Read Online What Kills Me by Wynne Channing - Free Book Online Page A

the climax of a wave, which was about to hurl me
against the cliffs. I gasped and dived under. I kicked in the other
direction. The current pushed against me but I sank deeper until
the ocean floor and its sand and pebbles and jagged bits pressed
against my stomach and scratched my knees.
    I don’t know how long I stayed there
or how long I swam. I don’t know when I realized that I didn’t need
to take a breath.
     
    ***
     
    I awoke face down in mud. Water surged
over my legs and receded, pulling sand and debris from under my
body and back into the ocean. I remembered swimming. I could have
been swimming all day. I flopped over onto my back and tried to rub
away the dirt caked on my eyelids and the hair matted to my face,
but my hands were covered in soil and my chains were tangled in
dead plants. My tongue tasted salt and earth. Granules of sand
crunched between my teeth. I ached with hunger.
    The setting sun had left angry red
streaks across the lavender sky. The splotches of purple on the
horizon looked like fresh bruises.
    I rolled over and crawled away from
the shore until the dirt and sand became grass. I stood up slowly
and staggered toward a forest, crunching twigs under my bare feet.
Leaning on a tree I put my hand to my chest, and my thumb slid
under a soft chain.
    After all that had happened, I was
still wearing the necklace that Paolo had given me. I gripped the
pendant and tore it from my neck. The chain snapped. With a cry I
launched it into the trees.
    I am finally
free.
    Freedom. Relief. Triumph. I allowed
myself to feel those things. I let out a laugh and then a sob. I
wove wearily through the trees and descended into a ravine. I saw
only snippets of the sky through the green canopy. I gathered the
length of chain dragging between my legs and wrapped it around my
hands. I trudged farther, and soon the sound of water faded and was
replaced by the rustle of leaves and the song of insects. It
comforted me. I let my mind go blank for the first time in days and
I just walked. A sleepwalker.
    The light receded and night took over.
I could still see the forest before me, although everything
appeared in shades of gray.
    I survived the sun. That
makes me not a vampire. But I have night vision and I swam along
the ocean floor for hours. That makes me a vampire. Is there an
in-between?
    I pushed through branches
and the constant crackling assailed my ears. My body felt like it
was filled with pulp. Every step was work. I leaned on a muscular
tree and scanned the woods, looking for a place to rest. Across a
small clearing I saw something gleam. What
is that? Squinting, I shuffled toward it.
Closer, it looked like a silver line drawn on a tree trunk. It’s a chain. I reached
up and took the tiny chain in my hand. I gave it a tug but it was
stuck to the tree. I dug my fingers into the bark and pried the
silver object out of the tree.
    It was my necklace.
    Confused, I looked
around. I don’t understand. How did this
get here? My tired mind remembered
throwing this away. I did. I threw this
away. Didn’t I? A small gasp escaped my
lips. Had I thrown it this far? Had I thrown it hard enough to
embed it into a tree?
    “What the…”
    In response, I heard a toad croaking.
It was squatting at the base of a moss-covered tree trunk, blowing
its throat into a huge bubble. I stood, staring at it, waiting for
it to leave but it didn’t move. And I was thankful because it eased
my loneliness.
    “You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve
just had,” I said.
    No answer. I crouched, facing the
toad’s glassy black eyes and throbbing gullet.
    “If this was a fairy tale, we’d kiss
and you’d turn into a prince,” I said.
    Croak.
    “It could happen. Crazier things have
happened.”
    The toad hopped away and I heard its
bloated body land in some bushes. “Thanks for the chat.”
    I felt alone again. Except that all of
a sudden, I wasn’t.
    A man stood about thirty feet from me.
A wide-brimmed hat hid his face but he was