Read Online Waking Lazarus by T. L. Hines - Free Book Online Page B

himself, a comforting action that staved off the waiting headache: one thousand three hundred twenty-seven, one thousand three hundred twenty-eight .
    He wanted to be home, safe in his recliner behind locked doors. One thousand three hundred thirty-three, one thousand three hundred thirty-four .
    Nathan, for his part, seemed not to notice. Spaghetti was indeed his favorite dinner, and he happily slurped it into his mouth as he chattered on about school, puppies, his best friend, Bradley Whittaker, and every other thought that floated through his mind. Jude was glad to have Nathan’s incessant questions and giggles to fill the void that he couldn’t.
    And time clicked by. Two thousand one hundred sixty-two, two thousand one hundred sixty-three .
    Rachel eventually stood and started to clear dishes. Jude thickly offered to help. She looked at him with that same odd sparkle in her eyes, then told him to tuck Nathan into bed.
    This thought electrified Nathan, and he jumped up and down in front of Jude, begging to be picked up. Pick up your son . Jude lifted him for the second time that evening—this time didn’t seem as draining, but more natural—and retreated down the hall.
    In Nathan’s room, Jude watched as Nathan peeled off his clothes, then wriggled into pajamas decorated with blue bunnies. Jude was amazed by his son’s seemingly endless energy, and he watched Nathan bounce up and down on the bed a few times.
    ‘‘Wanna read me a story?’’ Nathan asked.
    Jude nodded. Nathan crawled to the brightly colored bookcase at the end of his bed to retrieve a book. He handed it to Jude and then lay back down on his pillow. Jude opened the book, something about a mouse named Marigold, and turned to the first page. Jude started to read when Nathan’s voice interrupted, asking, ‘‘Aren’t you gonna lay down with me?’’
    Jude stared into his son’s eyes, wanting to say yes. Wanting to simply put his head down on the pillow and read a fun little story about a mouse who builds a yellow house. Maybe. Maybe. What was so hard about lying down, anyway?
    ‘‘Okay,’’ he said. Jude hesitated, then did it quickly. He put his head on the pillow, and his son snuggled against his shoulder, ready to listen before going to sleep. So far, so good. Jude took a deep breath, opened the book again, and started at page one.
    He made it all the way to page five before the panic tightened his lungs. It always happened this way whenever he tried to lie down. His body stiffened, and his chest tightened like an iron clamp. Lying down was like . . . well, it was like dying— really dying, not the ‘‘dying’’ Jude Allman had become famous for doing—and the thought of that scared him. He bolted upright, gasping for air.
    Nathan sat up with him, then put his hand on Jude’s back and rubbed. Jude looked at Nathan, dimly thinking how he himself felt so young and terrified while his son seemed so old and wise.
    ‘‘You’re scared of laying down, Daddy?’’
    Jude paused, then nodded.
    ‘‘ ’Sokay. I’m scared of some things, too.’’
    Nathan continued to rub his father’s back, and a tear formed in Jude’s eye for what felt like the first time in forever.

10
    SHAMING
    After Rachel finished putting the dishes in the washer and cleaning up—it really didn’t take much time at all—she walked silently to Nathan’s room. She wanted to check, make sure everything was all right. Not because she thought anything would be wrong, nothing like that. It was just . . . Ron really hadn’t been alone with Nathan very much. She didn’t have any reason to feel that Ron was a danger to her son. His son, too, she reminded herself. But then, she didn’t have any reason to feel that Ron wasn’t a danger, either. He was now, as ever, mysterious and unknown. And she wasn’t about to distrust her God-given maternal instincts.
    When Rachel was a young girl, the family next door owned a wolf/dog cross. The dog had always been happy and