too embarrassed to let anyone see it. She grimaced. Why couldn’t she be normal and sleepwalk or snore?
Her nighttime tears had driven James crazy and he was glad when she’d suggested separate bedrooms, claiming he was tired of being woken up every night, having to listen to her stupid crying.
“Lane?”
She felt the hair on the back of her neck rise at the sound of the familiar voice.
Glancing up, she saw her ex-husband. It was as if thinking his name had summoned him and she took a deep breath in hopes of remaining calm. She was too tired to deal with this.
“Oh my God,” he said, stepping closer. “I was just heading out for some lunch and I saw you sitting here. When did you come back to Baltimore?” His voice was charming and kind and for a moment, she was reminded of the man she’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
“I’ve only been in town a few weeks.”
58
Waiting for Wednesday
“I wish you would’ve called me. I’ve been so worried about you. You just disappeared.”
She’d pursued her divorce strictly through lawyers, managing to never have to see James during the process. Since he’d beaten her and put her in the hospital, the lawyers never questioned her desire to handle the whole ordeal by proxy.
“I needed to get away.” She wished her voice didn’t sound so tight, so strained.
“I’m sure you can understand that.”
“Lane, I’ve been destroyed this last year. Eaten up with guilt. I…I wanted to say I’m sorry. To apologize for hurting you. God, I never meant to hurt you like that. It’s just, I was so scared when you said you were leaving—”
She held her hand up, desperate to halt anything else he might say. While James had been a distant, cruel bastard for most of their marriage, there had also been a few good times. His childhood, in many ways, had been as shitty as hers. His parents—both alcoholics—took turns using him for a punching bag, and for years she’d allowed her pity for the abuse he’d suffered to excuse so many of the mean things he’d said to her.
They’d been fools to believe they could actually achieve a normal relationship when neither of them had a clue what that entailed. Having spent the past week with the Collins clan, Lane’s eyes had been opened to what it meant to be part of a large and loving family.
James was out of her life now and she’d moved on, but she truly did believe his words were genuine.
“I accept your apology.”
“I can’t tell you what it means to me to hear you say that,” James said. “I was on my way to pick up some lunch. Would you like to join me?” She fought against the urge to laugh in his face. While she may have accepted his apology, she would never forget what he’d done to her. Never forget the hell he’d put her through.
59
Mari Carr
He smiled and she was shocked to see what looked like blatant desire in his eyes.
He’d never wanted her. Sex with him had been an unpleasant chore…for both of them.
James’ ability to find fault with her extended from housework and daily routines to the bedroom as well. He pointed out every flaw with her body. She’d worried after her divorce that James had killed all her desire, but one minute in Tristan’s presence had proven that fear unfounded.
“Maybe we could spend the afternoon together. Catch up.” She shook her head. “No thanks. I really need to get back home.”
“Home? Where are you living?”
“I’m staying with some friends until I find a place of my own.” Her answer was purposely evasive.
“You look great, Lane.”
She looked around, uncomfortable under his intense stare. She had nothing left to say to him. “I suppose I should be going.” She rose and turned to leave when the silence between them stretched out uncomfortably.
“You left a few things at the house,” he added quickly. “I kept them for you.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I took everything I wanted.”
“I have your grandmother’s
Her nighttime tears had driven James crazy and he was glad when she’d suggested separate bedrooms, claiming he was tired of being woken up every night, having to listen to her stupid crying.
“Lane?”
She felt the hair on the back of her neck rise at the sound of the familiar voice.
Glancing up, she saw her ex-husband. It was as if thinking his name had summoned him and she took a deep breath in hopes of remaining calm. She was too tired to deal with this.
“Oh my God,” he said, stepping closer. “I was just heading out for some lunch and I saw you sitting here. When did you come back to Baltimore?” His voice was charming and kind and for a moment, she was reminded of the man she’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
“I’ve only been in town a few weeks.”
58
Waiting for Wednesday
“I wish you would’ve called me. I’ve been so worried about you. You just disappeared.”
She’d pursued her divorce strictly through lawyers, managing to never have to see James during the process. Since he’d beaten her and put her in the hospital, the lawyers never questioned her desire to handle the whole ordeal by proxy.
“I needed to get away.” She wished her voice didn’t sound so tight, so strained.
“I’m sure you can understand that.”
“Lane, I’ve been destroyed this last year. Eaten up with guilt. I…I wanted to say I’m sorry. To apologize for hurting you. God, I never meant to hurt you like that. It’s just, I was so scared when you said you were leaving—”
She held her hand up, desperate to halt anything else he might say. While James had been a distant, cruel bastard for most of their marriage, there had also been a few good times. His childhood, in many ways, had been as shitty as hers. His parents—both alcoholics—took turns using him for a punching bag, and for years she’d allowed her pity for the abuse he’d suffered to excuse so many of the mean things he’d said to her.
They’d been fools to believe they could actually achieve a normal relationship when neither of them had a clue what that entailed. Having spent the past week with the Collins clan, Lane’s eyes had been opened to what it meant to be part of a large and loving family.
James was out of her life now and she’d moved on, but she truly did believe his words were genuine.
“I accept your apology.”
“I can’t tell you what it means to me to hear you say that,” James said. “I was on my way to pick up some lunch. Would you like to join me?” She fought against the urge to laugh in his face. While she may have accepted his apology, she would never forget what he’d done to her. Never forget the hell he’d put her through.
59
Mari Carr
He smiled and she was shocked to see what looked like blatant desire in his eyes.
He’d never wanted her. Sex with him had been an unpleasant chore…for both of them.
James’ ability to find fault with her extended from housework and daily routines to the bedroom as well. He pointed out every flaw with her body. She’d worried after her divorce that James had killed all her desire, but one minute in Tristan’s presence had proven that fear unfounded.
“Maybe we could spend the afternoon together. Catch up.” She shook her head. “No thanks. I really need to get back home.”
“Home? Where are you living?”
“I’m staying with some friends until I find a place of my own.” Her answer was purposely evasive.
“You look great, Lane.”
She looked around, uncomfortable under his intense stare. She had nothing left to say to him. “I suppose I should be going.” She rose and turned to leave when the silence between them stretched out uncomfortably.
“You left a few things at the house,” he added quickly. “I kept them for you.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I took everything I wanted.”
“I have your grandmother’s
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