Read Online Visions of Heat by Nalini Singh - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Nalini Singh
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“After a few weeks, the dark visions began to get more detailed. I started to see flashes, images in pieces, parts of a jigsaw.” Another hobby that kept her sane. Or as sane as any F-Psy ever was. “But it was still out of my control because I couldn’t put the pieces together.”
Vaughn’s thumb rubbed against her skin and she turned her head. “Yes?”
“Why did you wait so long to come to us?”
She was caught by the demand in his voice. That, she recognized. People often demanded things from her. “Because until Marine was murdered, I had no way of knowing whether these visions were real. I thought my mind was disintegrating—it’s something that happens to all F-Psy, but generally not until the fifth decade or so of life. I believed my decline was beginning early.”
“I’ve never heard of that,” Sascha whispered.
“That’s not surprising. The PsyClans don’t want to be known as producing defective Psy and by the time we deteriorate, we’ve accumulated enough wealth to ensure discreet medical care during our decline.” She tried not to think about what was coming, tried not to imagine herself being unable to speak in coherent sentences or tell the difference between foresight and reality. But that didn’t mean she was ignorant of the inevitability. It was why certain NightStar telepaths had trained in the specialist area of blocking. When F-Psy crashed for the final time, it was the blockers who kept their madness from leaking out into the PsyNet, providing the shields the fractured F-Psy could no longer maintain.
“I think that’s a load of bullshit.” Vaughn’s hand tightened a fraction, but it felt like a full-body hug to her senses.
The only thing that kept her from an overload reaction was her concentration on his words. “To what are you referring?”
His touch gentled though she’d made no verbal complaint, that stroking thumb coming to a halt. “They had Sascha convinced she was going mad just because she didn’t fit into the mold they’d created for her. Sounds like the same thing.”
Faith looked at Sascha. “He doesn’t understand.”
“What?” Vaughn’s tone was more growl than sound.
It was Sascha who answered. “The F-Psy had one of the highest rates of mental illness even before Silence.”
Lucas’s arms came around his mate in a tight hug. Faith wondered what Lucas had heard that she hadn’t, because from the look on Sascha’s face, it seemed to have been exactly what she’d needed. “But highest doesn’t translate to all, does it, Sascha darling?”
Faith found her eyes following the movement of Lucas’s hand over Sascha’s curls. Until Vaughn’s thumb whispered over her skin again. She stiffened, caught off guard to find that he’d moved closer. But she couldn’t speak, even to tell him to back off. Perhaps she’d exhausted her ability to deal with the amount of new material she was being forced to process.
“Don’t believe everything you’ve been told, Faith.”
It was the first time he’d said her name and he made it sound interesting, as if it were more than a useful tag to call her by, made it sound . . . She didn’t know to describe it, but she knew it was something she’d never before heard.
“The Psy Council is expert at spinning lies to further their own ends.”
She stood without warning and headed for the door, her steps unsteady but determined. “I need to breathe.” Walking out into the night, she grabbed the railing around the porch and took several gulps of cold night air.
It was no surprise to feel Vaughn’s heat beside her a bare second later. He leaned his back against the railing so he could look at her. When he raised a hand, she shook her head. “Please, don’t.”
He paused. “You’re stronger than this.”
“No, I’m not. If I were strong, I would’ve faced those visions instead of running from them and my sister would still be alive.” There, it was out, the truth she’d been hiding from since
Vaughn’s thumb rubbed against her skin and she turned her head. “Yes?”
“Why did you wait so long to come to us?”
She was caught by the demand in his voice. That, she recognized. People often demanded things from her. “Because until Marine was murdered, I had no way of knowing whether these visions were real. I thought my mind was disintegrating—it’s something that happens to all F-Psy, but generally not until the fifth decade or so of life. I believed my decline was beginning early.”
“I’ve never heard of that,” Sascha whispered.
“That’s not surprising. The PsyClans don’t want to be known as producing defective Psy and by the time we deteriorate, we’ve accumulated enough wealth to ensure discreet medical care during our decline.” She tried not to think about what was coming, tried not to imagine herself being unable to speak in coherent sentences or tell the difference between foresight and reality. But that didn’t mean she was ignorant of the inevitability. It was why certain NightStar telepaths had trained in the specialist area of blocking. When F-Psy crashed for the final time, it was the blockers who kept their madness from leaking out into the PsyNet, providing the shields the fractured F-Psy could no longer maintain.
“I think that’s a load of bullshit.” Vaughn’s hand tightened a fraction, but it felt like a full-body hug to her senses.
The only thing that kept her from an overload reaction was her concentration on his words. “To what are you referring?”
His touch gentled though she’d made no verbal complaint, that stroking thumb coming to a halt. “They had Sascha convinced she was going mad just because she didn’t fit into the mold they’d created for her. Sounds like the same thing.”
Faith looked at Sascha. “He doesn’t understand.”
“What?” Vaughn’s tone was more growl than sound.
It was Sascha who answered. “The F-Psy had one of the highest rates of mental illness even before Silence.”
Lucas’s arms came around his mate in a tight hug. Faith wondered what Lucas had heard that she hadn’t, because from the look on Sascha’s face, it seemed to have been exactly what she’d needed. “But highest doesn’t translate to all, does it, Sascha darling?”
Faith found her eyes following the movement of Lucas’s hand over Sascha’s curls. Until Vaughn’s thumb whispered over her skin again. She stiffened, caught off guard to find that he’d moved closer. But she couldn’t speak, even to tell him to back off. Perhaps she’d exhausted her ability to deal with the amount of new material she was being forced to process.
“Don’t believe everything you’ve been told, Faith.”
It was the first time he’d said her name and he made it sound interesting, as if it were more than a useful tag to call her by, made it sound . . . She didn’t know to describe it, but she knew it was something she’d never before heard.
“The Psy Council is expert at spinning lies to further their own ends.”
She stood without warning and headed for the door, her steps unsteady but determined. “I need to breathe.” Walking out into the night, she grabbed the railing around the porch and took several gulps of cold night air.
It was no surprise to feel Vaughn’s heat beside her a bare second later. He leaned his back against the railing so he could look at her. When he raised a hand, she shook her head. “Please, don’t.”
He paused. “You’re stronger than this.”
“No, I’m not. If I were strong, I would’ve faced those visions instead of running from them and my sister would still be alive.” There, it was out, the truth she’d been hiding from since
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