finally moved away from me. My sadness flowed into relief, and for the first time since her death, I began to feel at peace with her passing.
“Because you’re no longer on your natural path, you haven’t been able to draw from the strength and support of your ancestors,” Hans told my representative. “Your ancestors are willing to help you integrate a new path alongside theirs so you will no longer feel alone.” He put his hands on the shoulders of my maternal grandfather and moved him to the left of my representative. He then guided my paternal grandfather to the right. My great-grandfather went to the left of my maternal grandfather, and the Cherokee nation to the opposite side.
Seeing my family surrounding me was extremely powerful. I felt loved and supported for the first time in years. With my ancestors flanking me like wings, I could imagine flying anywhere with their help.
Hans remained uncharacteristically quiet, and everyone within the circle looked nearly as wornout as I felt. Faces were streaked with mascara, and wads of crumpled tissue littered the floor.
“Good,” Hans finally said after a long silence. “Everyone in the field can return to their seats.”
The representatives inside the circle wandered back to their chairs and gradually returned to being a group of people I didn’t know. As they reclaimed their seats, pairs of concerned eyes turned to me as if to silently ask how I was doing.
Hans looked around as he addressed the entire group: “Everyone, close your eyes and once again breathe into your heart and exhale any energy from the field that remains inside you. It’s important to release the energy from inside your body before you leave this room.”
I followed his instructions and began to feel much lighter and more grounded than I had during the previous hour. It was finally over, and I felt an enormous sense of relief.
“What happened today in this constellation is a sacred bond between everyone who is here,” Hans continued, “and it’s important not to speak about it outside of this room. In fact, it will be most helpful for everyone”—and he looked right at me—“including you, Scott, if you try to forget what happened and allow the energy to work through you without letting your mind get in the way. I know it’s difficult, but we moved a lot of energy today, and it will be many years from now before it all settles.”
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with that information, but I did feel a lot better and was grateful. If he meant that I would gradually heal over the course of the following years, then I was all for it.
“Okay, we’re done for now,” said Hans abruptly. “Let’s take a brief break and give Scott some time to settle in with his new support system.”
Martika handed me a glass of water and asked if I was okay. Everything was still in a fog, but I felt much better. And definitely more interested in living than I had since Cheryl had passed. I knew she was finally gone, and for the first time in years I was ready to live again.
“Come on,” said Martika. “Let me give you a ride home. I think you need to rest.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
D uring the days following the soul retrieval and constellation, my senses were extremely heightened and my spirit was filled with a level of energy I hadn’t felt in years. It was as if my soul finally had feelings of its own and was highly sensitive. Almost everything reminded me that my soul was there, and it was still tender to the touch. When I opened the window in my apartment, a happy person, a bird flying—even the wind—all seemed to poke my spirit and say, You’re finally alive.
Since I was feeling so sensitive, I didn’t leave my apartment for more than a week in order to recuperate. When I finally decided to get some fresh air, I had barely walked a block when I saw a girl in her early twenties with bright pink hair, a short skirt, and black-and-white striped socks skipping down the
“Because you’re no longer on your natural path, you haven’t been able to draw from the strength and support of your ancestors,” Hans told my representative. “Your ancestors are willing to help you integrate a new path alongside theirs so you will no longer feel alone.” He put his hands on the shoulders of my maternal grandfather and moved him to the left of my representative. He then guided my paternal grandfather to the right. My great-grandfather went to the left of my maternal grandfather, and the Cherokee nation to the opposite side.
Seeing my family surrounding me was extremely powerful. I felt loved and supported for the first time in years. With my ancestors flanking me like wings, I could imagine flying anywhere with their help.
Hans remained uncharacteristically quiet, and everyone within the circle looked nearly as wornout as I felt. Faces were streaked with mascara, and wads of crumpled tissue littered the floor.
“Good,” Hans finally said after a long silence. “Everyone in the field can return to their seats.”
The representatives inside the circle wandered back to their chairs and gradually returned to being a group of people I didn’t know. As they reclaimed their seats, pairs of concerned eyes turned to me as if to silently ask how I was doing.
Hans looked around as he addressed the entire group: “Everyone, close your eyes and once again breathe into your heart and exhale any energy from the field that remains inside you. It’s important to release the energy from inside your body before you leave this room.”
I followed his instructions and began to feel much lighter and more grounded than I had during the previous hour. It was finally over, and I felt an enormous sense of relief.
“What happened today in this constellation is a sacred bond between everyone who is here,” Hans continued, “and it’s important not to speak about it outside of this room. In fact, it will be most helpful for everyone”—and he looked right at me—“including you, Scott, if you try to forget what happened and allow the energy to work through you without letting your mind get in the way. I know it’s difficult, but we moved a lot of energy today, and it will be many years from now before it all settles.”
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with that information, but I did feel a lot better and was grateful. If he meant that I would gradually heal over the course of the following years, then I was all for it.
“Okay, we’re done for now,” said Hans abruptly. “Let’s take a brief break and give Scott some time to settle in with his new support system.”
Martika handed me a glass of water and asked if I was okay. Everything was still in a fog, but I felt much better. And definitely more interested in living than I had since Cheryl had passed. I knew she was finally gone, and for the first time in years I was ready to live again.
“Come on,” said Martika. “Let me give you a ride home. I think you need to rest.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
D uring the days following the soul retrieval and constellation, my senses were extremely heightened and my spirit was filled with a level of energy I hadn’t felt in years. It was as if my soul finally had feelings of its own and was highly sensitive. Almost everything reminded me that my soul was there, and it was still tender to the touch. When I opened the window in my apartment, a happy person, a bird flying—even the wind—all seemed to poke my spirit and say, You’re finally alive.
Since I was feeling so sensitive, I didn’t leave my apartment for more than a week in order to recuperate. When I finally decided to get some fresh air, I had barely walked a block when I saw a girl in her early twenties with bright pink hair, a short skirt, and black-and-white striped socks skipping down the
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