and art as bourgeois fripperies. Maybe less so now.’
‘And your mother?’ asks Edie.
‘My dad’s not a man you stand up to, not if you know what’s good for you.’
This wasn’t the plan, to bleat on about my childhood, and I’m not exactly sure how it happened. The idea was to stick the two of us in front of some great art, because great art sets one’s own sad stabs at creativity in proper perspective; it brings distance and clarity. Sometimes it even throws up solutions to problems.
Not today. Well, not immediately. Not until we’re strolling back to the office along Piccadilly and I suggest to Edie that maybe we’ll have to make do with ‘Just Say No’ as a strapline.
‘I’ve gone right off it,’ she says forcefully. ‘It sounds too much like a government health warning.’
I know the sensation; it’s always the same – a chill running across my shoulders. ‘That’s it!’
‘What?’
‘Clever girl.’
‘What?’ demands Edie. ‘What did I say?’
It looks great mocked up. We wanted more tension between the image and the strapline and we’ve got it. A white strip cuts a crude swathe along the bottom of the photo of the kiss, and stamped across it in bold black letters are the words ‘WARNING: SWOSH! CAN SERIOUSLY AFFECT YOUR SOCIAL LIFE’.
Ralph is delighted, and not only because we’ve managed to get the product name in there. He finds it daring, arresting, and he thinks the humorous little swipe at our health-and-safety-obsessed society has broad appeal. Moreover, it’s a line that lends itself to variations. We shove a few in front of him. The one he likes most is ‘SMOKING KILLS. SWOSH! DOESN’T’. It’s not for now; it’s for way down the road as the campaign evolves. Clients love a concept with legs; they feel like they’re getting more for their money.
Ralph sits back in his chair. ‘I love it. I’d pitch it myself if I didn’t know Patrick was going to make it fly.’ And if that isn’t a warning shot across Patrick’s bows, I don’t know what is.
When we return to our office, Edie seems a little shell-shocked. ‘Tristan didn’t say much.’
‘What’s to say?’
‘He’s always got something to say.’
‘Maybe he hates the idea,’ I suggest.
‘You think?’ She glances at me from the sofa, where she is distractedly stroking Doggo.
‘He’s a pragmatist; he’s probably just keeping his powder dry.’
‘Meaning?’
Meaning why the hell are we talking about Tristan when we’ve just received the kind of endorsement we could only have dreamed of from the main man?
‘Don’t worry about Tristan. Worry about how Patrick’s going to perform on Friday. There’s no medal for coming second.’
It’s a big account and we’re a small agency. The buzz soon builds. Clive and Connor are the first to stop by our office. They seem genuinely impressed with the work and pleased for us. Megan and Seth are almost as convincing.
‘Great line, you bastard,’ jokes Megan.
‘Actually, it was Edie’s idea.’
‘Not really,’ says Edie.
Megan bares her big teeth. ‘You guys have really got to get your story straight.’
My only worry is that the concept might be a bit risqué. I don’t say this to Edie. I tell her that even if it doesn’t come off, she has made her mark on Ralph, which is just as important. ‘Anyway, it would be sickening if you found a home for your first piece of work. It took me five attempts, and in the end it was a magazine ad for hearing aids: “Going Deaf? Buy One of These”.’
She laughs, then says, ‘Thanks for before. You know I don’t deserve any credit for the line.’
‘You were the one who said it: government health warning.’
‘I said it but I didn’t see it. You saw it.’
‘Only because you spoke the words. Listen, what’s mine is yours … ours. It’s called teamwork.’
She doesn’t reply immediately. ‘You know, Dan, you’re one of the good guys.’
I’m touched by the level of feeling
‘And your mother?’ asks Edie.
‘My dad’s not a man you stand up to, not if you know what’s good for you.’
This wasn’t the plan, to bleat on about my childhood, and I’m not exactly sure how it happened. The idea was to stick the two of us in front of some great art, because great art sets one’s own sad stabs at creativity in proper perspective; it brings distance and clarity. Sometimes it even throws up solutions to problems.
Not today. Well, not immediately. Not until we’re strolling back to the office along Piccadilly and I suggest to Edie that maybe we’ll have to make do with ‘Just Say No’ as a strapline.
‘I’ve gone right off it,’ she says forcefully. ‘It sounds too much like a government health warning.’
I know the sensation; it’s always the same – a chill running across my shoulders. ‘That’s it!’
‘What?’
‘Clever girl.’
‘What?’ demands Edie. ‘What did I say?’
It looks great mocked up. We wanted more tension between the image and the strapline and we’ve got it. A white strip cuts a crude swathe along the bottom of the photo of the kiss, and stamped across it in bold black letters are the words ‘WARNING: SWOSH! CAN SERIOUSLY AFFECT YOUR SOCIAL LIFE’.
Ralph is delighted, and not only because we’ve managed to get the product name in there. He finds it daring, arresting, and he thinks the humorous little swipe at our health-and-safety-obsessed society has broad appeal. Moreover, it’s a line that lends itself to variations. We shove a few in front of him. The one he likes most is ‘SMOKING KILLS. SWOSH! DOESN’T’. It’s not for now; it’s for way down the road as the campaign evolves. Clients love a concept with legs; they feel like they’re getting more for their money.
Ralph sits back in his chair. ‘I love it. I’d pitch it myself if I didn’t know Patrick was going to make it fly.’ And if that isn’t a warning shot across Patrick’s bows, I don’t know what is.
When we return to our office, Edie seems a little shell-shocked. ‘Tristan didn’t say much.’
‘What’s to say?’
‘He’s always got something to say.’
‘Maybe he hates the idea,’ I suggest.
‘You think?’ She glances at me from the sofa, where she is distractedly stroking Doggo.
‘He’s a pragmatist; he’s probably just keeping his powder dry.’
‘Meaning?’
Meaning why the hell are we talking about Tristan when we’ve just received the kind of endorsement we could only have dreamed of from the main man?
‘Don’t worry about Tristan. Worry about how Patrick’s going to perform on Friday. There’s no medal for coming second.’
It’s a big account and we’re a small agency. The buzz soon builds. Clive and Connor are the first to stop by our office. They seem genuinely impressed with the work and pleased for us. Megan and Seth are almost as convincing.
‘Great line, you bastard,’ jokes Megan.
‘Actually, it was Edie’s idea.’
‘Not really,’ says Edie.
Megan bares her big teeth. ‘You guys have really got to get your story straight.’
My only worry is that the concept might be a bit risqué. I don’t say this to Edie. I tell her that even if it doesn’t come off, she has made her mark on Ralph, which is just as important. ‘Anyway, it would be sickening if you found a home for your first piece of work. It took me five attempts, and in the end it was a magazine ad for hearing aids: “Going Deaf? Buy One of These”.’
She laughs, then says, ‘Thanks for before. You know I don’t deserve any credit for the line.’
‘You were the one who said it: government health warning.’
‘I said it but I didn’t see it. You saw it.’
‘Only because you spoke the words. Listen, what’s mine is yours … ours. It’s called teamwork.’
She doesn’t reply immediately. ‘You know, Dan, you’re one of the good guys.’
I’m touched by the level of feeling
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