Read Online Wednesday the Rabbi Got Wet by Harry Kemelman - Free Book Online

do two things simultaneously, that’s normal, but sometimes it reaches the point where it paralyzes action and decision, and the result is frustration, mental distress, sometimes complete inability to function. When you assign responsibility for a portion of your decisions to someone else, as you do to your rebbe, it’s not surprising if the immediate effect is one of calm and relief. Some claim the same effect when they surrender their souls to Jesus, according to an acquaintance of mine who had been in the Jews for Jesus movement. Others invoke the Virgin Mary or a special saint, or the latest popular guru out of the East.”
    “But if it works –”
    The rabbi shrugged. “The stress involved in struggle always ends when you surrender.”
    Jonathan tugged at his father’s hand. “I’m hungry, Daddy. I want to go home.”
    “All right. Jonathan, we’ll go home.” To Akiva he said, “He’s my rebbe, you see. When he commands. I obey.”
    “Will you be going to the service tonight, Rabbi? Will I see you there?”
    “I expect to, maybe you can meet our president, Mr. Kaplan. You might find him more sympathetic to your thinking.”
    “Kaplan? Has he a daughter Leah?”
    “Yes, do you know her?”
    Akiva smiled. “I – I went to school with a Leah Kaplan.”

Chapter Thirteen
    Hey, where you been. Doc?” The voice over the phone was Joe Kestler’s, and he was indignant. “I must’ve called your house a dozen times, and there was no answer.”
    “I take Wednesday afternoons off,” said Dr. Cohen, and then was annoyed with himself for having bothered to explain.
    “Well, my father is not feeling so good, he’s awfully warm, like he’s got a temperature, and he has to go all the time, and then when he does, he complains it like burns him, and then a few minutes later he’s got to go again, he had the same thing a few months ago.”
    “I’m sorry, but –”
    “Look, Doc, don’t be like that. I know you got a right to an afternoon off, but he’s really bad.”
    “Under the circumstances. I think it would be better if you called another doctor.”
    “Where am I going to get another doctor on a Wednesday?” Kestler demanded.
    “You can take him to the hospital. I’m sure if you call the police, they’ll send an ambulance.”
    “Sure, and if he passes out in the ambulance? And if he gets to the hospital and some young squirt of a student starts tinkering with him?”
    “I’m sorry, but considering your father’s action only last month –”
    “Doctor, Doctor, that’s business. You ran your fence over our land. So my old man filed suit. It doesn’t mean anything, there’s no hard feelings. It’s just how you do things in business, the one thing has nothing to do with the other, and it’s you he keeps asking for, because he’s got confidence in you.”
    Dr. Cohen knew he should be adamant and refuse, but he could also picture the old man lying in bed, suffering. “All right,” he said, “I’ll drop by and take a look at him.”
    He hung up and said to his wife, “I’ve got to go out.”
    “But you were going to the Kaplans,” she objected.
    “Oh, I won’t be long.”
    “Who is it?”
    He hesitated, remembering how indignant she had been at the time. “It’s Kestler, the old man,” he said reluctantly.
    “And you’re going to see him!”
    “Well, he is my patient.”
    “But a man who is suing you!”
    “I suppose he feels one thing has nothing to do with the other. In a way, it’s a compliment, here, he’s suing me and still wants me for his doctor.”
    “That’s because he can’t get anybody else on a Wednesday.”
    “So I guess that’s another reason I’ve got to go.”
    “Well, if I were treating him, I’d give him something to remember me by, he wouldn’t call me again in a hurry.”
    He smiled. “That’s an idea.”
    When he was at the door, she called after him. “You going to want any supper?”
    “Maybe something light. I expect they’ll be serving at