Read Online Waiting For You by Natalie Ward - Free Book Online Page B

I wrote the letter. I knew you wouldn’t remember me yet, knew you still had no idea I even existed, but I needed to get these things down,” I say, watching as she continues to stare up at me. “I desperately wanted you to wake up, but I also had to get the anger and frustration out of my head before you did. I didn’t want you waking up to that.”
    “Ben…” Evie whispers, turning so she’s facing me now. I watch as she stares up at me, her hand sliding to the back of my neck. “None of this was your fault. Please, Ben, I really need you to believe that.”
    I blink at her and try to look away, but Evie’s fingers press harder against my neck, keeping me in this moment. Eventually I nod, more to make her happy than because I actually believe it.
    “Say it,” she whispers, knowing exactly what I’m doing.
    I stare back at her, wondering if she really doesn’t blame me for any of this, if she really believes that I didn’t somehow fail her. “I tried so hard to find you this time,” I whisper, not looking away now. “I’d started making the list, of all the places you’d shown up and your families and stuff. I knew it wasn’t much, but I was trying to work out if there was a pattern. I even did this.”
    Evie watches as I reach for the box of things again and grab the old map of Fleet that I’d marked all her locations on. Back then I’d thought if maybe I could look at it on a map, like they do in all those crime shows, then something would suddenly jump out at me. Obviously it’s either complete bullshit when that happens on TV, or I’m a fucking moron, because I could never see anything in Evie’s movements.
    “Oh wow,” she says as I hold it out to her.
    “I know. Eventually I had to get a bigger map,” I say, pulling the next one out. “One that included the whole country, but this is how I started.”
    Evie stares at the two maps, at all of the locations, including her most recent one, circled in black marker. “It’s amazing how close we were in the beginning, isn’t it,” she says. “How lucky that was given we were so young.”
    I nod, even though she isn’t looking at me. “I know. I used to wonder about that too. Why it was that you stayed in Fleet initially and then always in the UK.”
    Evie glances up at me, smiling. “Did you come up with any explanations?”
    I shrug, smiling at her. “Sort of,” I admit. “Although I’m not sure it’s much of an answer.”
    “Tell me.”
    I let out a deep breath. “I guess I thought it was because I was always meant to find you,” I tell her. “That whatever this was, however it worked, it kept you close when we were kids, because that was the only way I was ever going to be able to find you.”
    Evie’s face softens now as she smiles at me. I watch as she leans in and presses a kiss to my lips. “Yeah, it would’ve been pretty hard if I’d moved to another country.”
    My eyes close. “Please don’t even say that, I can’t imagine what it will be like if that ever happens.”
    I feel her hand on my cheek and I force my eyes to open. She holds her other hand in front of me now, the tattoo right in my line of sight. “I’ll find my way home, Ben,” she whispers.
    “Yeah, I know you will,” I say. “It just might take longer, that’s all. And what if you wake up in China or something, somewhere you can’t even speak the language?”
    Evie laughs now as she pats my cheek. “Ben, don’t worry. As soon as I remember, I’ll know where I’m supposed to be.”
    “Hmmm,” I say, turning to look at the map, wondering if there ever was a pattern to where she went, or whether it really was all just random.
    “So,” Evie says, her fingers sliding along my stomach and into the waistband of my sweats now, distracting me. “Should I pay up and then we can move on?”
    I know exactly what she’s doing and why she’s doing it. And honestly, the way she’s touching me right now, the feel of her fingers on me, I’m