my hat. I very often do!) Or suppose I was forced, for the sake of redeeming my lost and shabby soul, to attend meetings given by the Mother’s Union: suppose I had to be polite to my own mother let alone to yours? I don’t think I could stand it.” (There seemed nothing much wrong there , Marsha thought.) “Though that was just my little joke, dear, as I’m very sure you realize.”
    â€œYes, Daisy, of course.”
    â€œGreat Scot! I do believe you’re growing quite broad-minded in your old age! There’s hope for you yet!”
    â€œOh, good! I am relieved!”
    â€œNo, but I don’t really mean it, dear—you know me—not a word. Shall I tell you what I intend to do the minute I arrive?”
    â€œIn heaven?”
    â€œYes. Paint the town red; you might have guessed. ‘Good Lord,’ they’ll say, ‘what’s this the wind’s blown in? Hold on to your hats, boys! This place will never be the same—oh, hallelujah !’ Apart from which, I intend to catch up on a few of the shows I was sorry to have missed in London. I mean, I’d like to see Burbage and Garrick and Kean. And—of course—keep up with all that’s going on when I’m no longer here to see it.”
    But Marsha shook her head. Smiling. Bewildered.
    â€œOh, Daisy, how can that be? What’s past is past. Nothing can bring it back.”
    â€œOh, ye of little faith!”
    â€œWell, it’s no good pretending that I understand! But do you really believe it might be possible?”
    â€œI do! I do! If that’s the sort of thing you’re after.”
    â€œThen I’ll just have to think about it. I know I’ve never been as clever as you, Daisy.”
    â€œâ€˜Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever.’”
    It was a moment of rare harmony between them.
    â€œAnd do you know how else I see it?” asked Daisy. “I see it as a sort of might-have-been place, where you can relive your life as it really ought to have been. All the right people responding in the right way. Your true potential unimpeded. I wouldn’t mind , dear, finding myself in a place like that. Would you?”
    â€œNo, it sounds quite beautiful.”
    â€œAnd probably all poppycock if the truth were known!”
    â€œI shan’t believe that!”
    â€œYou please yourself, dear. You’ll be as mad as I am before you’re through!”
    Marsha stood up. “Well, Daisy, in