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was then I began really to get scared.
    I told myself I must be out of my mind to get involved in a thing like this. If we were caught. . .
    To get my mind off it, I said, “What’s this guy Lowenstien to you?”
    She shifted. I had an idea I had touched a sore point.
    “He’s nothing to me.”
    “Don’t tell me! How did you get to know a rat like him? He takes after your pal Wilbur.”
    “You’re a fine one to talk with your scarred face! Who do you imagine you are?”
    I clenched my fist and punched her hard on her thigh.
    “Shut up about my face!”
    “Then shut up about my friends!”
    I had a sudden idea.
    “Of course – you get the stuff from him! He’s got peddler written all over him.”
    “You hurt me!”
    “There are times when I could strangle you. He’s the rat you get your drugs from, isn’t he?”
    “What if he is? I have to get it from someone, don’t I?”
    “I must be nuts to have anything to do with you!”
    “You hate me, don’t you?”
    “Hate doesn’t come into it.”
    “You’re the first man who hasn’t wanted to sleep with me,” she said, her tone bitter.
    “I’m not interested in women.”
    “You’re in as much a mess as I am only you don’t seem to know it.”
    “Oh, go to hell!” I said, furious with her. I knew she was right. I had been in a mess ever since I had come out of hospital, and what was more, I had grown to like being in a mess.
    “I’ll tell you something now,” she said softly. “I hate you. I know you are good for me: I know you could save me, but all the same I hate you. I’ll never forget how you treated me when you blackmailed me about the police. Watch out, Jeff. I’ll get my own back for that even if we go into business together.”
    “You try anything funny with me,” I said, glaring in her direction in the darkness, “and I’ll give you a hiding. That’s what you want: a damn good hiding.”
    She suddenly giggled.
    “Maybe I do. Wilbur used to beat me.”
    I moved away from her. She was so corrupt and horrible it made me sick to be close to her.
    “What’s the time?” she asked.
    I looked at the luminous hands of my watch.
    “Half past ten.”
    “Let’s go.”
    That set my heart thumping.
    “Do they have guards here?”
    “Guards? What for?”
    She was already crawling away from me, and I went after her. A few seconds later we were standing together in the darkness, near the exit of the Studio. We paused to listen.
    There wasn’t a sound.
    “I’ll lead the way,” she said. “Keep close to me.”
    We moved out of the Studio into the hot, dark night. There were stars, but the moon hadn’t come up yet. I could just see her as she paused to look into the darkness, the way I was looking.
    “Are you scared?” she asked, moving close to me. I hated the feel of her slight, hot body, but my back was against the wall of the studio and I couldn’t get away from her. “I’m not. This sort of job never scares me, but I think you’re scared.”
    “Okay, so I’m scared,” I said, shoving her away. “Does that satisfy you?”
    “You don’t have to be. They can’t do anything to you worse than you have already done to yourself. That’s something I’m always telling myself.”
    “You’re nuts! What kind of talk is that supposed to be?”
    “Come on,” she said. “Let’s get the money. It’ll be easy.”
    She moved away into the darkness and I followed her.
    All day, she had been carrying a sling bag over her shoulder. When she paused outside the casting director’s bungalow, I heard her zip the bag open.
    I stood close to her, listening, aware of the thudding of my heart beats, feeling my blood pounding through my veins and I was scared silly.
    I heard her fiddling with the lock. She must have been very expert. In a few seconds, I heard the lock snap back.
    Together we entered the dark office. We paused, waiting for our eyes to become used to the faint light from the stars we could see through the uncurtained