Read Online Wax Apple by Donald E. Westlake - Free Book Online
Authors: Donald E. Westlake
Ads: Link
could possibly hope to get anywhere in psychiatry. In a way, I was pleased to see that my reaction to him was echoed by everybody else, but on the other hand it seemed to me the man’s manner could only wind up doing more harm than good. It seemed to be bringing out Helen Dorsey’s worst characteristics, for instance, and at the same time confirming Doris Brady’s belief in her own inadequacy.
By the time the two hours was up, I was about convinced that whoever was setting these booby traps was doing so purely in hopes of sooner or later catching Doctor Fredericks. I determined to go directly from the session to Doctor Cameron and find out if he had any idea how his assistant treated the residents.
But when the time was up and we all started to leave, Doctor Fredericks said, “Mr. Tobin, would you mind staying on a minute? It won’t take long.”
What wouldn’t take long? I stood where I was, and the others filed out, and the two of us were alone.
Doctor Fredericks took off his glasses and leaned back in his chair. He put one wing of the glasses in his mouth, a gesture I have always thought pretentious and stupid. He said, “Sit down again, why don’t you?”
“If this won’t take long—”
“It’ll be even shorter,” he said, “if our heads are at the same level. Do sit down.”
So I sat down. Why was the man so irritating? What I really wanted to do was hit him in the mouth.
He studied me cavalierly for a minute, and then said, “I don’t know what it is about you, Tobin. I’ve read the reports on you, of course, and you just don’t stack up. You’re hiding something, or faking something. Or you’re afraid of something. Is that it? Are you afraid somebody here will decide you really shouldn’t have been released yet, and we’ll bundle you up in a restraining jacket and ship you back to Revo Hill? Is that the matter?”
“It’s just that everything’s strange here, that’s all,” I said. The damn man was offensive, but he was sharp. His narrow nose had smelled something.
He shook his head. He said, “You don’t behave like an overawed newcomer. You behave more like a spectator in a zoo. You feel superior to the rest of the residents, don’t you?”
I had to deny that, naturally, and I did, but of course I automatically had felt superior. After all, I’d never had a mental breakdown, I’d never had to be hospitalized, though God knows there’d been strain enough. But my problems hadn’t defeated me, not entirely. I’d adapted, I’d found a way to survive. So yes, I did feel superior to the other residents, but without tipping my hand I couldn’t tell Fredericks so, or tell him why.
In fact, it had long since become ridiculous to go on keeping Fredericks in the dark, and if he hadn’t been such an offensive personality I would have told him the truth long before this. But that finally explained why Doctor Cameron hadn’t told him, a question that had been puzzling me. Now I could see why he’d chosen to follow his own counsel and not expose his ideas to the insulting contemplation of his assistant. I was sure it had been that, and nothing to do with security, that had kept him from confiding in Fredericks.
But why keep Fredericks around at all? Still, I supposed a psychiatric assistant for a place like The Midway might not be an easy post to fill. Doctor Cameron himself was here out of a labor of love, The Midway being his own creation, but an assistant would have to be here only as one step in his career. And wouldn’t the best men go to hospitals and sanitariums, where the real work needed to be done, rather than to a halfway house for the more timid former patients? Only the dregs would be left for Doctor Cameron to choose from, and Fredericks was the result.
At any rate, he brushed aside my denial of superiority feelings, saying, “I watched you throughout the session, Tobin, and you saw yourself as merely an observer, not a participant at all. You watched the others
By the time the two hours was up, I was about convinced that whoever was setting these booby traps was doing so purely in hopes of sooner or later catching Doctor Fredericks. I determined to go directly from the session to Doctor Cameron and find out if he had any idea how his assistant treated the residents.
But when the time was up and we all started to leave, Doctor Fredericks said, “Mr. Tobin, would you mind staying on a minute? It won’t take long.”
What wouldn’t take long? I stood where I was, and the others filed out, and the two of us were alone.
Doctor Fredericks took off his glasses and leaned back in his chair. He put one wing of the glasses in his mouth, a gesture I have always thought pretentious and stupid. He said, “Sit down again, why don’t you?”
“If this won’t take long—”
“It’ll be even shorter,” he said, “if our heads are at the same level. Do sit down.”
So I sat down. Why was the man so irritating? What I really wanted to do was hit him in the mouth.
He studied me cavalierly for a minute, and then said, “I don’t know what it is about you, Tobin. I’ve read the reports on you, of course, and you just don’t stack up. You’re hiding something, or faking something. Or you’re afraid of something. Is that it? Are you afraid somebody here will decide you really shouldn’t have been released yet, and we’ll bundle you up in a restraining jacket and ship you back to Revo Hill? Is that the matter?”
“It’s just that everything’s strange here, that’s all,” I said. The damn man was offensive, but he was sharp. His narrow nose had smelled something.
He shook his head. He said, “You don’t behave like an overawed newcomer. You behave more like a spectator in a zoo. You feel superior to the rest of the residents, don’t you?”
I had to deny that, naturally, and I did, but of course I automatically had felt superior. After all, I’d never had a mental breakdown, I’d never had to be hospitalized, though God knows there’d been strain enough. But my problems hadn’t defeated me, not entirely. I’d adapted, I’d found a way to survive. So yes, I did feel superior to the other residents, but without tipping my hand I couldn’t tell Fredericks so, or tell him why.
In fact, it had long since become ridiculous to go on keeping Fredericks in the dark, and if he hadn’t been such an offensive personality I would have told him the truth long before this. But that finally explained why Doctor Cameron hadn’t told him, a question that had been puzzling me. Now I could see why he’d chosen to follow his own counsel and not expose his ideas to the insulting contemplation of his assistant. I was sure it had been that, and nothing to do with security, that had kept him from confiding in Fredericks.
But why keep Fredericks around at all? Still, I supposed a psychiatric assistant for a place like The Midway might not be an easy post to fill. Doctor Cameron himself was here out of a labor of love, The Midway being his own creation, but an assistant would have to be here only as one step in his career. And wouldn’t the best men go to hospitals and sanitariums, where the real work needed to be done, rather than to a halfway house for the more timid former patients? Only the dregs would be left for Doctor Cameron to choose from, and Fredericks was the result.
At any rate, he brushed aside my denial of superiority feelings, saying, “I watched you throughout the session, Tobin, and you saw yourself as merely an observer, not a participant at all. You watched the others
Similar Books
