Read Online Wearing My Halo Tilted by Stephanie Perry Moore - Free Book Online Page B

Dillon was really against it she would probably tell me I better come home. I knew as mad as he was at me he wasn’t gonna go over to my parents house and act a fool. He was foolish but he wasn’t stupid.
    He couldn’t take care of the girls all by himself. I knew Dillon. I knew he respected my mom. He always wished that his mom had some of that class. That get up and go. The bottom line, he was scared of my mom. Not really knowing that all the while, she was on his side more than mine anyway.
    I wanted to talk to my girl, Josie. She’d be screaming in my ear shouting for joy that I had stepped out and did something for me. But that surely wasn’t what I needed either for myself. I did need counseling, but I could not call my mentor. She was still my pastor’s wife, and I didn’t want it known that I’d taken off. I might not have gotten judged, but I couldn’t take any chances, so I was in a pickle.
    Who could I talk to? I wondered. And that’s when my dear old daddy popped into my brain. I couldn’t dial his number fast enough. However, the call went straight to voicemail. I knew if I dialed my parents’ home, my mom would probably answer and I’d be stuck explaining. She always played the role of my dad’s gatekeeper. Not only did she make sure his other faculty and staff teachers didn’t get too close to him, I believed she liked keeping him at arms distance from me. I called her out several times and she said she wasn’t doing that, but she did. I called and I got the third degree; I just wanted to speak to my own dad. So sometimes I just didn’t call.
    My mom couldn’t know everything. She was way over the top. Still wanting to run my life when I was grown. She didn’t know how to handle things I didn’t agree with. What was I to do with no one to call on? It was like God just reached down from heaven and thumped me on the head and said, “Listen, why don’t you talk to Me?”
    Placing down the phone and getting on my knees in the limo, I bowed my head and said, “Lord, I really don’t know what to say. My life is kinda good, but it’s extremely crazy. I don’t know if I did the wrong thing. Surely you want my marriage to last, right? I mean, Dillon and I love our kids with all our hearts. But if he’s not loving me like You love the Church, then maybe this is my way out. What are You saying? Can You give me some direction? Right now I just think I did what was right. Show me how to walk Your way please. I feel so separated from You right now, that if You told me to turn left I’d probably go right. Speak to my heart, Lord.”
    I was so deep into my prayer that I didn’t realize the car had stopped. All of a sudden the limousine door was opened. The mean driver looked at me like I was some project kid that had no business being in the ride.
    Rudely he said, “Ah, it’s time to get out.”
    Gathering my stuff, I saw the Ritz-Carlton hotel and realized again that this was really going to be first class all the way. Reaching into my pocket, I saw the three hundred dollars of cash I had on me and gave the gentleman a five. I didn’t want to give him that. He looked extremely disappointed like, “Yeah, I know why I hated that you were black.”
    I said to him with a smile, “Treat me better and you’ll get more. Be glad I don’t have the energy to report you.”
    I walked away beaming inside, thinking, Yeah, the same thing goes for my husband. That goes to show him dagonnit. That’s what he gets. If it’s over then let me move on. As quickly as I thought it, I sighed. Is moving on going to be easy though? In the depths of my soul I doubted it. What choice did I have? I was alone now. Then again I wasn’t. I had hope because God was with me. And I had already turned all this mess over to Him. So somehow, someway, it was going to work out for the best. I just