Read Online Well-Tempered Clavicle by Piers Anthony - Free Book Online

was leading up to something. “There is something else?”
    “Picka, if I had done what I did with you just now with a living man, he would have freaked out so badly he wouldn’t have recovered for a week! But you never even noticed.”
    “I don’t understand. What didn’t I notice?”
    “My sister Eve, who is no better endowed than I am, showed the Dwarf Demon Pluto less than I just showed you, and he was so taken he married her. You saw my panties, into my bra, and I pressed my bottom against your face, and you suffered no male reaction at all.”
    He was perplexed. “Should I have?”
    “When we swam, we were children, so you wouldn’t have been turned on anyway. But now we’re adults. And you still aren’t turned on.”
    “I am sorry I disappointed you,” he said contritely. “Maybe if I had known what you wanted, I would have done better. What did you want?”
    “You didn’t disappoint me, Picka. You proved that I can trust you.”
    “Of course you can trust me. We’re friends.”
    “Yes, we are. That is extremely important to me.”
    “But why should my failure to appreciate your flesh matter? You know you are not my type. You said yourself, I don’t like meaty panties. Was that intended to be humor?”
    “Picka, I am a beautiful princess. When most men see me, they develop notions that make it difficult for us to relate as friends. So I have had very few friends in adult life, and those tended to be not exactly human, like Jumper the Spider. Even so, Eve managed to seduce him, and I could have too, if I had tried. But I couldn’t seduce you.”
    “I’m sorry,” he said contritely.
    “Don’t be! I need a male friend I can talk candidly with without having to worry that I’ll turn him on and ruin it.”
    At last he caught on. “Living men want to summon the stork with you!”
    “They do indeed. As you know, I can tell anything about anything alive. But when I’m with a man, and all he can think about is getting into my panties, I can’t relax. His lustful thoughts override all else.”
    “You talent means you can’t ignore his notions. I’m sorry I didn’t realize. You do have a problem.”
    “But I don’t have that problem with you. You don’t care whether I’m clothed or naked, far or near. You just want to help me because you’re my friend.”
    “Yes.”
    She kissed his skull. “I value that beyond words, Picka.”
    “You’re welcome.”
    “Because we’ll be going out into the wilderness, camping out, sharing dangers. You’ll be seeing me clothed and bare, maybe carrying me soaking wet out of deep water. And I’ll never have to worry about what you’re thinking.”
    “Well, you can’t tell what I’m thinking anyway, because I’m not alive.”
    “Which is why I needed to verify that you truly don’t desire my flesh.”
    “I truly don’t,” he agreed. “But I do crave your friendship.”
    “And you have it.”
    “If that was what you wanted to talk about, now you can return to your room and get some sleep.”
    “Actually I had in mind to ask you what the Good Magician talked to you about. But then I realized that this was more important.”
    “He just gave us a spell to make us alive for an hour, in case we ever needed it.”
    “Why would you want to be alive?”
    “To conceal our natures. I hope we never have to use those spells.”
    “I hope so too. If you became a live man, it would ruin our friendship.”
    Surprised, Picka worked it out. “Because then I might see you as an interesting woman.”
    “Not might; would. You would desire me.”
    “If you say so.”
    “Oh Picka, I hope you never have occasion to have your doubt destroyed.”
    “I hope so too.” But he remained curious about one thing. “Surely you could get a palace guard, maybe a swordsman, or a swordswoman, to accompany you on your Quest. Why bother with walking skeletons or mundane pets?”
    “I want friends, not guards. And if along the way I meet my ideal man, as the Good